When things move beyond Literotica

[siren319]

After knowing someone for so long, the expectations might be high

This would have to be right too, but I think it depends on how the relationship is heading anyway. The most successful meet I ever had was with someone who I had no expectation of sexual attraction. In fact it was this reason that I chose to meet him, I thought it wouldn't be an issue. I was floored when I realized that attraction was there. It was possibly one of the strongest attractions I've ever felt to someone. Maybe it has to do with timing though. If I've chatted at someone for more than a year without meeting them, I really don't want to meet them. I already have a view of them at that point and they won't match it.

 

[celticlass]

When things move beyond Lit, you can end up terribly hurt

I know it's been a while since I contributed to this thread, but I've been following it. Things with this one man moved beyond Lit, and now I'm in a world of hurt. Well, OK, admittedly, not as bad as yesterday, but still...

Too darn bad there's not a way to let others know about the ones that'll do this! Maybe a hint in a sig or something. I'd love to spare someone what I went through, but going through it just makes me a stronger, wiser person.

OK... Enough preface. I've mentioned Bob in earlier posts on this thread. For the past few weeks, things have been pretty good - good talking, hot cyber, hot phone sex. However, there was something "off," like he always had to have our encounters turn sexual, which hadn't been the case before. Cutting to the chase... Monday night on the phone, he told me he loves me (keep in mind we've been "together" for over 5 months). Not "I love you, too"; he said it first. Yesterday, he was blatantly ignoring me. He offlined me, then when I replied, he didn't respond, though I knew he was still online. He didn't return my phone calls, either. He'd also been less-than-honest about some things - little, ridiculous-to-lie-about things, at that. What really sucks is that things had started out almost perfect - he even fulfilled my heart's wishes - wishes that I hadn't told a single living soul. He met all my heart's needs, but that was before. So, time to spare my heart any further grief.

~CL

 

[siren319]

Rule #2

Don't meet someone who needs the sex thing to happen in every communication.

I hadn't thought about this because it is a huge turn off anyhow. When someone keeps asking for naked pics (do you have more? do you have more?) or tries to get me to cyber everytime we talk. It pisses me off enough, they usually end up on ignore.

 

[ken0000001]

Don't meet someone who needs the sex thing to happen in every communication.

I hadn't thought about this because it is a huge turn off anyhow. When someone keeps asking for naked pics (do you have more? do you have more?) or tries to get me to cyber everytime we talk. It pisses me off enough, they usually end up on ignore.

I agree. Got any pics?

 

[celticlass]

Don't meet someone who needs the sex thing to happen in every communication.

I hadn't thought about this because it is a huge turn off anyhow. When someone keeps asking for naked pics (do you have more? do you have more?) or tries to get me to cyber everytime we talk. It pisses me off enough, they usually end up on ignore.

So true! I get so annoyed with men asking for naked pics or who PM me just so I'll cyber with them. Makes me feel cheap, even when it's someone with whom I'm in "relationship" wanting sex all the time.

And in answer to the same darn question all the time... 33, fem, NC and if you have to ask me to fuck with you, the answer's NO!

 

[elizaloo]

So true! I get so annoyed with men asking for naked pics or who PM me just so I'll cyber with them. Makes me feel cheap, even when it's someone with whom I'm in "relationship" wanting sex all the time.

And in answer to the same darn question all the time... 33, fem, NC and if you have to ask me to fuck with you, the answer's NO!

WOW - this is the first time I've contributed to this thread - but I HAD TO. OMG - I cannot stand that - I've met a few really nice guys here (and they know well who they are - and will meet some in r/l) but I'm SICK of being PMd/IMd randomly for cyber sex and when I say no - get told off. Did I sign up to be a phone sex operator when I logged in here? Hate that feeling of being used!

And to answer the questions I always get - NO, the story is not true, read my profile, tells you all you need to know about me, naked pics only if I want to - and ASK before you add me to MSN!

 

[siren319]

I agree. Got any pics?

lol, a little footwork and you will find them. You got the line all wrong Ken... you have to ask if I have any more pics.


