Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Lastingimpressions]

I produce glitter and sunshine when I cum.

 

[AlexBailey]

I'm shy, modest, and strictly vanilla.

 

[Taegul]

The stories I've written and uploaded to Lit are based 100% on actual experiences I've had in recent years.

 

[LAM_Writes]

I am a world champion pro gamer.

 

[Deacon_Voss]

I'm as healthy as an ox

 

[Lastingimpressions]

Major Tom stole my girlfriend before leaving Earth.

 

[Taegul]

I still go trick or treating every Halloween dressed as a contestant on Naked And Afraid.

 

[Esslemont]

I think it would be pretty cool to stay on here all night.

Lol...fuck that.

 

[Taegul]

Of all the jobs I've held in my life, I think being a porn star was my favorite. But being an astronaut was definitely a close second.

 

[JerseyJade]

I'm quitting my job and moving to Atlantic City to become an escort.

 

[ydahecnot]

I’m going to turn Jade out

 

[LAM_Writes]

My mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries.

 

[sally_sparrow]

I'm a world champion speed walker.

 

[Deacon_Voss]

I dress up as a banana on chemo days, just to tease the nurses

 

[UnusuallyNumb]

I composed a symphony by the age of 7

 

[Taegul]

Darth Vader lied. I was really Luke's father. And he wasn't potty trained until he was five.

 

[LAM_Writes]

I really hate dogs.

 

[Lastingimpressions]

I really hate people who love dogs.

 

[sally_sparrow]

I have enough house plants.

 

[Lastingimpressions]

I have a small, non-threatening looking penis.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

My pimp hand is kind

 

[VoraciousValue]

I've actually spent the last 13 years in a Mexican prison!

 

[AZDryHeat]

I witnessed the gunfight at the OK corral.

 

[J-Rod]

I danced with the devil in the pale moon light

 

[Pranglez]

I live in a yellow submarine.