When things move beyond Literotica

[sseg]

yeah...

Yes - you are correct, I should not have generalized about men. I LOVE men, just for the record. And women can be just as hideous. Which is why I am honest up front when someone PMs me. I tell everyone that I like to flirt and that I'm not looking for more than that. I have been seduced but it takes more than two minutes of whining about youself and expecting me to fix you. For that I would have to have a couch and a degree.

I hear ya. I prefer to think of the types of PEOPLE who do these things as predators or users, rather than men or women because in spite of the seeming prevalence, they really are in the minority. I'd rather paint them as they are, rather than tar every man or woman with the same brush I would them.

I see people who just bash men or women without really thinking of what they are saying or how they may be making innocent people feel as being both callous and rude. Some people don't seem to care if they are doing so, and there's nothing that can be done about that except make sure to stay far away from them. Other folks may not be aware that they are having that kind of effect, so it's fair to let them know. I know for myself that I don't want to be the kind of person who takes my frustrations out on the innocent.

 

[Lee9104]

You know what amazes me is people's proclivity for game playing.

I'm blunt and straightforward. If someone comes across as wanting cyber, etc., I politely tell them I don't think I'm what they are looking for. (I'm not a cyber partner, so thus, it is true.)

I did (am?) having a relationship that started online ... that was one of the most intriguing things that has ever happened to me. Why can't people just be honest? Is it that damned hard?
If it's over, tell me it's over. Don't say one thing and do another. Don't make promises you don't intend to keep. It really is that simple. If your mood has changed, or your needs, or whatever ... why not just state it?

Bleh. Now I've gone all ranty.

Time for another cup of coffee.

Hi Raidho~

That's the million dollar question we are all trying to figure out lol. Let me know if you ever find out.

 

[Lee9104]

Hi Vessira~

If you have been reading my thread you can see that some have had very good relationships with men/women they have met either online or on Literotica. Some like me have also not had such good luck in that department.
That being said I know there are some really nice men/women on this site so I feel you should have no problem finding what you are looking for once you start chatting and getting to know them. Best of luck on your search.

 

[curious476]

Meeting after on-line

I've only met with one person I met online. I had placed a personal ad and it was very specific concerning the sexual activity I sought. The lady I met with was exactly what I had hoped for in every way and after meeting with her on 3 occasions I decided to end it because I was just becoming to envolved with her, I couldn't think about any thing but being with her and it probably would have ended my marriage if I had continued. I still miss that relationship we had and she is a very large part of my masturbation fantasies. I really hope I never hear from her again because I was addicted to her and I'm not sure I could resist her again! Be careful what you wish for because there is someone out there who will give you exactly what you want!

 

[SheRemembers]

I've only met with one person I met online. I had placed a personal ad and it was very specific concerning the sexual activity I sought. The lady I met with was exactly what I had hoped for in every way and after meeting with her on 3 occasions I decided to end it because I was just becoming to envolved with her, I couldn't think about any thing but being with her and it probably would have ended my marriage if I had continued. I still miss that relationship we had and she is a very large part of my masturbation fantasies. I really hope I never hear from her again because I was addicted to her and I'm not sure I could resist her again! Be careful what you wish for because there is someone out there who will give you exactly what you want!

Now that's a perspective I hadn't thought of... Wow.

 

[Lee9104]

Now that's a perspective I hadn't thought of... Wow.

Hi SheRemembers~
I hope all is well with you it has been a while since we last chatted.
I never thought of that one either but I think I will have to take my chances and hope for the best. Let's hear it for wishes coming true for a change. I am more then ready how about you?

 

[Mitsouko]

It's funny how you start talking to someone on Lit, isn't it? I contacted Lee9104 because I thought I was having the same experience (though I didn't go and meet the guy) with the same man. Turns out there's another of us, though I won't post her name on here, because it's not my place.

A while ago there was some talk of a lit black list of sorts, or a place where a person could put up who they were involved with anomymously, so we could track these people.

 

[SheRemembers]

Hi SheRemembers~
I hope all is well with you it has been a while since we last chatted.
I never thought of that one either but I think I will have to take my chances and hope for the best. Let's hear it for wishes coming true for a change. I am more then ready how about you?

*blushing* Well, my wishes already have, kind of...

 

[Raidho]

Hi Raidho~

That's the million dollar question we are all trying to figure out lol. Let me know if you ever find out.

If it's a million dollar question, I'll be sure to give you an autographed (free) copy of my book when it hits the shelves.

Don't hold your breath though.