Celtic, I agree with you. I've cybered before and honestly it does nothing for me. So while I am typing, I am sharing something that is usually also very pleasurable for me also. I don't like doing it and so I don't. It is cheap to me. I feel like I've sold out if I cyber. If you feel that way, then I definately think you shouldn't. p.s. this is weird, my yahoo id starts with celtic so that is usually what I am referred to. I might have to call you Lass

 

[siren319]

WOW - this is the first time I've contributed to this thread - but I HAD TO. OMG - I cannot stand that - I've met a few really nice guys here (and they know well who they are - and will meet some in r/l) but I'm SICK of being PMd/IMd randomly for cyber sex and when I say no - get told off. Did I sign up to be a phone sex operator when I logged in here? Hate that feeling of being used!

And to answer the questions I always get - NO, the story is not true, read my profile, tells you all you need to know about me, naked pics only if I want to - and ASK before you add me to MSN!

maybe when we get pm'd for cyber or phone sex we should pm back with prices.

Yes I will cyber for $8.00 a minute with a 15 minute minimum up front, here is my paypal account.

Yes I will have phone sex but it will cost $20.00 a minute (hope you're fast) pay up front a minimum of 15 minutes (cause they never last that long lol)

I get called a dirty whore for saying no, so why not?

 

[celticlass]

lol, a little footwork and you will find them. You got the line all wrong Ken... you have to ask if I have any more pics.


Celtic, I agree with you. I've cybered before and honestly it does nothing for me. So while I am typing, I am sharing something that is usually also very pleasurable for me also. I don't like doing it and so I don't. It is cheap to me. I feel like I've sold out if I cyber. If you feel that way, then I definately think you shouldn't. p.s. this is weird, my yahoo id starts with celtic so that is usually what I am referred to. I might have to call you Lass

LOL... I abbreviate myself CL.

I've done the cheap mindless cybering, but I've also had the pleasure of cybering with someone with whom I had a strong emotional connection. OMGOSH!!! We're talking the difference between night and day! Cybersex is just like every other kind of sex; you can have a bunch of meaningless encounters and be fine with that if that's your thing. On the other hand, you can also have cybersex with someone special, and it's incredible!!! It's now lost a lot of its appeal, though. It'll be a while before I'm doing that again.

 

[siren319]

I have to admit, I will use it to tease but only if meetings have happened or if it is going to happen. Kind of seals the deal. Its not actually cyber though, more of a one sided thing, I almost prefer they don't participate.

 

[celticlass]

maybe when we get pm'd for cyber or phone sex we should pm back with prices.

Yes I will cyber for $8.00 a minute with a 15 minute minimum up front, here is my paypal account.

I get called a dirty whore for saying no, so why not?

Brilliant idea! And if you want to cyber with cam, then the price jumps to $12.00 a minute.

 

[siren319]

Brilliant idea! And if you want to cyber with cam, then the price jumps to $12.00 a minute.

yup and little note in the fine print... not responsible for frozen computers or lag time. The clock is still ticking.

 

[elizaloo]

maybe when we get pm'd for cyber or phone sex we should pm back with prices.

Yes I will cyber for $8.00 a minute with a 15 minute minimum up front, here is my paypal account.

Yes I will have phone sex but it will cost $20.00 a minute (hope you're fast) pay up front a minimum of 15 minutes (cause they never last that long lol)

I get called a dirty whore for saying no, so why not?

Let me know how to set that up - I'm in.

 

[Lee9104]

I know it's been a while since I contributed to this thread, but I've been following it. Things with this one man moved beyond Lit, and now I'm in a world of hurt. Well, OK, admittedly, not as bad as yesterday, but still...

Too darn bad there's not a way to let others know about the ones that'll do this! Maybe a hint in a sig or something. I'd love to spare someone what I went through, but going through it just makes me a stronger, wiser person.

