Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[ChloeTzang]

Is this where it should go in?

 

[loquere]

The condom broke.

 

[ChloeTzang]

The condom broke.

It came off. Its stll in there somewhere.

 

[loquere]

It came off. Its stll in there somewhere.

And it's stuck to my clit piercing!

 

[BeautifulBlueSky218]

I thought about my ex while having sex with you.

 

[Rockofmarriages]

Keep going, I'm just loading my .45

 

[loquere]

The power of Christ compels you!

 

[Handley_Page]

The power of Christ compels you!

Democrat or Republican: Which are you ?

 

[ChloeTzang]

Open wider, don't worry, it's not THAT big......

 

[Handley_Page]

Open wider, don't worry, it's not THAT big......

"I want to be a politician when I am able"

 

[JKendallDane]

"I want to be a politician when I am able"

While you're down there could you spread some of this antibiotic cream on the biggest wart for me?

.

 

[maverick51]

you have what disease?!!!!

 

[bobb_sledd]

Are you sure this isn't illegal in this state?

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

I think I'm having a heart attack.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I haven't seen a pair like that since I slept with your sister!

 

[Handley_Page]

You sure the ice has melted ?

 

[ChloeTzang]

(Phone rings and its my Dad's ringtone) - "Hi Dad ... "

 

[bobb_sledd]

Can my brother watch?

 

[MagicaPractica]

I'm going to need some coffee to stay awake.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Well, i posted this on the "women" thread but everyone seemed to find it amusing so what the heck .... it's personal, it happened, it's definitely "things you don't want to hear" as in, I didn't and he got kicked (Tae Kwon Do since I was 5... and I was annoyed...) ... and I hope it's good for a giggle...

....and, well, I shouldn't tell you about my learning curve here, but what the heck. Chloe the learner, way back when, with new boyfriend, Chloe is introduced to doing it doggy. Chloe is suitable enthralled. Chloe definitely wants more.
Chloe says "what do I do now?"
Boyfriend says "bark?"
Boyfriend says "ooopphhh"
Boyfriend says "owwwww"
Boyfriend says "I was only joking" (he's rolling around clutching himself when he says this)
Chloe says "bow fucking wow."

A reconciliation was achieved. After he recovered.

 

[Hypoxia]

"This will only hurt a little..."

 

[MagicaPractica]

I'm bored.

 

[LadyIris]

That's it?

 

[walkingeagle]

Your brothers bigger---

 

[ChloeTzang]

My brother's bigger