The LIT Swingers Club

[IsItBad]

maybe

maybe your marriage is positioned to endure the inevitable jealousy and confusion

it sounds fun, is fun, and is super hot - right up to the point where one or the other discovers some chemistry with someone that far exceeds the chemistry you have with each other

im not raining on the parade.....i just know that in many many cases that i have had first hand experience with.....one partner or the other became unexpectedly emotionally involved in a way that hurt and in some cases ruined the original relationship

i think, as is true with most relationship issues, communication is the grease that keeps the train on the tracks.....you need to talk about it .....but you also need to be monitoring your own self.....if you intend to stay happily married

just 2 cents and i understand, like, and get the erotic aspect of it......i just know that most people may not be emotionally equipped to navigate through the myriad of feelings

 

[investor]

"What to do?"

Liz, I think you answered your own question . . . "This was all about sharing together. Not going our separate ways and having separate fun."

I believe you also have said that trust between you and your husband is paramount to your relationship . . . do not do anything that may impinge on that bind. To enjoy getting together with the other couple again, you must find a way to involve your husband . . . not just with that couple, but in a larger grouping (like the first) that would likely permit you to enjoy being with the couple by yourself again, but as a part of an evening of sharing partners and one that allows your husband to participate in the permutations that occur.

Just a thought from an impartial observer.

 

[fifty5]

maybe your marriage is positioned to endure the inevitable jealousy and confusion

it sounds fun, is fun, and is super hot - right up to the point where one or the other discovers some chemistry with someone that far exceeds the chemistry you have with each other

im not raining on the parade.....i just know that in many many cases that i have had first hand experience with.....one partner or the other became unexpectedly emotionally involved in a way that hurt and in some cases ruined the original relationship

i think, as is true with most relationship issues, communication is the grease that keeps the train on the tracks.....you need to talk about it .....but you also need to be monitoring your own self.....if you intend to stay happily married

just 2 cents and i understand, like, and get the erotic aspect of it......i just know that most people may not be emotionally equipped to navigate through the myriad of feelings

I dispute that, "most people", but would accept, "some people", could it be your own input to such happenings was the factor which made things go wrong? (I don't say it was, just ask the question.)

More I dispute that jealousy and confusion are inevitable.

My experience over half a century of marriage has been that the crucial factors are love and trust between both spouses and talking about it before it happens is essential to build that trust!

Given that trust, jealousy and confusion are redundant!

As far as love goes, you either do or you don't, if you don't your relationship is already at risk! If you do, and discuss what can make swinging or swapping safe and agree on appropriate conditions for yourselves, it is OK. (e.g. My wife and I agreed we had to ask permission for each new lover - that gave us the ability to veto anyone 'dodgy' [on any grounds at all], but the wish to get permission granted next time we wanted it, made us willing to be liberal about giving our OK in any/every single case.)

Best wishes,

 

[iaabanag]

Well, things just got a little complicated.

We got invited to another party. Except only I was invited.

Ugh.

What to do? What to do?

Woopsies, tricky situation. Would say your hubby needs to be part of this, at least the conversation. I am sure he would hate to say no to a similar invite as well and there are chances it may happen but we'll communication is probably the key. Just my two cents !

 

[nkycatsfan]

We used to swing (mix of friends and strangers found on swinger sites). It was hot and fun. I personally still fantasize about doing it again, but the thing to watch out for is when another party latches on and wants it to become more than just fucking.

My wife and I had a foursome with another couple that, while smoking hot, ultimately killed it for my wife going forward. We were invited over for one of her friends' birthday. She and her husband, as the night progressed, insisted that we crash there and sleep on the pull out couch and kept feeding us some STRONG margaritas. It turned out to be a plan - they wanted to swing with us, but had no idea we had already done it before and thought they'd need to loosen us up a good bit.

One moment when my wife went to use the restroom, the wife half/birthday girl looked at me and point blank asks "has she ever been with another girl?" and I answered honestly - yes, but the turn on for her is moreso messing with the other girl to get a rise out of the guys in the room. She comes back in and immediately the other husband whispers something in my wife's ear that made her smile and giggle and her friend says "You know what I want for my birthday? I want to eat your pussy" - my wife smiles, stands up, drops her panties and pulls her skirt up and bends over the table....and it was on from there. One of the hottest nights we've had with swinging. Then, when we woke up, we couldn't find my wife's bra and went home without it. It turned out to be another little plan as they had taken it for the excuse of bringing it back later that weekend (Sunday night of Labor Day weekend) for another "hang out" so to speak. They flanked her on the couch and had a blanket over their laps...I realized that they were both fingering her when she threw her head back and moaned.

