Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[Najesta]

"Hold on...my wife's calling"

 

[loquere]

"How do you feel about a threesome.... at the cemetery I have a fetish for necrophilia?"

 

[loquere]

"Death turns me on, does it turn you on?

 

[chaste_tease]

"I am the first spirit you will fuck tonight, the next spirit is that of the present and looks like Donald Trump but in 50 years time...!"

 

[GoldenMaia]

Erm-mah-gawd PIE!

 

[loquere]

"Police! Search Warrant! Open Up!"

 

[Daniel_Matthews]

"Honey, I'm home!"

 

[TurmoilSlider]

I saw this once during an autopsy

 

[loquere]

"Saw the doc today, I'll tell you what he said after we finish... It isn't good news."

 

[JKendallDane]

Which half of the closet is going to be mine?



.

 

[Handley_Page]

The sound of a window breaking and a young voice says:
"Can we have our ball back please"?

 

[loquere]

The sound of a window breaking and a young voice says:
"Can we have our ball back please"?

"No, it's my ball now." - says Mr. Wilson.

 

[loquere]

"My arthritis is acting up, let's stop for now babe."

 

[chaste_tease]

"What's you're biggest regret in life? Mine is this"

 

[loquere]

"That's going to cost you extra."

 

[chaste_tease]

Would you like to come to my support group after? it's for people who've recently contracted sexually transmitted diseases, I'm sure you'll fit right in

 

[loquere]

"Do you mind if I put a paper bag over your face?"

 

[chaste_tease]

"I took off the condom you insisted on... my bad"

 

[loquere]

"Who the fuck is Bob?.... My name is Derrick."

 

[loquere]

"I plan on killing myself after this."

 

[woodcutter2]

hey that was great, love that new thing you did with your tongue, i was thinking of Richard from work the whole time we fucked, we can't do this again....

 

[lisa123414]

Probably old school

Seriously? You came and now we are done?

 

[Saxon_Hart]

I murder motherfuckers who don't make me see stars.

 

[chaste_tease]

And now I have the DNA to raise my army of clone mutants, mwah ha ha

 

[loquere]

And now I have the DNA to raise my army of clone mutants, mwah ha ha

That's gold.