OK... Enough preface. I've mentioned Bob in earlier posts on this thread. For the past few weeks, things have been pretty good - good talking, hot cyber, hot phone sex. However, there was something "off," like he always had to have our encounters turn sexual, which hadn't been the case before. Cutting to the chase... Monday night on the phone, he told me he loves me (keep in mind we've been "together" for over 5 months). Not "I love you, too"; he said it first. Yesterday, he was blatantly ignoring me. He offlined me, then when I replied, he didn't respond, though I knew he was still online. He didn't return my phone calls, either. He'd also been less-than-honest about some things - little, ridiculous-to-lie-about things, at that. What really sucks is that things had started out almost perfect - he even fulfilled my heart's wishes - wishes that I hadn't told a single living soul. He met all my heart's needs, but that was before. So, time to spare my heart any further grief.

~CL

Hi celticlass~

I am glad to see hear you have been following this thread I think it has and can continue to help people "when things move beyond Literotica". I am very sorry you are on the receiving end of what seems to happen all to often with *players* as I like to call them. Those who find entertainment in making themselves seem like the *perfect match* for you and then just when you either start to have feelings for them or in some cases have very strong feelings they drop the bomb. You have no clue what happened or why you have went from hours of chatting on the phone, emailing, and IMing to being blocked and ignored.
I know what you mean about wanting to let others know who they are so they can stay clear of these *players*. I to would love to do that as well. Many who think they know *him* and befriend him really don't have a clue as to what the real person is like or what he is capable of. On the other hand I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around. He may think he is blissfully happy now but he will get his someday. I don't think you can treat people like this and have it not catch up to you. They will get theirs and I hope it is just as good as they gave. Good luck to you. Stay strong. We are so much better then they will ever be.

 

[Lee9104]

WOW - this is the first time I've contributed to this thread - but I HAD TO. OMG - I cannot stand that - I've met a few really nice guys here (and they know well who they are - and will meet some in r/l) but I'm SICK of being PMd/IMd randomly for cyber sex and when I say no - get told off. Did I sign up to be a phone sex operator when I logged in here? Hate that feeling of being used!

And to answer the questions I always get - NO, the story is not true, read my profile, tells you all you need to know about me, naked pics only if I want to - and ASK before you add me to MSN!

Hi elizaloo~

You my friend can contribute to my thread anytime you want lol. Very well said and I couldn't agree with you more. I think it is high time *men* realize we want to have real meaningful conversations not just cyber sex. If a man can't hold a conversation with me then we won't be chatting very long. I for one am not here to have cyber sex with random men when they are in the mood lol.

 

[Confusedpuppy]

I have met quite a few girls online. I actually dated two of them. One was my longest relationship until I deployed to Iraq. She started talking to another man and he talked her into fooling around with him. A yr and a half relationship down the drain.

My second relationship, she was a model, very gorgeous. We talked for hrs and decided to meet. We started to date and she changed, she was very much about her self and I ended the relationship a month in.

The first scenario was my last relationship. Now I am single and again looking. However, I dont want to tie myself down so I am again looking for girls to chat with and meet for physical encounters. I have found the internet a great way. I love women, heavier set, shapely, not big on overly skinny women. I always tell them exactly how things will be. I want a friend, I will always be there for her but I would also like sex if she would like that as well.

I have also cybered, it does nothing for me except turn me on. But I am hell to jack off so I dont bother on myself while I am trying to please the girl. I have done this for friends and girls who are interested. I honestly love pleasing women, nothing makes me happier than giving a girl an orgasm, multiple if she is capable and I am *laughs*.

 

[celticlass]

Hi celticlass~

I am glad to see hear you have been following this thread I think it has and can continue to help people "when things move beyond Literotica". I am very sorry you are on the receiving end of what seems to happen all to often with *players* as I like to call them. Those who find entertainment in making themselves seem like the *perfect match* for you and then just when you either start to have feelings for them or in some cases have very strong feelings they drop the bomb. You have no clue what happened or why you have went from hours of chatting on the phone, emailing, and IMing to being blocked and ignored.
I know what you mean about wanting to let others know who they are so they can stay clear of these *players*. I to would love to do that as well. Many who think they know *him* and befriend him really don't have a clue as to what the real person is like or what he is capable of. On the other hand I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around. He may think he is blissfully happy now but he will get his someday. I don't think you can treat people like this and have it not catch up to you. They will get theirs and I hope it is just as good as they gave. Good luck to you. Stay strong. We are so much better then they will ever be.

