The unappreciated limerick

[Smuttyandfun]

There once was a man from St. Lou
Who gave his dear sister a screw.
He said with aplomb:
"You're better than Mom."
Said she: "That's what Dad told me too."

 

[yowser]

The only Wapping I know is not pronounced that way.

Pray enlighten me as to pronunciation?

 

[AlinaX]

There was a young lass from Wapping
Who all the young men was topping
Her strap-on they sucked
Before their asses she fucked
And she cried, "This I will never be stopping!"

 

[SimonDoom]

There once was a man from St. Lou
Who gave his dear sister a screw.
He said with aplomb:
"You're better than Mom."
Said she: "That's what Dad told me too."

Well done. You've been spending entirely too much time at Literotica, it's plain to see.

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A girl who liked playing the field
Usually had a good yield
She lured men to her lair
Then used her flair
For assuring the deal was sealed.

 

[yowser]

There was a young lass from Wapping
Who all the young men was topping
Her strap-on they sucked
Before their asses she fucked
And she cried, "This I will never be stopping!"

Thank you.

 

[AlinaX]

I was expecting you to say, "Well, that's how we say 'Wapping' in Ontario," or something, lol.

 

[SimonDoom]

There was an old perv from Key Largo,
Whose neighbors forced his move north to Fargo.
He knocked on their doors,
And then dropped his drawers.
Now he's facing a neighbor embargo.

 

[Bamagan]

There was a young lady who milled
She'd winnow whatever you tilled
And for a small fee
She'd spray you with pee
And watch you wank while she jilled

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A girl from the wild, wild west
Enjoyed being comfortably pressed
‘Tween her two men
On the couch in her den
With this she was quite obsessed.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

There once was a man from Iraq
Who had holes down the length of his cock
When he got an erection
It'd play a selection
From Johann Sebastian Bach

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A girl from eastern Iraq
Had a very impressive rack
When in the souk
It was no fluke
She’d get positive feedback.

 

[GirlFur]

I'm just not so good at this rhymin'
I think that I just lack the timin'
But I know in my heart
That it's now I must start
And bust open my lim'rick hymen

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

I'm just not so good at this rhymin'
I think that I just lack the timin'
But I know in my heart
That it's now I must start
And bust open my lim'rick hymen

That is a good start GirlFur
Don’t let the others deter
Your efforts at rhyme
It’ll come in time
You’ll think of a line on the spur.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

A limerick can be made just fine
If you adjust your meter and rhyme
with two in the middle
other three make the riddle
the last one provides the punch line

 

[SimonDoom]

"Your body," he said, "I adore."
"I must have you. Right now. I implore."
She thought she'd resist;
But after they kissed,
Her panties lay pooled on the floor.

 

[Trionyx]

We haven't heard lately from Ms. Em,
Who whips out limericks on a whim.
But she and Wanda
Are much more fonda
Poems that leave out every him.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

There was a young fellow named Jock
Who had quite an amazing cock.
You see, it hung to his knee
And he could use it to pee
Or secretly sneak up a frock.

 

[AlinaX]

My old wooden grandfather clock
Gave the neighbours a nasty wee shock
The pendulum swung
And from it there hung
My ex husband's dismembered cock

 

[cdstefi]

I once thought "would I ever dare,
To try on my wife's underwear?"
I tried it and liked it
Up my thighs I hiked it
And promptly sprayed sperm everywhere.

 

[cdstefi]

My old wooden grandfather clock
Gave the neighbours a nasty wee shock
The pendulum swung
And from it there hung
My ex husband's dismembered cock

That rhyme was a little bit dark
Made me wonder "Why did he cark?"
Was it something tragic
Or maybe dark magic
Or did you end him just for a lark?

 

[AlinaX]

What joy is in being a man
When denim can't do what silk can?
Let's ban all but hose
And demand that one's rose
Be covered by naught but a fan

 

[AlinaX]

That rhyme was a little bit dark
Made me wonder "Why did he cark?"
Was it something tragic
Or maybe dark magic
Or did you end him just for a lark?

A notorious black widow I
Cry, "Cock for a cock, eye for eye!"
I told him, "Don't cheat
Or a dark fate you'll meet!"
Not a tear shed when watching him die...

 

[cdstefi]

A notorious black widow I
Cry, "Cock for a cock, eye for eye!"
I told him, "Don't cheat
Or a dark fate you'll meet!"
Not a tear shed when watching him die...

I'm certain that no shits were given
When from his groin his cock was riven
Whilst ethically muddy
The scene it was bloody
As he left the land of the livin'

 

[Bamagan]

My old wooden grandfather clock
Gave the neighbours a nasty wee shock
The pendulum swung
And from it there hung
My ex husband's dismembered cock

Their shock was followed by fright
When the clock struck seven that night
Instead of a chime
To mark suppertime
His balls rang, and set them to flight