Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[RKB_Kirin]

"Now your soul is mine."

That or "Bark like a puppy!"

 

[Winterscumming]

"So I got back those test results..."

 

[kismet999]

So, last month, I stole my sister's fertility drugs....

 

[Jenny17]

It was good, but with your sister was much more better.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

It was good, but with your sister was much more better.

Denny------------ Your mother was more fun.

 

[FSUBasketball]

I knew you wouldn't be any good.

 

[JKendallDane]

Hot damn, Ma. It looks like little Susie Ann done snagged her a husband!



.

 

[Delilah_Night]

I I think I'm in labor!

 

[loquere]

Does this look normal to you?

 

[SLS69]

No I said put it all in!

 

[loquere]

What the hell is that?

 

[Najesta]

Ugh my dog just farted...

This happened to me once. I was like " are you fucking kidding me!?" How romantic and sexy...not.

 

[Handley_Page]

Is it in?

 

[monanympho]

It's not getting up!

 

[JKendallDane]

Ya know, sex with you is almost as good as it is with the old ladies at the funeral home.

.

 

[loquere]

Pause for a second, I need to go check something on Web MD.

 

[loquere]

Hah hah!

 

[BattlingSoul]

Have you been doing you kegels?

 

[loquere]

Where's that smell coming from?

 

[Hard_Rom]

"Yeah, I would like to order a pizza."

 

[loquere]

I made a big mistake.

 

[loquere]

Die bitch die!

 

[ChloeTzang]

Pretty much, my nightmare is, "fuck, the condom broke!"

Oh god, don't. I remember that one. With horror.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Hi honey, I'm home....oh!

 

[Hypoxia]

"Okay guys, she's ready now."