We had another night of fun with them...then the bomb drops. The friend/other wife had become obsessed with my wife. Like, to the point of telling her husband that she would never leave him for another another man, but WOULD leave him for her. She clearly expressed that level of interest in the following weeks and my wife just blew it off, trying to casually make it clear that she is only interested in girl on girl to turn the guys on, etc. After a couple of months of not showing that same level of interest, her friend (hell, her husband even warned me that she was going to do it and tried to get me to convince my wife to play along a LITTLE with it) ended the friendship in the most spiteful way. It's made any other opportunities to add people MUCH more difficult - we've had a few threesomes since, when drinking with a friend and it just happens, but her guard is up almost 24/7 because of that bad fallout from the MFMF experience.

 

[LizVegas79]

Thank you so much everyone for your comments and suggestions!

Yes, like many of you suggested and/or suspected, I've decided to tap the brakes as they say on this particular situation/invitation. I'm not going to play without my husband or behind his back for all the many reasons you all mentioned. Trust and communication and commitment being the main ones I feel are necessary to make these kinds of relationships work.

My decision was not particularly well-received by my "new best friend" - she seems to be taking it personally, which suggests to me that something else is going on. She has confessed (several times) that she "really likes" me and I'm beginning to think that's not the good thing I initially thought it was. Her and her husband have issues. But I'm not interested in being the clue that keeps them together. Or the wedge that drives them apart.

Messy, messy, messy - and not in the good way

 

[nkycatsfan]

Thank you so much everyone for your comments and suggestions!

Yes, like many of you suggested and/or suspected, I've decided to tap the brakes as they say on this particular situation/invitation. I'm not going to play without my husband or behind his back for all the many reasons you all mentioned. Trust and communication and commitment being the main ones I feel are necessary to make these kinds of relationships work.

My decision was not particularly well-received by my "new best friend" - she seems to be taking it personally, which suggests to me that something else is going on. She has confessed (several times) that she "really likes" me and I'm beginning to think that's not the good thing I initially thought it was. Her and her husband have issues. But I'm not interested in being the clue that keeps them together. Or the wedge that drives them apart.

Messy, messy, messy - and not in the good way

Yeah. See my story in the post above this one. Very similar. Other woman became obsessed with my wife. It really killed a lot of the lifestyle for us as my wife is now always has her guard up to prevent a repeat bad experience

 

[LizVegas79]

Yeah. See my story in the post above this one. Very similar. Other woman became obsessed with my wife. It really killed a lot of the lifestyle for us as my wife is now always has her guard up to prevent a repeat bad experience

Oh I read your post and it made me exactly think of my what might be actually underlying my current situation!

I mean, I am flattered. And I am attracted to them both. Especially her. But, she has gotten a little too close too quick for my comfort.

In a larger party situation like before where my husband can be off enjoying himself I'm perfectly happy to be mean to her husband with her. We can even finish him off early so that we have more time to play together with him just watching.

But yeah, she could ruin it for me if she stays as clingy as she's been. She sure does look cute in her cocktail waitress uniform though. It wasn't easy keeping a little distance from her this past weekend when we were both back at work and NOT both crazy busy all the time.

Her latest proposal is playing with my husband and I without her husband being present. (she supposedly already has his permission but I haven't been able to verify that for myself yet). I have to admit that is very tempting but I'm worried it might just further complicate our dynamic. My husband even agrees. Sort of. He really enjoyed being with her the first time and she really enjoyed being with him too. And the idea of her eating me out after my husband cums inside of me, well, that just sets my Latina blood on fire and I totally stop thinking it's such a bad idea

Messy, messy, messy ....

 

[Cobra6813]

Liz

That last scenario may work for you. Since the other husband is submissive, it appears his wife is trying to cuck her him with you and your hubby. She'll leave him home and when she returns ,tell him all the details.

It is smart to keep your radar up about ppl getting too clingy and emotionally involved. Its all about fun and sex.

 

[nkycatsfan]

Liz

That last scenario may work for you. Since the other husband is submissive, it appears his wife is trying to cuck her him with you and your hubby. She'll leave him home and when she returns ,tell him all the details.

It is smart to keep your radar up about ppl getting too clingy and emotionally involved. Its all about fun and sex.

This. Absolutely. If she has the green light to play alone, that's between her and her husband (I'd make sure communication is clear on that one so it doesn't turn into drama after). Just be on guard that it doesn't progress any further with the wife who seems to have hinted at getting more attached to you than she should. The end for us in that same scenario was bad enough that my wife lost all interest in looking for this type of fun and it's become VERY few and far between for us (basically has to be a perfect storm scenario now)

 

[LizVegas79]

Liz

That last scenario may work for you. Since the other husband is submissive, it appears his wife is trying to cuck her him with you and your hubby. She'll leave him home and when she returns ,tell him all the details.