Well, for a while, the feelings were mutual and we enjoyed them together. I've been in a situation where this guy dropped out of sight about two days after he knew I'd fallen for him. That sucked. In all honesty, I don't think Bob is a player at heart. He has a tender soul. We're still not getting back together, though.

 

[sseg]

a little balance please

Hi elizaloo~

You my friend can contribute to my thread anytime you want lol. Very well said and I couldn't agree with you more. I think it is high time *men* realize we want to have real meaningful conversations not just cyber sex. If a man can't hold a conversation with me then we won't be chatting very long. I for one am not here to have cyber sex with random men when they are in the mood lol.

I understand your frustrations here, in a place where men outnumber women something like 4:1 you'll get the users and predators coming out in droves and making you feel like you're viewed as produce in a redlight dictrict, but keep in mind that this is not a situation unique to MEN. Women can appear to do the exact same in similar circumstances, and it happens even here on this site. I've had it happen to me countless times in the 20-odd years I've been participating in online forums.

I don't know about other people, but when I see someone generalizing men or women based on the actions of the obnoxious ones, it tends to turn me off to wanting to talk to them.

 

[elizaloo]

Hi elizaloo~

You my friend can contribute to my thread anytime you want lol. Very well said and I couldn't agree with you more. I think it is high time *men* realize we want to have real meaningful conversations not just cyber sex. If a man can't hold a conversation with me then we won't be chatting very long. I for one am not here to have cyber sex with random men when they are in the mood lol.

Thanks very much for the welcome! I'm afraid I went on a rant there for a moment, but it was coming off the weekend when I just got my chops busted by a guy who told me to go back to f**king my husband when I bowed (I thought gracefully) out of cybering him. And he keeps asking!, still! AARRGGH But what keeps me coming (cumming?) back are the nice guys who are online when they say they will be; call when they say they will and send random texts throughout the day missing me! Those are the ones who get the payoff. Listen and learn boys.

 

[elizaloo]

I understand your frustrations here, in a place where men outnumber women something like 4:1 you'll get the users and predators coming out in droves and making you feel like you're viewed as produce in a redlight dictrict, but keep in mind that this is not a situation unique to MEN. Women can appear to do the exact same in similar circumstances, and it happens even here on this site. I've had it happen to me countless times in the 20-odd years I've been participating in online forums.

I don't know about other people, but when I see someone generalizing men or women based on the actions of the obnoxious ones, it tends to turn me off to wanting to talk to them.

Yes - you are correct, I should not have generalized about men. I LOVE men, just for the record. And women can be just as hideous. Which is why I am honest up front when someone PMs me. I tell everyone that I like to flirt and that I'm not looking for more than that. I have been seduced but it takes more than two minutes of whining about youself and expecting me to fix you. For that I would have to have a couch and a degree.

 

[celticlass]

Yes - you are correct, I should not have generalized about men. I LOVE men, just for the record. And women can be just as hideous. Which is why I am honest up front when someone PMs me. I tell everyone that I like to flirt and that I'm not looking for more than that. I have been seduced but it takes more than two minutes of whining about youself and expecting me to fix you. For that I would have to have a couch and a degree.

I have the degrees (though I prefer comfy chairs to the couch), and I still don't like whiny PMs. "My wife doesn't want to have sex 20 times a day like I want to, so she said it's OK for me to have an online affair. And she's bitchy, and she won't blow me, and she expects me to cut the yard after I've been sitting behind a desk all day in an air-conditioned office. She doesn't understand me." Guess who won't be getting cyber from this lady??? Well, unless they want to pay the $8/minute with the 15-minute up-front fee.

