The Bears Den
- Thread starter MaryBears
- Start date
- Status
Palleon
At your service
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2003
- Posts
- 6,480
MaryBears said:Good Morning all......Just wanted to say hello and have a great day.....I have to go get an allergy shot then I have to cum home and clean then I i will be back to play....
Hi Mary
Mt dads retirement party is at 1 today, I will see you tomorrow if you dont make it back by then.
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
MaryBears said:Good Morning all......Just wanted to say hello and have a great day.....I have to go get an allergy shot then I have to cum home and clean then I i will be back to play....
Hi {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}} Great to see you hon!!! Hope I am still around when you get back sweetie!!!
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Giggles
Signs You're the Reincarnation of Someone Famous...
-During a thunderstorm, you build a giant boat and start stealing your neighbor's pets.
-When the boss criticizes your work, you hack off your right ear and mail it to him.
-Not only do you consider Yoko an artistic genius, you think she's beautiful and has a lovely singing voice.
-While working under the sink, you get this insatiable urge to paint a church ceiling.
-Out of luck winos are bringing you jugs of water.
-You're found writing down rules of the office on giant stone tablets.
Signs You're the Reincarnation of Someone Famous...
-During a thunderstorm, you build a giant boat and start stealing your neighbor's pets.
-When the boss criticizes your work, you hack off your right ear and mail it to him.
-Not only do you consider Yoko an artistic genius, you think she's beautiful and has a lovely singing voice.
-While working under the sink, you get this insatiable urge to paint a church ceiling.
-Out of luck winos are bringing you jugs of water.
-You're found writing down rules of the office on giant stone tablets.
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
kayte said:
Hi {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Great to see you too darlin!!!!
I am back for a little while....until time to fix dinner anyways....then i will have to fix dinner, and clean the kitchen and I will be ready for tomorrows inspection/housekeeping
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "aren't you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?"
"Yes, I am," said the officer.
"Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chief's uniform?"
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "aren't you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?"
"Yes, I am," said the officer.
"Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chief's uniform?"
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
The Texan and his V W
A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a
telephone in that Rolls?"
The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."
"I got one too... see?" the Texan says.
"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."
"You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan.
"Why, actually, yes, I do."
"I do too! See? It's right here!" brags the Texan.
The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?"
The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?"
"Yep, got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies.
The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car.
About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it.
The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.
(It's ok, the joke is CLEAN)
The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?"
"Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies the Texan, "What's up?"
"Check this out... I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."
The Texan exclaims
"YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?!"
A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a
telephone in that Rolls?"
The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."
"I got one too... see?" the Texan says.
"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."
"You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan.
"Why, actually, yes, I do."
"I do too! See? It's right here!" brags the Texan.
The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?"
The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?"
"Yep, got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies.
The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car.
About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it.
The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.
(It's ok, the joke is CLEAN)
The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?"
"Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies the Texan, "What's up?"
"Check this out... I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."
The Texan exclaims
"YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?!"
catsr2wild
Taking it easy
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2004
- Posts
- 40,268
Ok here is one for the day
Sorry folks I've been kind of out of it but hello an dgoodbye I'm on my way out the door but here is another one Mary....
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER................ >Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." > >Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. > >"They'll grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. > >I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over t! he years ?" > >Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" >He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man
Sorry folks I've been kind of out of it but hello an dgoodbye I'm on my way out the door but here is another one Mary....
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER................ >Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." > >Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. > >"They'll grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. > >I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over t! he years ?" > >Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" >He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man
bluesbeachboy
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2004
- Posts
- 103
Good evening there angels
How many good sexy looking ladieas are there in here from ohio?
How many good sexy looking ladieas are there in here from ohio?
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
MaryBears said:{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Hope your having an wonderful day.....It is a nice one here....I have been out and I even have my front door open (my only door in the apartment)......Nice beautiful weather and in a good mood....finally
{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}} Glad to hear that you are feeling better and that you have some nice weather. Weather has been nice here today, suppose to hit 50 tomorrow!!!! My day was busy, but good. Take care and enjoy the weather.
Hugs.........Puddin
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
Puddin36 said:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I know all about busy days......mine was busy today too.....I am so glad that I have it done though.....Tomorrow will be a day of relaxation hopefully....Take care and you enjoy the weather there too...
Hugs....makes the world go around
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
The Reasons I Love You
I love you,
Not only for what you are
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you
Not only for what
You have made of yourself
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For, putting your hand
Into my heaped up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you...
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.
I love you,
Not only for what you are
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you
Not only for what
You have made of yourself
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For, putting your hand
Into my heaped up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you...
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
What You Can Do With Vodka
1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves the adhesive.
2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.
6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziplock freezer bag, and freeze for a slushy, refreezable ice pack for aches, pain, or black eyes..
10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
11. Make your own mouthwash by mixing nine tablespoons powered cinnamon with one cup vodka. Seal in an airtight container for two weeks. Strain through a coffee filter. Mix with warm water and rinse your mouth. Don't swallow.
12. Using a q-tip, apply vodka to a cold sore to help it dry out.
13. If a blister opens, pour vodka over the raw skin as a local anesthetic that also disinfects the exposed dermis.
14. To treat dandruff, mix one cup vodka with two teaspoons crushed rosemary, let sit for two days, strain through a coffee filter and massage into your scalp and let dry.
15. To treat an earache put a few drops of vodka in your ear. Let set for a few minutes. Then drain. The vodka will kill the bacteria that is causing pain in your ear.
16. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
17. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
18. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
19. To remove cigarette smoke in your home or office mix one part vodka and three parts water and spray the clothing, then launder and let dry.
20. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.
21. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.
After reading this, can you believe that some people drink the stuff?
1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves the adhesive.
2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.
6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziplock freezer bag, and freeze for a slushy, refreezable ice pack for aches, pain, or black eyes..
10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
11. Make your own mouthwash by mixing nine tablespoons powered cinnamon with one cup vodka. Seal in an airtight container for two weeks. Strain through a coffee filter. Mix with warm water and rinse your mouth. Don't swallow.
12. Using a q-tip, apply vodka to a cold sore to help it dry out.
13. If a blister opens, pour vodka over the raw skin as a local anesthetic that also disinfects the exposed dermis.
14. To treat dandruff, mix one cup vodka with two teaspoons crushed rosemary, let sit for two days, strain through a coffee filter and massage into your scalp and let dry.
15. To treat an earache put a few drops of vodka in your ear. Let set for a few minutes. Then drain. The vodka will kill the bacteria that is causing pain in your ear.
16. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
17. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
18. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
19. To remove cigarette smoke in your home or office mix one part vodka and three parts water and spray the clothing, then launder and let dry.
20. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.
21. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.
After reading this, can you believe that some people drink the stuff?
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
MaryBears said:
Good morning {{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}} Sorry you were roused that way and not by someone snuggling next to you.
Hope your day is a good one sweetie.
A little chuckle:
Getting Rid of the Bats
Three pastors were having lunch in a diner.
One said, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away."
Another said, "Me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."
The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one back since!"
- Status
Similar threads
