Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[subgreen]

"Uhh, you're not doing it right."

 

[scorpio1121]

Oh shit, My husband is home.... Where are the damn keys to the handcuffs?

 

[scorpio1121]

(from the bullhorn on the police cruiser) Mr. Smith, can come out now, We found your wallet in your pants, out here on the lawn

 

[scorpio1121]

"Mommy, your being too loud, again.... From the 4 year old next to the bed.

 

[scorpio1121]

Today's Tuesday.... time for Wapner.

 

[chaste_tease]

"Right that's it, I'm definitely gay," when you're having sex with a man... and you're not one

 

[loquere]

"I'm so fucking depressed."

 

[Handley_Page]

"I'm so fucking depressed."

I've got this pain in the diodes all down my left side. . . .

 

[loquere]

"Go slow I just had an abortion the morning, and my pussys really hurting."

 

[Handley_Page]

<the sound of the ambulance siren >

 

[GoldenMaia]

Duck!

 

[Desiretobedesir]

.......

 

[loquere]

"Waterboarding is a fetish of mine, wanna try it babe?"

 

[Savage_Henry]

You're sure the gun in her twat is unloaded?

 

[loquere]

"In my culture this means that we're married now."

 

[chaste_tease]

I want you to scream "I'm from the planet Nuclikletron and I've come to probe you" when you orgasm, it really turns me on

 

[scorpio1121]

"In my culture this means that we're married now."

That is the moment when you stop and look around for your pants.

 

[loquere]

That is the moment when you stop and look around for your pants.

"When I was young I'd say, it depends on how attractive she is and the sex, but my semi-wise self would agree that one should run, run fast."

 

[walkingeagle]

Are you able to have sex with that?--

 

[TurmoilSlider]

Why are you still here?

 

[scorpio1121]

Honey, I have already had sex this evening.

 

[scorpio1121]

Did I tell you that we were streaming this live?

 

[scorpio1121]

Did I tell you my name used to be Bob?

 

[scorpio1121]

Trust Me....

 

[scorpio1121]

I know this was our first date but I want you to come home to meet my folks.