 

[ltnsfr007]

If it's a million dollar question, I'll be sure to give you an autographed (free) copy of my book when it hits the shelves.

Don't hold your breath though.

Hehehe, before you get famous & start charging ?

 

[Lee9104]

*blushing* Well, my wishes already have, kind of...

Good for you. I am very happy to hear that things have indeed turned around for you. They say as one door is closed another one opens. It seems that has happened with you. Mine is still having the swinging effect lol. Not sure if it will open all the way up or hit me in the ass again. Keep in touch.

 

[Lee9104]

A while ago there was some talk of a lit black list of sorts, or a place where a person could put up who they were involved with anomymously, so we could track these people.

Hi Mitsouko~

It was brought to the table a while back for this Literotica Black list (as you called it) to be started in a thread. I am not sure how that would be viewed by Literotica. I for one struggled with the issue of if I was or wasn't going to post *his* name in this thread. After talking with him I decided I would not stoop to his level and bad mouth him using his Literotica ID. He is very well liked on this site and I have already had continued issues with bad PM's from his *friends* because of what I have said in this thread. Anonymous or not I feel it would cause alot more problems then it is worth. The *players* would know who posted their names for the simple reason that they know who they *played*. I have however been contacted by other woman who thought they had also been played by this same person and we would PM a few times back and forth until they knew if it was the same person or not but never giving any names either way. It can be figured out by just asking a few key questions. This is also how *SheRemembers* and I figured the same guy had played us both long ago.

 

[siren319]

A while ago there was some talk of a lit black list of sorts, or a place where a person could put up who they were involved with anomymously, so we could track these people.

I think it is probably too hard to keep these lists ligit. I'm sure everyone on lit has pissed at least one other person off. I know I have.

 

[sseg]

bad idea, I think...

I think it is probably too hard to keep these lists ligit. I'm sure everyone on lit has pissed at least one other person off. I know I have.

As I posted before, I think such a thing is a bad idea. Too many times problems between people have more to do with their interactions and such a list would be difficult to keep legitimate. I'd also view people who posted like that about other people with skepticism because airing dirty laundry in public says a lot about the person doing the airing too, regardless of how deserved it might be.

There are ways of letting other concerned people know who the bad apples are. In any community people who don't do right by others get a reputation pretty quickly.

 

[Lee9104]

I think it is probably too hard to keep these lists ligit. I'm sure everyone on lit has pissed at least one other person off. I know I have.

I tend to agree.

 

[BeachGurl2]

Sometimes you meet someone on Literotica and end up taking things to a different level. You chat *IM*, email, phone calls getting to know the Real person. At some point one of you or both brings up the "I want to meet you? ".
Now here is my question at this point when things have moved beyond Literotica when you are in fact getting to know this man/woman offline as well as online *Real Life*. There is talk of you going to see him/her. You are in fact willing to take a chance and see what happens (possible relationship). Do you mean what you say or are you still playing? Would you want/expect at this point for the person to be honest straightforward (meaning what they are saying)?
I personally would not tell someone I wanted to meet them and see what happens in *Real Life* if in fact I didn't mean what I was saying.
Fantasy or Reality

I haven't read through this entire thread, but have looked at a few responses. I have met in person about 8 people from lit and have become good friends with most of them. There are a few people here who I still have plans to meet in the next month or so. I am currently dating someone I met from lit last fall, and in fact, have been temporarily staying with him while looking for my own place to live after moving here.

I think the thing you have to decide when you come here is whether you are here to be yourself and make some friends/relationships, or you are here for the fantasy aspect. For myself, I don't do fantasy. I'm fairly well grounded in reality. So what you see is what you get. There is no fantasy or exaggeration or whatever with me. Which means it doesn't matter if I do meet someone from lit, I am who I am both online and off. If you think you want to meet someone from lit, you have to be yourself here. Otherwise, any relationship you create, be it friendship or other, will be a farce and won't last.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Lee9104]

I haven't read through this entire thread, but have looked at a few responses. I have met in person about 8 people from lit and have become good friends with most of them. There are a few people here who I still have plans to meet in the next month or so. I am currently dating someone I met from lit last fall, and in fact, have been temporarily staying with him while looking for my own place to live after moving here.

I think the thing you have to decide when you come here is whether you are here to be yourself and make some friends/relationships, or you are here for the fantasy aspect. For myself, I don't do fantasy. I'm fairly well grounded in reality. So what you see is what you get. There is no fantasy or exaggeration or whatever with me. Which means it doesn't matter if I do meet someone from lit, I am who I am both online and off. If you think you want to meet someone from lit, you have to be yourself here. Otherwise, any relationship you create, be it friendship or other, will be a farce and won't last.

