The Bears Den

[kayte]

Hi Pall


I am a lil better.....still moving really slow......using my cane for support.....don't need another fall........Went to the dr.....She said that it will take a long time to heal cause i did a really good job on the fall......she said if it don't get a little better everyday then to call them back....Eventually the bruise will work its' way down my leg to my ankle......So time will tell...Just have to watch what I do.

Oh {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}!!!

I am happy you were able to see your doctor, and so sorry to hear you did such a number on yourself.

Sounds to me like you need to keep your leg up. What did she say about the warm water at the exercise pool?

Hugs and Kisses and Snuzzles, but all gentle as I watch out for your ouchie!!!

 

[MaryBears]

Re: Re: Re: How Many Does it Take? Part 2

Hi Cats, I am feeling a little under the weather. Nice to see you ask about me

Hun so sorry to hear your not feeling well......Here is a cup of chicken noodle soup and a cup of hot tea......*hugs* and a kiss to get well by

 

[MaryBears]

Oh {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}!!!

I am happy you were able to see your doctor, and so sorry to hear you did such a number on yourself.

Sounds to me like you need to keep your leg up. What did she say about the warm water at the exercise pool?

Hugs and Kisses and Snuzzles, but all gentle as I watch out for your ouchie!!!

{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


NO pool until the cut on my knee cap heals some.......she said possibly by Monday of next week......told me to put antibiotic ointment on my cut.....which I already did....(ER doctor didn't tell me to put anything on it).....So I will see what it looks like on Monday and if the cut is healing well I will go get in the hot water pool.....She said the pool will help it but not with the cut

 

[Palleon]

Re: Re: Re: Re: How Many Does it Take? Part 2

Hun so sorry to hear your not feeling well......Here is a cup of chicken noodle soup and a cup of hot tea......*hugs* and a kiss to get well by

I had that for lunch, thanks Mary.

I think tomorrow I will be fine. Hope you are feeling better too

 

[MaryBears]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How Many Does it Take? Part 2

I had that for lunch, thanks Mary.

I think tomorrow I will be fine. Hope you are feeling better too

Thanks Pall.....and your most welcome


As for myself, a lil better, and I realize it will take me some time cause i took a hard fall.....Concrete don't give and it always wins....Dr said today good thing I didn't hit my face against it...That would have been devestating

 

[MaryBears]

LMAO.....HEHE


Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood, one from Georgia, the other from Alabama, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion.

The Georgia peach said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me." The lady from Alabama commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman continued "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac you see parked in the drive." Again, the belle from Alabama commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the second of the ladies commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" "My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Bama belle.

"Charm school!" the first woman cried, "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"

The Alabamian responded, "So that instead of saying, "who gives a shit", I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice?"

 

[kayte]

LMAO.....HEHE


Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood, one from Georgia, the other from Alabama, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion.

The Georgia peach said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me." The lady from Alabama commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman continued "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac you see parked in the drive." Again, the belle from Alabama commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the second of the ladies commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" "My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Bama belle.

"Charm school!" the first woman cried, "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"

The Alabamian responded, "So that instead of saying, "who gives a shit", I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice?"

LMAO!!! That is a great one. Thank you for putting it up Mary.

Hope you are getting the rest you need love.

 

[MaryBears]

Funeral Procession ! !

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she
noticed a most
unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet
behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash.
Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand her curiosity.

She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so
sorry for your loss,
and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral
like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's.”

"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband
when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."

 

[kayte]

Funeral Procession ! !

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she
noticed a most
unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet
behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash.
Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand her curiosity.

She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so
sorry for your loss,
and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral
like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's.”

"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband
when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Thank you Mary!!!

 

[MaryBears]

LMAO!!! That is a great one. Thank you for putting it up Mary.

Hope you are getting the rest you need love.

Your very welcome Kayte.....


Yes I am getting rest....I took two naps today....a 2 hour one and a 4 hour one.....oh I probably won't sleep tonight but oh well so much for life......But it felt great sleeping....

 

[MaryBears]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Thank you Mary!!!

Your very welcome Kayte !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MaryBears]

HUMOR FROM THE FEMININE POINT OF VIEW
If this offends anyone then I am most sorry ,but it was to funny not to
share with ya all ,

Irish


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
_______________________
A couple is lying in bed.. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest
woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
_______________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
the
shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the
lawn
like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_______________________
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit
on the sofa and fart.
_______________________
He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
______________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
_________________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a
very
special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!

AND THE BEST ONE YET...

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
* She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
* Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
* And her husband is on the back of the milk carton

A PRAYER....
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

 

[Palleon]

LOL, no offense taken.

Good morning

 

[MaryBears]

LOL, no offense taken.

