Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[LAM_Writes]

I smuggle cats for underground cat juggling rings.

 

[Stopokochac]

I absolutely HATE feet! They're so gross. They're ugly and smelly. I've NEVER seen a foot I find "sexy", and IDK how anyone could. I would NEVER touch any, let alone put any in my mouth. Girls are supposed to wear shoes. When I'm with a girl, she's keeping her socks on, and if she wants a massage/pedicure, she can go to the spa. And I certainly wouldn't drink a glass of wine after a girl dipped her toes in it, that's just nasty.

 

[Taegul]

I went to a casino in Vegas, walked up to a roulette table, and promptly bet my entire life savings on blue.

 

[MorningWoodFeelsGood]

My name is Don Giovanni. I have a faithful servant named Leporello who
will never leave me.

 

[LAM_Writes]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.

 

[Taegul]

I graduated college with magna cum loud honors. All my neighbors could verify.

 

[mynameisben]

I would have won the 1989 Miss America beauty pageant had Gretchen Carlson not slept with all the judges.


Ben

 

[AlexBailey]

I could drink anyone under the table.

 

[AlexBailey]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.

Really? Me too!

 

[cheekygirl75]

I am 100% sober and not drunk at all

 

[ydahecnot]

I invented a boomerang that comes back only if it wants to

 

[AlexBailey]

I hate alcohol and weed.

 

[Pranglez]

I think Classic Cars are ugly and a complete waste of time and money.

 

[Esslemont]

I can sing better than the girls.

 

[LAM_Writes]

I once swam the length of the Nile.

 

[mynameisben]

Queen Elizabeth II once gave me a blow job behind the dumpster of a Denny's restaurant in Hackensack, New Jersey.


Ben

 

[JerseyJade]

Sometimes people mistaken me for Queen Elizabeth.

 

[mynameisben]

Sometimes people mistaken me for Queen Elizabeth.

Well if that was you, thank you very much, Your Majesty!


Ben

 

[AZDryHeat]

I managed to have four orgasms in one night.

 

[LAM_Writes]

I've proven string theory.

 

[jarigi]

I've disproven string theory.



62M, Only here because I'm not all there....

 

[Taegul]

Scarlett Johansson and I just uploaded our 12th homemade video to Pornhub. I hope this one gets more views than our last "pet play" themed video. And I hope she never makes me wear a beaver tail again.

 

[jarigi]

Scarlett Johansson and I go way, way back. That 2008 court order is STILL current.




62M, dreams........where are the dreams?

 

[AlexBailey]

I’m an angry and vengeful person.

 

[JerseyJade]

My man wanted me to suck his dick tonight. I told him to get lost.