Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Taegul]

I'm not actually awake right now, just sleep typing.

 

[Esslemont]

Wish I didn't have to go out and have fun tonight.

 

[cheekygirl75]

I never have to worry about money

 

[ydahecnot]

I filed my nails under N

 

[mynameisben]

I wait until the night shift comes on to sneak into the basement and loosen the wheel nuts on all the wheelchairs at the Sisters of Mercy Hospital in downtown L.A.


Ben

 

[LAM_Writes]

I have given a TedTalk on solicited dick pics.

 

[SBroadB9]

I've always been such a good girl.

That’s actually true.
You are very good at being bad!

 

[Taegul]

I tried masturbating with a fleshlight once. I really didn't like it so I immediately returned to my tried-and-true Arby's roast beef sandwich. If it ain't broke...

Good luck ever eating at an Arby's again without that mental image tormenting your lunch break...

 

[Taegul]

My hat hides a rainbow mohawk.

 

[Pranglez]

I have never drank an alcoholic beverage. Ever.

 

[Jakevillines]

I have never drank an alcoholic beverage. Ever.

I've never eaten Pringles

 

[Taegul]

I always drive the speed limit.

I also have a bridge to sell if anyone is in the market right now.

 

[Taegul]

I have a ponytail that goes down to my butt, and when you pull it, M&Ms come out of my...well, somewhere. They drop from somewhere...

 

[Cat]

I never behave silly.. but always very serious and constricted

 

[Sinstories]

I never tell a lie

 

[Taegul]

I worked in Hollywood as Arnold Schwarzenegger's body double back in his prime days.

 

[Madmar]

I don't feel like throwing a full fledged temper tantrum complete with lying on the floor kicking and screaming like a 7 year old.

 

[RickTango]

I’m a stud._

 

[AZDryHeat]

I am secretly a Buddhist monk.

 

[Taegul]

I used to build very elaborate sand castles at the beach that drew in tens of thousands of visitors every year. I had to give it up though when local law enforcement discovered I was using cocaine instead of sand. They were very expensive castles I was building...

 

[johnnieblue44]

I used to build very elaborate sand castles at the beach that drew in tens of thousands of visitors every year. I had to give it up though when local law enforcement discovered I was using cocaine instead of sand. They were very expensive castles I was building...

I voted for this administration and I’m proud to say they’re doing a fine job in leading our country down the right path.

 

[Wageslave]

I'm building a machine for time travel

 

[ydahecnot]

The walrus was me.

 

[Taegul]

With Daniel Craig retiring from the James Bond movies, my agent is currently in negotiations for me to get the role. I've been practicing for the role by drinking 5 vodka martinis every night for the last 6 months. *Hiccup*

 

[UnusuallyNumb]

In my free time I work as a model for several high-end retailers.