It is smart to keep your radar up about ppl getting too clingy and emotionally involved. Its all about fun and sex.

That's what I was thinking, what she does or doesn't do with or without him is between them. But, at the same time, I do NOT want to play any part in in being a wedge that drives them apart from each other.

It is all about fun and sex, but as I'm slowly learning, it sometimes gets more complicated than that for people who are not at peace with themselves and/or not in full 100% on the same page communication with their partner.

That's where it seems to get messy.

This. Absolutely. If she has the green light to play alone, that's between her and her husband (I'd make sure communication is clear on that one so it doesn't turn into drama after). Just be on guard that it doesn't progress any further with the wife who seems to have hinted at getting more attached to you than she should. The end for us in that same scenario was bad enough that my wife lost all interest in looking for this type of fun and it's become VERY few and far between for us (basically has to be a perfect storm scenario now)

Right. I do want to confirm with him, separately, without her around controlling him, that he really is okay with being left out. I'm honestly not convinced yet at this point. Because at our first party, when we were all talking and sharing in the beginning before any pairing off started, they were definitely in the "we're in this as a couple 100%" group with the rest of us.

I have talked with our original hostess about this situation since she has more experience in "the lifestyle" and she feels that it's a bad sign too.

Your warning about what happened with your wife is very appropriate and I do want to thank you for sharing. I could totally see something like that happening in our current power dynamic. Especially because most of us work together and if word ever got to upper management about what we were doing it could cause serious problems for ALL of us since we've all had to sign and agree to fairly clear "moral conduct" clauses in our employment agreements. Especially the women Yeah, ours are MUCH more strict and explicit, which is totally unfair and sucks.

I'm still pushing for a party scenario of 6-8, maybe 10, so that everyone can play. But, like I mentioned, she is very cute and very persistent and very persuasive and if her husband says "sure go play without me" it might be hard to resist the temptation to do just exactly that.

Sex + Friends = Drama (who knew? lol)

 

[LizVegas79]

I hope we can have a pool party at our house this summer.


https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/08/04/04/42DAA38200000578-4759582-Husband_and_wife_fun_Later_Joe_brought_a_smile_to_his_wife_s_fac-m-5_1501817679118.jpg

And I hope I get to say "Sorry honey, one of your friends picked me again" at least two or three times
so that I can let my husband worry if everyone has enough to eat and drink.

Is that wrong?

 

[LizVegas79]

For those of you who have been in "the lifestyle" for awhile, what do you think is the perfect number of guests to have at a swap/swinger party? (serious question)

 

[GuySLut]

Just 5 couples is the number we have settled on. We’ve been to get togethers with a great deal many more. My wife and I thought it way too chaotic!

 

[Cobra6813]

Regarding parties, We’ve been to small gatherings as well as many large parties where our group took over portions of hotels.....both can be awesome. I loved the open sexual atmosphere of the large group parties with ppl wandering the halls of the hotel in various stages of clothing flirting and laughing. The advantage of large groups is selection. There are many hotties to choose from

With small parties of 6-10, the invite list is important. No room for bridge trolls or creeps. No one wants to take one for the team. The best part of small events is the personal intimacy where you can easily pair off

 

[SCcouple1990]

For those of you who have been in "the lifestyle" for awhile, what do you think is the perfect number of guests to have at a swap/swinger party? (serious question)

I think it depend on what you are looking for. I find the atmosphere with bigger crowds to be more fun and exciting. There always seems to be something going on and something to watch as you move around the party. It also makes it easier to blend into the crowd. You have more choices, if one person doesn't do it for you, you just move on to someone else.

Smaller parties are nice in that you can have easier conversations, not being distracted by what is happening at all the table around you. It can also be easier to be the center of attention if that is what you want. However, there are less choices if you are picky.

 

[LizVegas79]

Interesting. I've never even considered the possibility of a huge, entire hotel, size crowd. There probably would inevitably be some feelings and egos hurt in such a large crowd, but the bar scene would be intoxicating! (pardon the pun lol)

Yeah, 3-5 pre-selected couples is working for us so far. But even with that smaller, more manageable size the challenge is still who to invite. (our bi-racial friends are still on the outs because we can't all 100% agree about them - they aren't married, she's almost half the age of the rest of the women and I'm not going to say the third hurdle)

Personally I would like to try 5 couples next and see what that's like. Although I certainly would not miss another party of 3 couples!

Thanks for sharing everyone!

