The Bears Den
- Thread starter MaryBears
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MaryBears
Literotica Guru
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kayte said:Good morning {{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}} Sorry you were roused that way and not by someone snuggling next to you.
Hope your day is a good one sweetie.
A little chuckle:
Getting Rid of the Bats
Three pastors were having lunch in a diner.
One said, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away."
Another said, "Me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."
The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one back since!"
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Good Morning.
I just woke back up.....I took a two hour nap....
Thanks for the chuckles.....
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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MaryBears said:{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Good Morning.
I just woke back up.....I took a two hour nap....
Thanks for the chuckles.....
Glad to hear you were able to get back to sleep sweetie!! Have an awesome day!!!!
catsr2wild
Taking it easy
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I know this one is old but I love it....
Subject: The flying nun
> > >A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE AIRPORT, WAITING ON HER FLIGHT TO CHICAGO.
> > >
> > >SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES
> > >THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE, AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, "I'LL GIVE IT A
> > >TRY AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME."
> > >
> > >SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT HER
> > >NICKEL IN, AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU
> > >WEIGH 128 LBS AND YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO"
> > >
> > >THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN. SHE TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY
> > >GIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT
> > >IT, THE MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT, SO SHE DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN.
> > >
> > >SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE AND AGAIN PUT HER NICKEL
> > >IN, AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128
> > >LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE."
> > >
> > >THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, "I KNOW THAT IS WRONG, I HAVE NEVER PLAYED
> > >A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT A DAY IN MY LIFE."
> > >
> > >SHE SAT BACK DOWN. FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER AND SAT
> > >DOWN, PUTTING HIS FIDDLE CASE IN THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM. WITHOUT
> > >THINKING, SHE OPENED THE COWBOY'S CASE, TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE, AND
> > >STARTED PLAYING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC.
> > >
> > >SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE MACHINE,
> > >THINKING, "THIS IS INCREDIBLE, I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN."
> > >
> > >BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER
> > >CARD CAME OUT. IT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE
> > >GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND."
> > >
> > >NOW SHE KNOWS THE MACHINE IS WRONG, AS SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF,
> > >"I'VE NEVER BROKE WIND IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE", BUT
> > >GETTING DOWN OFF THE MACHINE SHE SLIPPED, AND AS SHE WAS
STRAINING TO KEEP HERSELF FROM FALLING IN THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND
> > >
> > >ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND LOOKED AT THE MACHINE.
> > >SHE SAID TO HERSELF, "THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE! I HAVE GOT TO TRY
> > >THIS AGAIN."
> > >
> > >SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER
> > >CARD CAME OUT. IT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU
> > >HAVE FIDDLED AND FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CHICAGO."
Subject: The flying nun
> > >A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE AIRPORT, WAITING ON HER FLIGHT TO CHICAGO.
> > >
> > >SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES
> > >THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE, AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, "I'LL GIVE IT A
> > >TRY AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME."
> > >
> > >SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT HER
> > >NICKEL IN, AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU
> > >WEIGH 128 LBS AND YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO"
> > >
> > >THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN. SHE TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY
> > >GIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT
> > >IT, THE MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT, SO SHE DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN.
> > >
> > >SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE AND AGAIN PUT HER NICKEL
> > >IN, AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128
> > >LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE."
> > >
> > >THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, "I KNOW THAT IS WRONG, I HAVE NEVER PLAYED
> > >A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT A DAY IN MY LIFE."
> > >
> > >SHE SAT BACK DOWN. FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER AND SAT
> > >DOWN, PUTTING HIS FIDDLE CASE IN THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM. WITHOUT
> > >THINKING, SHE OPENED THE COWBOY'S CASE, TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE, AND
> > >STARTED PLAYING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC.
> > >
> > >SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE MACHINE,
> > >THINKING, "THIS IS INCREDIBLE, I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN."
> > >
> > >BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER
> > >CARD CAME OUT. IT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE
> > >GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND."
