The Bears Den

[FRENCHIE44T]

Frenchie Yes this weather sucks.....it is cold and snowing here....I want spring or summer....*pouts*

Well, thanks for that MaryBears, when it clears your East Coast it usually comes across the Atlantic to us. OMG

 

[MaryBears]

Well, thanks for that MaryBears, when it clears your East Coast it usually comes across the Atlantic to us. OMG

Well, your welcome Frenchie.....and why are you OMG for....

 

[FRENCHIE44T]

Well, your welcome Frenchie.....and why are you OMG for....

At the thought of the snow coming over here B4 christmas

 

[MaryBears]

At the thought of the snow coming over here B4 christmas

awwwwwwwwwwww I see......I don't want no snow..... I want sunshine and breezy.....but I don't get what I want do I??????????????

 

[FRENCHIE44T]

awwwwwwwwwwww I see......I don't want no snow..... I want sunshine and breezy.....but I don't get what I want do I??????????????

wouldn't mind a bit of sun myself

 

[MaryBears]

wouldn't mind a bit of sun myself

Ok where is everyone out partying......didn't tell me about it

 

[Missingmeds]

A Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

That was some brothel, he said with a smile,
The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile.

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!

 

[kayte]

A Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

That was some brothel, he said with a smile,
The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile.

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!

Thank you for posting that!!! It is great!!!

Hope you are having a great weekend.

 

[PassionsFlame]

Thanks Passions.......Hope you have a great one too....


By the way....the pic that didn't post right....i am posting it in a way that you can see it...

I had a nice Thanksgiving~ thanks Mary~ I Love that picture lol!

 

[kayte]

American History

Good evening everyone!!!

Hope it was a marvelous holiday weekend!!!

Here is a funny for all of us too.

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death?' " She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.

"Now," said the teacher, "who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?' " Again there was no response except from Toshiba. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do." As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper, "Damned Japanese." "Who said that?" she demanded. Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Avoca, 1982," he said.

At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed and said, "I'm gonna throw up."Teacher said, "Who said that?" Again, Toshiba raised his hand and said, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Well suck my dick!" Once again, it was Toshiba with the answer, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."

 

[PassionsFlame]

Sending out the Sunshine!!!
http://www.chitambo.com/clouds/cloudsimages/other/crep_botswana_may95.jpg

 

[MaryBears]

A Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

That was some brothel, he said with a smile,
The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile.

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!

Thanks Missing.....Never heard that one....I liked it....hehe....

 

[MaryBears]

Thank you for posting that!!! It is great!!!

Hope you are having a great weekend.

{{{{{{{{katie}}}}}}}}}}}} hello....so good to see you......

Here is some jokes for you all


Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to have turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" "I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter, something or other...."
-----------------------------------------------------
PINOCCHIO
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain About splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
RED RIDING HOOD Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

MICKEY MOUSE
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court And the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."

 

[MaryBears]

I had a nice Thanksgiving~ thanks Mary~ I Love that picture lol!

Hey (((((((((passions)))))))))))))) glad you had a good thanksgiving....and thanks ...i liked it to


Here is another joke:

Subject: Because I'm A Man..... Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't, know where to start." We will then drink a beer.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
-------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how could he know where we're going?
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars, or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it---looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2003, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
----------------------------------------------
This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male

 

[MaryBears]

Re: American History

Good evening everyone!!!

Hope it was a marvelous holiday weekend!!!

Here is a funny for all of us too.

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death?' " She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.

"Now," said the teacher, "who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?' " Again there was no response except from Toshiba. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do." As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper, "Damned Japanese." "Who said that?" she demanded. Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Avoca, 1982," he said.

At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed and said, "I'm gonna throw up."Teacher said, "Who said that?" Again, Toshiba raised his hand and said, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Well suck my dick!" Once again, it was Toshiba with the answer, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."

ROFLMAO.......that was a good one.....I loved it

 

[Missingmeds]

I like those MaryBears. Here is hoping that everyone had a good holiday, and that this coming week is good too.

 

[MaryBears]

I like those MaryBears. Here is hoping that everyone had a good holiday, and that this coming week is good too.

Thanks Missing.....


OMG this not being able to sleep sucks.....I sleep a whole 2 hours last night and napped a hour at my parents...........night before that it was 4 hours sleep....and night before that was 3 hours....:| i am going to be a walking zombie

 

[PassionsFlame]

Thanks Missing.....


OMG this not being able to sleep sucks.....I sleep a whole 2 hours last night and napped a hour at my parents...........night before that it was 4 hours sleep....and night before that was 3 hours....:| i am going to be a walking zombie

Hi Mary~ so sorry to hear about the sleeping problems. I can understand somewhat... right now, though, been more sluggish~ blame it on my winter hibernating instinct Is it medication causing it? Or worry? *HUGGGGGGS* You take care and I hope this resolves itself and you can get some real rest SOON!!

 

[kayte]

Re: Re: American History

ROFLMAO.......that was a good one.....I loved it

Hope {{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}} won't get too mad at me for this!!!!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY!!!!!

Hoping all of your dreams come true. Wishing you laughter and love.

 

[MaryBears]

Hi Mary~ so sorry to hear about the sleeping problems. I can understand somewhat... right now, though, been more sluggish~ blame it on my winter hibernating instinct Is it medication causing it? Or worry? *HUGGGGGGS* You take care and I hope this resolves itself and you can get some real rest SOON!!

Hi Passions~~~ thanks.....It is a combination of alot of things.....I have so many health problems that....and sometimes I am not sure if I am coming or going sometimes.....When I had the stomach virus last weekend all I did was sleep....thus my sleep got really disturbed....just can't get back in wack....*hugs*

 

[MaryBears]

Re: Re: Re: American History

Hope {{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}} won't get too mad at me for this!!!!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY!!!!!

Hoping all of your dreams come true. Wishing you laughter and love.

No {{{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I won't get mad at you......Thanks I really appreciate it.....

 

[PassionsFlame]

http://www.easthillcofc.org/justforkids/images/wpe46.gif
Ohhhh Happy Birthday Mary of the Bears!!!
*HHHHUUGGGGGGLLLESSSSS*

 

[MaryBears]

http://www.easthillcofc.org/justforkids/images/wpe46.gif
Ohhhh Happy Birthday Mary of the Bears!!!
*HHHHUUGGGGGGLLLESSSSS*

Thanks Passions..... I loved that bear.....I saved it to my harddrive.....I absolutely love bears....I got two new ones for my birthday....... *Huggles*

 

[PassionsFlame]

http://store5.yimg.com/I/incrediblegifts_1764_14928234

 

[MaryBears]

This is what I need..........

Hope it works