 

[LizVegas79]

So I have to ask, because someone sent me this picture and asked me >>>

https://66.media.tumblr.com/4ef3087e9aeba1de54d6f9f546fb2947/tumblr_p4hywmj47a1wlbuh0o1_400.gifv

Has anyone had any experience playing the Guess Who's Cock It Is game at a swinger party?

How would that even work because what would the other women do?

Fluff the guys for the blindfolded "it" girl?

(that could actually be kind of hot now that I think about it!)

 

[nkycatsfan]

So I have to ask, because someone sent me this picture and asked me >>>

https://66.media.tumblr.com/4ef3087e9aeba1de54d6f9f546fb2947/tumblr_p4hywmj47a1wlbuh0o1_400.gifv

Has anyone had any experience playing the Guess Who's Cock It Is game at a swinger party?

How would that even work because what would the other women do?

Fluff the guys for the blindfolded "it" girl?

(that could actually be kind of hot now that I think about it!)

Not at a swinger PARTY per se...but my wife and I hosted a party a few years ago that ended with her drinking with me and two friends who'd both joined us in the bedroom at different times. After a number of drinks, one of them bet her that she couldn't guess which cock was which with a blindfold on and she took the challenge and ran with it. We blindfolded her with one of my ties and got her on her knees...pulled her shirt up and off, then undid the bra and unleashed her breasts.

She got to experience one sucking each breast while a third kissed her for a bit, then we took turns feeding her our cocks to see if she could guess. The original guy to suggest it added a new element to it and said that if she got it wrong, we got to tie her up and use her. She got it wrong out of the gate (I'm half certain on purpose) and we led her to the bedroom and tied her up (a fetish of hers...and this had actually been a long running fantasy) and she experienced getting all kinds of attention for the whole night.

 

[LizVegas79]

Not at a swinger PARTY per se...but my wife and I hosted a party a few years ago that ended with her drinking with me and two friends who'd both joined us in the bedroom at different times. After a number of drinks, one of them bet her that she couldn't guess which cock was which with a blindfold on and she took the challenge and ran with it. We blindfolded her with one of my ties and got her on her knees...pulled her shirt up and off, then undid the bra and unleashed her breasts.

She got to experience one sucking each breast while a third kissed her for a bit, then we took turns feeding her our cocks to see if she could guess. The original guy to suggest it added a new element to it and said that if she got it wrong, we got to tie her up and use her. She got it wrong out of the gate (I'm half certain on purpose) and we led her to the bedroom and tied her up (a fetish of hers...and this had actually been a long running fantasy) and she experienced getting all kinds of attention for the whole night.

That's so strange. I wonder what in the world would make her want to guess wrong on purpose?

 

[nkycatsfan]

That's so strange. I wonder what in the world would make her want to guess wrong on purpose?

Just baffles the hell out of me

She thoroughly enjoyed being wrong that night.

 

[LizVegas79]

Just baffles the hell out of me

She thoroughly enjoyed being wrong that night.

So strange.

Well I sincerely hope you and your friends taught her a lesson she won't ever forget.

I bet she'll never make that mistake again, huh?!

You know what? You should totally test her.

Set up those same circumstances again, just to, you know, make sure.


(I'm so going to lose this bet lol)

 

[LizVegas79]

my wife and i have never been to a swingers club, been to a naturist site by day which does have swinging but we didn't.

We have what we call a discreet open marriage, in that we allow each other to have friends to spend time with separately, we meet some of each others friends but when all together it is just friends, we then go to separate rooms with our friends to have the fun times. I would be up for doing it with her and a friend - we did with one female friend a long time ago but she said that was first and only time that was going to happen, she abhors any gay or bi type situations and doesn't like watching me with anyone else, happy for me or her to do it just not in the same room

Hmmm, I'm no expert (yet lol) but that sounds more like an open marriage than swinging to me.

Not judging. Just suggesting that it's different from going to a swap party WITH you S.O..

Enjoy though! Whatever works works and there is no right or wrong when it comes to couples making agreements that they're BOTH comfortable with!

 

[Cobra6813]

When we were swinging we found separate room play preferable. My wife would get distracted from who she was with seeing me playing with another woman so we tried going in separate rooms and it worked much better. We would reunite once we were done playing and showering if we were at a private residence.

I think it did lead later on to us exploring an open relationship. We tried it, after the initial excitement wore off, we decided it wasn’t good for us. Too much stress, not enough fun and also jealously reared its ugly head at times. So we shut that experiment down.

 

[Deleted member 5428187]

It was soooo very exciting!!!

My husband "reclaimed me" so hard after our first round of swapping too!

Which is exactly what I would do as well.