> > >
> > >NOW SHE KNOWS THE MACHINE IS WRONG, AS SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF,
> > >"I'VE NEVER BROKE WIND IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE", BUT
> > >GETTING DOWN OFF THE MACHINE SHE SLIPPED, AND AS SHE WAS
STRAINING TO KEEP HERSELF FROM FALLING IN THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND
> > >
> > >ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND LOOKED AT THE MACHINE.
> > >SHE SAID TO HERSELF, "THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE! I HAVE GOT TO TRY
> > >THIS AGAIN."
> > >
> > >SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER
> > >CARD CAME OUT. IT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU
> > >HAVE FIDDLED AND FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CHICAGO."
catsr2wild
Taking it easy
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- 40,268
Palleon said:
Tired i worked last night and haven't been to bed yet... and you?
Love the new AV....
Palleon
At your service
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- Posts
- 6,480
catsr2wild said:Tired i worked last night and haven't been to bed yet... and you?
Love the new AV....
My day is going good.
Thanks, I believe more men should be on their knees for their women.
Maybe you need to curl up with your hubby and let him hold you as you drift off to sleep.
But I bet he is at work.
It is always nice to see you
catsr2wild
Taking it easy
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- 40,268
Palleon said:
Well thank you and I always appreciate a good compliment...as for hubby he went to school and his mom's......
catsr2wild
Taking it easy
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Palleon said:
I've done midnights for about a year it took some getting use to but it isn't for everyone....
catsr2wild
Taking it easy
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Hers another one folks...
Subject: The Drunk
>
>
>>A good-ole-boy staggered home late after another evening with his
>drinking
>>buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as
>quietly as
>>he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but
>misjudged
>>the bottom step in the darkened entryway. As he caught himself by
grabbing
>the
>>banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.
>>
>>A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
>especially
>>painful. Managing to suppress a yelp, he sprung up, pulled down his
pants
>and
>>examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks in a mirror of a nearby
>darkened
>>hallway, then managed to find a large full box of band-aids before
>proceeding
>>to place a patch as best he could on each place he saw blood. After
>hiding
>>the now almost empty box, he managed to shuffle and stumble his way to
>bed.
>>
>>Morning, he awakens with screaming pain in head and butt to find his
wife
>>staring at him from across the room, and hears her say: "You were drunk
>again
>>last night!!!" Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at
>her
>>and replied: "Now, Hon, why would you say such a mean thing?"
>>
>>"Well," she said, "there is the front door left open, the glass at the
>>bottom of the stairs, the drops of blood trailing through the house,
and
>your
>>bloodshot eyes but, mostly it's all those band-aids stuck on the
>downstairs
>>mirror!"
Subject: The Drunk
>
>
>>A good-ole-boy staggered home late after another evening with his
>drinking
>>buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as
>quietly as
>>he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but
>misjudged
>>the bottom step in the darkened entryway. As he caught himself by
grabbing
>the
>>banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.
>>
>>A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
>especially
>>painful. Managing to suppress a yelp, he sprung up, pulled down his
pants
>and
>>examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks in a mirror of a nearby
>darkened
>>hallway, then managed to find a large full box of band-aids before
>proceeding
>>to place a patch as best he could on each place he saw blood. After
>hiding
>>the now almost empty box, he managed to shuffle and stumble his way to
>bed.
>>
>>Morning, he awakens with screaming pain in head and butt to find his
wife
>>staring at him from across the room, and hears her say: "You were drunk
>again
>>last night!!!" Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at
>her
>>and replied: "Now, Hon, why would you say such a mean thing?"
>>
>>"Well," she said, "there is the front door left open, the glass at the
>>bottom of the stairs, the drops of blood trailing through the house,
and
>your
>>bloodshot eyes but, mostly it's all those band-aids stuck on the
>downstairs
>>mirror!"
catsr2wild
Taking it easy
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- Jan 15, 2004
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- 40,268
Palleon said:
Thanks I'll try...
Blue Dolphin
Back home again
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Blue Dolphin
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Blue Dolphin
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Blue Dolphin
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Blue Dolphin
Back home again
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Blue Dolphin
Back home again
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Blue Dolphin
Back home again
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