The unappreciated limerick

[EmilyMiller]

A bra is a curious thing,
Its purposes, so interesting.
But without it, we know
Avid minds tend to blow
At the sight of flesh without lifting.

I liked that one

 

[Trionyx]

I haven’t penned one in days
I guess that I’ve been in a laze
I’ll get back on the road
By writing this ode
And hope that it garners some praise

Emily wants to garner some praise,
So let me count out her two best ways.
Doggy and sixty-nine,
She does them both so fine,
You'll wanna keep her in bed for days.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Emily wants to garner some praise,
So let me count out her two best ways.
Doggy and sixty-nine,
She does them both so fine,
You'll wanna keep her in bed for days.

Aw! Thanks, sweetie .

Em

 

[SimonDoom]

I liked that one

I'm glad. Of course, Lovecraft and people like him will see it as further evidence of me as a "grabby fanboy" (I think that's how he put it). But that's not it at all. You've thrown pebbles into the pond, and there are ripples where there was still water before, and that's terribly bothersome to somebody like Lovecraft, but I think it's interesting and a source of additional erotic inspiration.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I'm glad. Of course, Lovecraft and people like him will see it as further evidence of me as a "grabby fanboy" (I think that's how he put it). But that's not it at all. You've thrown pebbles into the pond, and there are ripples where there was still water before, and that's terribly bothersome to somebody like Lovecraft, but I think it's interesting and a source of additional erotic inspiration.

There is a very long list of people who appear bothersome to others. It’s life I think. Not everyone gets along. People want to find fault in others, often to salve something in themselves. We all do it from time to time, me included.

Em

 

[Bamagan]

Wearing lingerie is kind of a sport
As it's designed to entice, not support
Like waving a cape
At a big, hairy ape
To encourage a bedroom cavort

 

[EmilyMiller]

Wearing lingerie is kind of a sport
As it's designed to entice, not support
Like waving a cape
At a big, hairy ape
To encourage a bedroom cavort

You like bedding gorillas?

Em

 

[Bamagan]

You like bedding gorillas?

Em

1. It's a piece of short fiction, not a confessional. I'm using artistic license and/or metaphor with the word ape.
2. Gorillas are not the only kind of apes. I'm partial to redheads, so I'd go with an orangutan if it was a confessional.
3. Don't be so judgmental, I know what kind of combos you write about.

 

[EmilyMiller]

1. It's a piece of short fiction, not a confessional. I'm using artistic license and/or metaphor with the word ape.
2. Gorillas are not the only kind of apes. I'm partial to redheads, so I'd go with an orangutan if it was a confessional.
3. Don't be so judgmental, I know what kind of combos you write about.

My only gorillas were goons for an orangutan Mafia boss - they got beaten up by an eight month pregnant petite blonde . <River>With her mind</River>.

Wish fulfilment much?

Em

 

[Bamagan]

My only gorillas were goons for an orangutan Mafia boss - they got beaten up by an eight month pregnant petite blonde . <River>With her mind</River>.

Wish fulfilment much?

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Yeah - her - Summer is adorable .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

And if her brain doesn’t work…

 

[EmilyMiller]

Once a girl, rather cute, called Cameron
Was quite the hot shot with a gun
When she ran out of ammo
She’d just lift up a piano
And say “want live? just come on”

 

[EmilyMiller]

Once a girl, rather cute, called Cameron
Was quite the hot shot with a gun
When she ran out of ammo
She’d just lift up a piano
And say “want live? just come on”

If Cameron told me to go back to bed, I’d go back to bed.

I might ask her to join me of course.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Miller, Emily once wondered how
It would be like to date Summer Glau
You’d never quite know
If your body she’d throw
Or her brain would make you…

 

[EmilyMiller]

I wish I had written this one…

A mosquito cried out in great pain,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
And the cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane.

 

[Djmac1031]

So I'm supposed to write a poem,
While sitting here in my home?
Well I'm certainly no poet,
And I definitely know it,
So you'll get nothing of the sort from my dome.

 

[Bamagan]

"I know verses lurk in that head!"
The grim and glowering trepannist said
She took up her drill
And muttered, "Hold still!"
But the air-headed poet just bled.

(Edit: Trepanning is the act of perforating the skull, in case anyone is confused about that or the air-headed joke.)

 

[EmilyMiller]

"I know verses lurk in that head!"
The glowering trepannist said
She took up her drill
And muttered, "Hold still!"
But the air-headed poet just bled.

(Edit: Trepanning is the act of perforating the skull, in case anyone is confused about that or the air-headed joke.)

Thank you for educating us oh my master

 

[Djmac1031]

"I know verses lurk in that head!"
The glowering trepannist said
She took up her drill
And muttered, "Hold still!"
But the air-headed poet just bled.

(Edit: Trepanning is the act of perforating the skull, in case anyone is confused about that or the air-headed joke.)

Come for the porn.

Stay for the big word education.

 

[Bamagan]

Come for the porn.

Stay for the big word education.

I mean, the word isn't really unusually large, but I do know how to use it well.

 

[yowser]

There was a young virgin from Stoke-on-Trent,
who heard that sex was luminescent.
It turned out that penetration
produced excitation,
leaving her face quite incandescent.

 

[SimonDoom]

Don's perviness was without bounds,
His actions, without legal grounds.
He went on a lark
With a coat in the park;
I'm afraid it's as bad as it sounds.

 

[Bamagan]

I guess it's nobody's fault
That nude women we like to exalt
If she flashes we cheer
But if a man should appear...
Exposing his cock is assault

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

Without even having to try
She joined the club called ‘Mile High’
Flying high in the air
With nary a care
It was on that flight she went bi.