Just my 2 cents.

Hi BeachGurl2~

I think you have had such good luck in meeting people and having lasting relationships because you are keeping things *real* being yourself and honest from the start. Best of luck to you with your relocation plans and future meetings you have planned. Thanks for stopping by and putting in your two cents.

 

[celticlass]

I think it is probably too hard to keep these lists ligit. I'm sure everyone on lit has pissed at least one other person off. I know I have.

The other thing would be exercising a modicum of decorum with it. Last week, for example, I was royally pissed to find out that my own "Mr. Madly Truly" was less than, and I'd have gladly flamed him online. Now, though, I'm over him and past that, savoring sweet apathy, and I have no interest in bashing him at all. Our fantasy list would have to allow for mood changes.

 

[siren319]

The other thing would be exercising a modicum of decorum with it. Last week, for example, I was royally pissed to find out that my own "Mr. Madly Truly" was less than, and I'd have gladly flamed him online. Now, though, I'm over him and past that, savoring sweet apathy, and I have no interest in bashing him at all. Our fantasy list would have to allow for mood changes.

When I saw the list, I thought of a couple of names that became nuisances in PM but I don't know if they qualified. One was my own damn fault for even conversing with him because I knew he was a (*&^&&^%&^ so maybe next time I will just use better judgement.

 

[celticlass]

When I saw the list, I thought of a couple of names that became nuisances in PM but I don't know if they qualified. One was my own damn fault for even conversing with him because I knew he was a (*&^&&^%&^ so maybe next time I will just use better judgement.

Ah, yes. Let's hear it for bad errors in judgement. At least we survive those. I tried to save another Litster from making a mistake - found one of those infamous players - and she didn't believe me, even with written proof that he was talking about her behind her back. Maybe we'll see her here.

 

[siren319]

Ah, yes. Let's hear it for bad errors in judgement. At least we survive those. I tried to save another Litster from making a mistake - found one of those infamous players - and she didn't believe me, even with written proof that he was talking about her behind her back. Maybe we'll see her here.

That really takes a special level of denial.

 

[Lee9104]

Ah, yes. Let's hear it for bad errors in judgement. At least we survive those. I tried to save another Litster from making a mistake - found one of those infamous players - and she didn't believe me, even with written proof that he was talking about her behind her back. Maybe we'll see her here.

Hi celticlass~
You tried. As they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Sometimes it is often hard to think that someone you care for is such a *shit* even when it is staring you right in the face. If you really love the person I almost think it is harder to see and believe that they would do anything to hurt you. We always want to see the good in people.

 

[siren319]

Hi celticlass~
You tried. As they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Sometimes it is often hard to think that someone you care for is such a *shit* even when it is staring you right in the face. If you really love the person I almost think it is harder to see and believe that they would do anything to hurt you. We always want to see the good in people.

I agree here. I am pretty emotionally reserved. Okay flat emotionally cut off for the most part. It isn't often I allow myself to be vulnerable to another human being. I spent three years convincing myself that someone I actually loved, loved me. It was heartwrenching. It still defies my ability to understand, but honestly when it ended it was a huge relief. I had bound myself to him with my word (something I don't take lightly) and when he finally let me go my heart broke into a million pieces but now even a few weeks after the end. I feel so much better.

I don't think I will ever fully understand what happened, but I don't regret it. I think we have to choose to take away posative things from every relationship. He was the first person I ever made love too. Regaurdless of everything else, that is pretty special and it proved something I didn't kow before. That I was capable of letting someone past my concrete walls. So what if it hurt in the end... it felt really good too.

 

[celticlass]

That really takes a special level of denial.

I showed her that section of conversation, and she showed it to him. She thought she was the only one he chatted/cammed with, but I could read his posts and know better. Here's what gets me. When you're looking at someone on cam, you can tell when they're chatting with someone else. It's not rocket science. I mean, they're typing and the "______ is typing a message" note doesn't show on the bottom of your chat window. I think he was looking at a little "around the US booty tour." Anyway, he PMed me and said that what I did "wasn't right." Myeh, whatever.

 

[celticlass]

Hi celticlass~
You tried. As they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Sometimes it is often hard to think that someone you care for is such a *shit* even when it is staring you right in the face. If you really love the person I almost think it is harder to see and believe that they would do anything to hurt you. We always want to see the good in people.

Amen, Sister! Been there, done that, bought the movie rights.