Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[Peach102]

Go lower, that is my bellybutton.

 

[RNJAG]

Oh yeah, this is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me.

 

[Handley_Page]

What d'ya mean you've forgotten the word ?

 

[JKendallDane]

You are going to stay for dinner, aren't you? I have one of Jeffrey Dahmer's recipes I want to try.

 

[loquere]

I'm Donald Trump!

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

When we lived in Illinois we drove past Jeffrey Dahmer's house sometimes.
Now I wished we'd stopped for dinner or when he was having sex with those old ladies.

Glad I never heard him say dinner is served while having sex.

 

[loquere]

Hedge clipper, snipping sound.

 

[Rollinbones]

"Sir, the zoo is closed."

 

[JKendallDane]

You really don't recognize me? Really? Well I'm sure you've heard of my mother, Sarah Palin, haven't you?



.

 

[Handley_Page]

"Hey; you recognise the tune ?"

 

[coochiebarber]

My bf is a bouncer at the club.

 

[Fierywhore]

My period is way overdue!

 

[XsNrg]

How come the snakes cage is empty?

 

[loquere]

Yeah, give it to me, give me a baby.

 

[coochiebarber]

Oh fuck I feel it, I feel it, condom is broken!!

 

[Rollinbones]

/after sex

"God no, look... the condom fell off."


"I wasn't wearing a condom...

 

[Handley_Page]

Yeah, give it to me, give me a baby.

I actually heard that once; and she was not joking.
It frightened the life out of me and I hastened to get posted away (anywhere) ASAP.

 

[JKendallDane]

So...which half of the closet is going to be mine?



.

 

[coochiebarber]

That's my wife..... get the fuck outta here!!!!

 

[loquere]

April fools!

 

[Cmdr_L]

"I used to be a man"

 

[JKendallDane]

You do know I'm a man, don't you?

 

[Pigheaded]

Don't worry! I'm almost certain were not related.....

 

[coochiebarber]

Marry me!!

 

[loquere]

You're fired.