The unappreciated limerick

[Smuttyandfun]

There was a young lady from Grant's Pass
Who delighted in poking her ass
Her favorite trick
Was to use a sharp stick
And scratch it while feeding it grass

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

Her guy who was long and thick
Knew just how to make her tick
First in her mouth
Then he’d head south
That usually did the trick.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

There was a young woman from Norway
Who hung by her heels in a doorway.
She said to her young man,
"Get off the divan;
I think I've discovered one more way."

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A boy who was shy as a dove
Just needed a bit of a shove
A woman, though wedded
This boy she soon bedded
And became his true ladylove.

 

[EmilyMiller]

We are writers of course one and all
Our work good or bad, big or small
So why do we fret
‘Bout ratings we get?
Instead of just loving our scrawl

 

[Bamagan]

Some might think it's insanity
While others declare it's just vanity
But either way
I'm happy to say
The haters can-- [redacted profanity]

 

[djrip]

the advice he'd got was to fuck it
and fill up his bride like a bucket
but he'd set out to marry
one whose vulva was harry
cause all he really wanted was to pluck it

 

[yowser]

There was a hirsute lady from Rome
Whose pubic garden proved a good home,
Local lads took their pleasure
And found that their treasure
Would never encounter a comb.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

In the Garden of Eden sat Adam
Complacently stroking his madam
And he thought with mirth
On the whole damned earth
There were only two balls and He had 'em

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A girl on an ocean liner
Was sailing to Asia Minor
All across the sea
She had quite a spree
Of kissing many a young vagina.

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A girl who was quite sedate
Got asked on a late night date
She came back home
But not alone
She took the bait of her mate and changed her fate.

 

[Phantom300]

Browsing Literotica, I once read a story
Of a naked young lass in all her fine glory
She intended to flash
Her tits and her gash
To everyone except her Uncle Maury

 

[ronde]

Just to get into the Christmas spirit,

When Santa returned Christmas day,
He called all his elves just to say,
The reindeer, it seems
You’ve been feeding with beans
And they farted the whole fucking way.

or...

The elves all were smiling with glee
For Santa was gone, don’t you see.
While he drove his sleigh,
Mrs. Claus stripped and lay,
To take them all on three by three.

 

[AlinaX]

As Santa's sleigh flew through the sky
It dropped little gifts by and by
The great bulging sack
Stayed full at the back
And his Ho Ho Ho made us cry

 

[Bamagan]

It turned out that jolly St. Nick
Was really a lady, sans dick!
But it wasn't her belly
That wobbled like jelly
And her chimney was pleasantly slick

 

[AlinaX]

With a fire burning nicely.

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

With a fire burning nicely
Alina knew her wants precisely
A hunk with cash
And looks and dash
That sums it up concisely.

 

[AlinaX]

Suzie and Sarah and Fred
One night ended in the same bed
Though pronouns confused them
They loved femme upon femme
And seven weeks later they wed

 

[Bamagan]

Most limericks exist for a laugh
To tease or make fun of a gaffe
Therefore it is fitting
When it's time for quitting
I shall have such a coarse epitaph

 

[yowser]

A well endowed fellow from Wapping
Had a letch for a wench who was strapping
Her mighty quim it would squeeze
So greatly to please
That his prick left her exhausted and napping.

 

[SimonDoom]

One day on a street in October,
When Jane was not quite fully sober,
She stripped off her top,
Drew the gaze of a cop,
Who declared her a serial disrober.

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

One day on a street in October,
When Jane was not quite fully sober,
She stripped off her top,
Drew the gaze of a cop,
Who declared her a serial disrober.

Jane would also flash dance
Which she did at every chance
She’d shake what she had
Which drove the guys mad
And left them in agog in a trance.

 

[12oclocktales]

There was an old Count of Swaboda
Who would not pay a whore what he owed her;
So with great savoir-faire
She stood on a chair,
And pissed in his whiskey-and-soda.

 

[AlinaX]

A well endowed fellow from Wapping
Had a letch for a wench who was strapping
Her mighty quim it would squeeze
So greatly to please
That his prick left her exhausted and napping.

The only Wapping I know is not pronounced that way.

 

[SimonDoom]

Joe searched for the ultimate smut
To satisfy busting his nut.
He finally found it,
And now he can pound it
To the image of Betty's sweet butt.