Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[loquere]

"Die bitch die!"

 

[Mropietaylor69]

Turn it up

 

[loquere]

Snoring

 

[Handley_Page]

Snoring

Best one yet

 

[loquere]

"This mediocre performance is why I prefer my hand."

 

[Kitty]

Police sirens.

 

[loquere]

Police sirens.

Ambulance sirens

 

[loquere]

The swift instantaneous clicking sound, of all the electronics and lights in your apartment turning off due to the unpaid electric bill.

 

[Kitty]

Ambulance sirens

Yea but police sirens means we got caught and are going to jail.

 

[loquere]

Yea but police sirens means we got caught and are going to jail.

Death is a bit more severe

"Wait I feel odd, Is that latex I told you to buy lambskin call the....?

 

[loquere]

"Fuck me better or your fired."

 

[bigcockstallion]

I've never did this but I assume " shit my husbands home".

 

[loquere]

“That’s odd you should've passed out by now.”

 

[loquere]

"I'd like to eat your liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti."

 

[JKendallDane]

"Ya know. Your witness protection boys almost pulled it off for ya. Almost being the key word of course."

 

[loquere]

"This played out better in my mind, in theory, but in practise this was crap."

 

[Handley_Page]

"Have you thought about a good Insurance Policy ?

 

[jayjaylove]

Wait

Wait! Wait! Can you turn over you i don't have to see your face.

 

[Fierywhore]

Gee you're like your sister..

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

"By the way, I'm your new boss at work."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

"That will be a thousand dollars."

 

[loquere]

"That will be a thousand dollars."

(I really like lit stories with escort themes)

 

[loquere]

"It's ugly ineffective and it's giving me a rash, can I cut if off with this knife?"

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

"I teach Junior's English class. See you at PTA with the wife."

 

[Kitty]

"If you itch, or secrete some weird ooze, not my fault. Bye!"