The Homosexual Agenda

[doormouse]

I remember watching 'Fat Cat and Friends' until he was taken off the air for being a child molester.

Go figure.

 

[Guest]

Growing up Mexican-Catholic in Detroit I lived too insular a life to even have a vague notion about the gays, but I do remember being disturbed by Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Finally as a h.s. senior one of the wackier nuns broke the ice and warned us about 'particular friendships'. So I ran off and got married as soon as I could.

Perdita

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Finally as a h.s. senior one of the wackier nuns broke the ice and warned us about 'particular friendships'.

See, no one warned me about this. Look at me, I've become a raving bisexual. Where were the after-school specials!?

 

[Guest]

Growing up Mexican-Catholic in Detroit I lived too insular a life to even have a vague notion about the gays, but I do remember being disturbed by Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Finally as a h.s. senior one of the wackier nuns broke the ice and warned us about 'particular friendships'. So I ran off and got married as soon as I could.

Perdita

I did the very same thing but I dare say, for vastly different reasons.

 

[shereads]

Finally as a h.s. senior one of the wackier nuns broke the ice and warned us about 'particular friendships'. So I ran off and got married as soon as I could.

A wise move. According to this month's Heartland America Guide to the Homosexual Agenda, lesbians have two primary targets for Seduction/Conversion: unmarried Catholic women and women without toaster ovens. Married, you were safe. You have a toaster oven now, right?

 

[Guest]

You have a toaster oven now, right?

Oh yeah, but I'm a consistently lapsing Catholic and have three ex-husbands. Go figure. However, my last fuck was by a person with a real penis (though he does have some faggy tendencies).

Perdita

 

[NoJo]

Oh yeah, but I'm a consistently lapsing Catholic and have three ex-husbands. Go figure. However, my last fuck was by a person with a real penis (though he does have some faggy tendencies).

Perdita

Was he a consistently lisping Catholic?

 

[cloudy]

Was he a consistently lisping Catholic?

That's only in Castillian Spanish, Joe.

 

[Somme]

What IS a 'toaster' oven?

 

[Liar]

What IS a 'toaster' oven?

Where'd you think toasters came from? The stork?

 

[thebullet]

I personally have always been very suspicious of Mr. Rogers.

And what's with the sweater, anyway?

 

[Pure]

ok, fun only, my son used to love Spongebob, and even I got to like playing 'crabbie patties' with him.

 

[NoJo]

PLEASE don't tell me or my son how to play "crabby patties."

 

[lucky-E-leven]

The real homosexual agenda unmasked!

9 a.m. Roll over and hit the snooze alarm for five more minutes.

9:05 am. Turn off alarm.

9:35 am. Begin getting out of bed, slowly and leisurely.

10 am. Warm, sensuous bath in Jacuzzi with partner.

11 am. Breakfast on two croissants, fresh baked, with plenty of butter and chocolate spread.

11:30 am. Dress.

12 pm. Shop.

1:30 pm. Lunch out. Tea, salad, and bread.

2 pm. Link with the Rosicrucians, Illuminati, New World Order, New Agers, Murphy Brown, and the Zionist Elders to do the following:
--Take over all world governments
--Stamp out Christianity
--Get rid of any protections for kids
--Make all people wear tasteful clothes

2:15 pm. Take a walk down by the lake with partner. Take bread along to feed the ducks and geese.

3 pm. Go home. Tuck up in comfy chair and continue reading book of Moliere plays (in French).

4 pm. Play with dogs outside.

6 pm. Dine on pork chops en casserole, with white wine and cinnamon apples.

9 pm. Recline between silky sheets in bed with partner.

10 pm. Sleep.

Where are all the orgies?

~lucky

 

[cantdog]

bah, they're all squishy. Give me something like Bob The Builder anyday. Now there's a straight children's show for ya.

Yep. Straight arrow Bob.

 

[Guest]

Was he a consistently lisping Catholic?

Nah, he's a gringo, but I like the notion of a lisp. I'll work on 'im.

Perdita

p.s. do you lisp? If so, would you lisp for me sometime?

 

[Somme]

Where'd you think toasters came from? The stork?

No, only 'toastees' come from the stork...(I thought everyone knew that)

I've just never heard of a 'toaster' oven, damnit.

 

[Liar]

Where are all the orgies?

~lucky

At my place. All kinds welcome.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

At my place. All kinds welcome.

Be right over.


(By all kinds, you don't mean teletubbies and cartoon characters, do you?)

~lucky

 

[Liar]

Be right over.


(By all kinds, you don't mean teletubbies and cartoon characters, do you?)

~lucky

I'm pretty tolerant. But I draw the line at Teletubbies.

No cartoon characters? Are you saying you wouldn't do Betty Boop?

 

[shereads]

What IS a 'toaster' oven?

It's a toaster, but it's also an oven. It's two appliances in one! In the USA, straight women get a free toaster oven if they agree to become lesbians.

 

[Belegon]

I'm pretty tolerant. But I draw the line at Teletubbies.

No cartoon characters? Are you saying you wouldn't do Betty Boop?

Lucky dressed as Betty Boop.


Wow!!!

I'm happily stunned at that visual.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I'm pretty tolerant. But I draw the line at Teletubbies.

No cartoon characters? Are you saying you wouldn't do Betty Boop?

I'm afraid to answer that. You know we're being monitored right now.

Also, WTF? I didn't get a toaster oven!

~lucky

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Lucky dressed as Betty Boop.


Wow!!!

I'm happily stunned at that visual.

I'd much prefer to be Jessica Rabbit if I had to be animated, but I think my all-time fall back for animated women is Aeon Flux.



~lucky

 

[rgraham666]

Lucky, you can have mine.

There was a mixup down at the World Homosexual Conquest Secret Headquarters (2700 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington D.C. 54876).

They sent me one. No reason that I know of.

It's all yours.