Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Taegul]

I definitely did not just eat a chicken quesadilla. *BURP* Oh, excuse me.

 

[AlexBailey]

I’m completely straight and totally vanilla

 

[PandemicReader8]

I never use sarcasm or satire...

 

[JessGabriel]

I'm a shallow, skinny bitch.

 

[Dubinsky]

I'm a shallow, skinny bitch.

So am I.

 

[positiveflirt]

I once killed three people and maimed seven others to free my kidnapped daughter and she was just in the bathroom the whole time ohmygod embarrassing

 

[Dubinsky]

I can tie a knot in a cherry stem using my penis.

 

[Lily13]

I have a security team who go with me everywhere. Yup, even the bathroom!

 

[Taegul]

The effect that years and years of masturbation has had on my forearms has earned me the nickname of "Popeye" amongst all members of both my harem and my stable.

 

[fakingadulthood]

I’m incredibly wealthy due to a settlement I was paid over the song ‘you’re so vain’, which is, in fact, about me.

 

[Taegul]

I cn't typ worth shiit whn I'm supper horrny.

 

[Coyote100]

I haven’t got a sarcastic bone in my body.

 

[Cymru9696]

I know how to spell masterbait

 

[Trubbycat]

I never shower.

 

[Coyote100]

I love BBQ'd roadrunner.

 

[PassionsFlame]

I never trip on air.

 

[spiderwal]

I’m great at reading signals

 

[Ezeerider]

I use my powers only for good.

 

[Pad_Foot]

I can tell the color and type of panties a woman is wearing

Prove me wrong

 

[Girly_girl]

I have small boobs and a small flat ass.

 

[spankableBelle]

I'm really fucking great at this!

 

[Taegul]

I am definitely not on a lunch break ATM.

 

[Dubinsky]

I am definitely not on a lunch break ATM.

I've never, ever, ever Litted during work hours.

 

[Nightbird]

Im patiently waiting

 

[Taegul]

I'm tired of Lorne Michaels calling me and begging me to be on Saturday Night Live.