Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Trubbycat]

Women just won't leave me alone...!

 

[Filipinawife]

I am still a virgin

 

[Cindy027]

National Geographic wants me to photograph life on the space station. Unfortunately I had to decline because I’m scared of heights.

 

[Deadbed1968]

I love nothing more than standing in a crowd, allowing everyone to bump into me over and over..,

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

I'm a proud Republican and anti-vaxxer.

 

[badjanus]

A.D. 1928 as I recall.

I only have three toes but climb telephone poles like a squirrel.

Three toed sloth for accuracy?

 

[Taegul]

My used fleshlight online auction business is really taking off. I'll be a gazillionaire in no time!

 

[Taegul]

I despise all accents. So cringe!

 

[Trubbycat]

Women pay ME for sex.

 

[Taegul]

I floss my teeth daily with strands of hair from the head of the last remaining unicorn on Earth

 

[Trubbycat]

The ladies buzz around me like flies on poop.

 

[7inchglory]

I work a mid job that I hate, have trouble expressing my feelings to others, and I'm still looking for a lady that sets my soul on fire

 

[StillRain]

I’m a cranberry farmer.

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I'm chipper as can be while waking up.
Nary a curse nor foul word ever passes my lips.

 

[Taegul]

I've had 17 different Lit ladies try to buy me plane tickets to come visit them and make sweet love to them but every one of the plane tickets ended up being for North Korea. Apparently a lot of the women on Lit live in North Korea. What are the odds?

 

[Trubbycat]

I absolutely hate sending naughty gifs to ladies that get them all hot and bothered and juicy. Really. Please quit asking.

 

[Coyote100]

I have 10,000 previous posts under a different name, but the moderators kicked me off for being too polite to the ladies.

 

[Dubinsky]

I was born in Antarctica.

 

[AmberLGreen]

I am a fleshlight model

 

[Dubinsky]

I work part-time as a mountaineering instructor.

 

[Taegul]

I haven't eaten anything other than popcorn for the last nine days and my toes are numb.

 

[caitiff1969]

I am sweet and innocent

 

[masterslave00]

I have not masturbated in the last 24 hours

 

[Cindy027]

I have no malice directed to anyone on Lit

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

I'm bright, energetic and raring to go today!