 

[jegm1]

My Experience

My experience occured about 10 yrs ago, her name was SweetLisa, and mine was and still is Jeg. We did the whole nine yards from chatting, to very very sexual chatting, to talking and finally meeting in Okla City.

God I was in LOVE, she was in love, we were both married with young teengers, two boys for here two girls for me. I told my friends and male cousins I was in love, they told me I was crazy what did I know about her....it could be a crazy MAN.

I went anyways and we meet at a hotel, the sex was FANTAstic and she was who she said she was. The next day I got cold feet ran home and told my wife enough so that she knew. Lisa and I talked after and I confessed I was scared as hell and was sorry.

I ended up hurting 2 people who I cared about but Lisa asked that I do not ever regret the moment and I don't.

I wrote this for me so please with no disrespect meant; I would rather no one comment.

Thanks
Jeg

 

[Lee9104]

Thanks very much for the welcome! I'm afraid I went on a rant there for a moment, but it was coming off the weekend when I just got my chops busted by a guy who told me to go back to f**king my husband when I bowed (I thought gracefully) out of cybering him. And he keeps asking!, still! AARRGGH But what keeps me coming (cumming?) back are the nice guys who are online when they say they will be; call when they say they will and send random texts throughout the day missing me! Those are the ones who get the payoff. Listen and learn boys.

No problem I think we all need to *rant* once in a while.

 

[Raidho]

Thanks very much for the welcome! I'm afraid I went on a rant there for a moment, but it was coming off the weekend when I just got my chops busted by a guy who told me to go back to f**king my husband when I bowed (I thought gracefully) out of cybering him. And he keeps asking!, still! AARRGGH But what keeps me coming (cumming?) back are the nice guys who are online when they say they will be; call when they say they will and send random texts throughout the day missing me! Those are the ones who get the payoff. Listen and learn boys.

You know what amazes me is people's proclivity for game playing.

I'm blunt and straightforward. If someone comes across as wanting cyber, etc., I politely tell them I don't think I'm what they are looking for. (I'm not a cyber partner, so thus, it is true.)

I did (am?) having a relationship that started online ... that was one of the most intriguing things that has ever happened to me. Why can't people just be honest? Is it that damned hard?

If it's over, tell me it's over. Don't say one thing and do another. Don't make promises you don't intend to keep. It really is that simple. If your mood has changed, or your needs, or whatever ... why not just state it?

Bleh. Now I've gone all ranty.

Time for another cup of coffee.

 

[Vessira]

You know what amazes me is people's proclivity for game playing.

I'm blunt and straightforward. If someone comes across as wanting cyber, etc., I politely tell them I don't think I'm what they are looking for. (I'm not a cyber partner, so thus, it is true.)

I did (am?) having a relationship that started online ... that was one of the most intriguing things that has ever happened to me. Why can't people just be honest? Is it that damned hard?

If it's over, tell me it's over. Don't say one thing and do another. Don't make promises you don't intend to keep. It really is that simple. If your mood has changed, or your needs, or whatever ... why not just state it?

Bleh. Now I've gone all ranty.

Time for another cup of coffee.

I've had a number of relationships that started online and moved into RL. Some were more satifying/lasting/etc than others. In some ways, I kind of prefer them, because if the person is honest with you, you can generally screen out people you wouldn't really get along with after a couple of conversations. I've had a mix of people who were EXACTLY what they said they were, and those who downright lied about nearly everything.

I'd LIKE to meet someone in RL that I talked to on Lit first, in fact, that's what I'm looking for. I can meet people in RL that match my persona and interests, but then when it gets to the sexual side of things, we're just not compatible. But it's hard to start a relationship with someone in RL and immediately asking them about their sexual fantasies without it turning into some one-night affair. Hopefully, Lit will end up being a place where I can talk to some people from my area, why have the same sexual tastes and appetite that I do, then I'll meet in person and hit it off with.