Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[LAM_Writes]

I invented Post-Its.

 

[n8Romantic]

I had a thought once.

 

[Jd192235]

I invented Post-Its.

I invented pos-tits

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I could really use some more hours at work. I've been spending way too much time partying and I think I should settle down a little bit.

 

[Taegul]

Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas.

God, I fucking hate this time of year.

 

[LAM_Writes]

I developed the theory of relativity.

 

[AZDryHeat]

I never met a person I didn't like.

 

[Taegul]

I developed the theory of relativity.

That's gross. Cousins should be off limits!

I had a newspaper route until my 35th birthday.

 

[LAM_Writes]

I have more Michelin stars than Gordon Ramsay.

 

[Taegul]

I invented the paperless printer. It uses invisible ink.

 

[LAHomedog]

I taught Tom Brady how to throw a football.

 

[AmberLGreen]

I am definitely not thirsty AF right now.

His dirty thoughts do not make my panties wet at all

 

[Wageslave]

I've had more than enough sex to last me a lifetime

 

[Esslemont]

I did not watch 12 hours of anime yesterday...

I also did not jerk off to cartoons.

 

[OxfordJack]

It's been great having a nice quiet afternoon with no one to talk to!

 

[mickyp123]

i have not been surfing any kinky porn.

 

[LAHomedog]

I was the 5th Beatle.

 

[Moochienanu]

I can’t stand my bum being smacked.
Just yuck.
It’s awful and doesn’t feel good at all.

I definitely DON’T want any of that so much right now…



and I am super NOT wet thinking about it.

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

I have over a million subscribers to my Only Fans page!

 

[Whiskeyjack]

I am not even the slightest bit turned on


and I absolutely dont care if my toy isnt charged...just in case

I'm not interested in what's happening here at all.

 

[Taegul]

I hate French accents. I hate British accents. And I especially hate with a fucking passion Aussie accents!

 

[JerseyJade]

Well I finally did it. I made my first porn video. I'll post the link to it once I upload it to Porn Hub.

 

[Dribble]

Well I finally did it. I made my first porn video. I'll post the link to it once I upload it to Porn Hub.

Lol...did you really think the file i gave you was the only copy?

 

[JerseyJade]

Lol...did you really think the file i gave you was the only copy?

 

[Taegul]

My singing of the National Anthem at a World Series game was ranked by the public below Roseanne Arnold.