Good morning

Good Morning Pall


How are you feeling today....I do hope better.....You take care of yourself

 

[Palleon]

Good Morning Pall


How are you feeling today....I do hope better.....You take care of yourself

I am feeling better, thanks

 

[MaryBears]

I am feeling better, thanks

I am so glad to hear that.....

 

[MaryBears]

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down
the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead
happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying
me flowers again."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's
the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"

The redhead says, "Oh sure, but he always has
expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't
feel like spending the next three days on my back
with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

 

[catsr2wild]

church gossip

Hi everyone! Hope you're all doing well, glad to see everybody is moving a little better and/or feeling better today...since everybody else has been funny this morning I'm going to try to send a joke here and see if I'm doing this right.....if I'm not it may look funny because the joke didn't come through, so its funny either way...

Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away.

He didn't explain, defend, or deny, he said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house and left it there all night.

 

[Palleon]

Those have been some good jokes. I hope you dont mind if I park my car at your house cats

 

[catsr2wild]

Those have been some good jokes. I hope you dont mind if I park my car at your house cats

of course not...park away

 

[Hodnett]

Great jokes!!!!

Love them all, and no offense taken Cat.
One of my favorites, old but good:

This little by liked playing in his mom's closet. One day while in there he heard his mom with someone in the bed room. He waited quietly.
Suddenly the front door slams and his dad yells" Surprise I'm home early." Bang this guy's in the closet with him.
Little boy says " Sure is dark in here."
"SHHHH" says the guy.
Little boy:"Mister would you like to buy my teddy bear?"
G: "NO. Be quiet."
LB: "Bet my dad would like to buy my teddy bear"
G: "OK, how much?"
LB: "$50"
G: "Thats rediculous"
LB: "Bet my dad would...."
G: "OK OK, Here"
He pays and slips out with the teddy bear.
Next day Mom is cleaning house and notices the bear is gone.
"What happened to your bear?"
"I sold it."
"You did, for how much?"
Little boy proudly proclaims "50 bucks"
Mom : "For that old bear, that's like stealing"
"You're going to confession."
This was his something new to him.
At he church she puts in in the confessional and shuts the door.
He sits there a second in the dark.
Then he says" Sure is dark in here."
This voice comes thru the wall "DON"T START THAT SHIT AGAIN!"



Kind of long one, hope you enjoy it
H

 

[MaryBears]

Re: church gossip

Hi everyone! Hope you're all doing well, glad to see everybody is moving a little better and/or feeling better today...since everybody else has been funny this morning I'm going to try to send a joke here and see if I'm doing this right.....if I'm not it may look funny because the joke didn't come through, so its funny either way...

Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away.

He didn't explain, defend, or deny, he said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house and left it there all night.

(((((((((((((Cats)))))))))))))))))) that is so funny.....i have seen it before and everytime I still get a good chuckle...thanks for sharing....

 

[catsr2wild]

Re: Great jokes!!!!

Love them all, and no offense taken Cat.
One of my favorites, old but good:

This little by liked playing in his mom's closet. One day while in there he heard his mom with someone in the bed room. He waited quietly.
Suddenly the front door slams and his dad yells" Surprise I'm home early." Bang this guy's in the closet with him.
Little boy says " Sure is dark in here."
"SHHHH" says the guy.
Little boy:"Mister would you like to buy my teddy bear?"
G: "NO. Be quiet."
LB: "Bet my dad would like to buy my teddy bear"
G: "OK, how much?"
LB: "$50"
G: "Thats rediculous"
LB: "Bet my dad would...."
G: "OK OK, Here"
He pays and slips out with the teddy bear.
Next day Mom is cleaning house and notices the bear is gone.
"What happened to your bear?"
"I sold it."
"You did, for how much?"
Little boy proudly proclaims "50 bucks"
Mom : "For that old bear, that's like stealing"
"You're going to confession."
This was his something new to him.
At he church she puts in in the confessional and shuts the door.
He sits there a second in the dark.
Then he says" Sure is dark in here."
This voice comes thru the wall "DON"T START THAT SHIT AGAIN!"



Kind of long one, hope you enjoy it
H

that was good! lol oh yeah, Hi Hodnett...

 

[MaryBears]

Those have been some good jokes. I hope you dont mind if I park my car at your house cats

Good afternoon Pall.....Hope your having an awesome day.... mmmmmmm a dancing of a different sort sure would be good

 

[catsr2wild]

Re: Re: church gossip

(((((((((((((Cats)))))))))))))))))) that is so funny.....i have seen it before and everytime I still get a good chuckle...thanks for sharing....

Thank you Mary I'm learning how to insert this stuff now so maaybe I can post some more....