Woman's Sounding Board

[Native Alien]

Dear, dear Boo...haven't you learned that the people that say things like that to you only do so for one of two reasons. Either they are jealous of you and the way that you are or they wish that they were just like you.

I won't disclose the details, but there are a few here who know the truth. I am divorced, I will remain that way. I love men, and I truly believe that the next time someone says something like that to you, you should only do one thing.

Turn and look at them, smile that devilish little smile and ask sweetly, "So which is it, are you envious, or jealous?"

 

[BooMerengue]

Grinning! You're probably right Native! Others have told me the same thing!

I have this weird thing I do, well one of the weird things I do...LOL
When I want to get to know someone on the bb's I go back and look at all their posts... it tells you alot about people. I really like some of the things you've said. I'm glad you're here!

Jenny! If you don't gather up all these News Bulletins and make a paper to put them in and post them under stories you are nuts! You have the BEST sense of humor I've heard in a while... You make me laugh even when I'm desolate! TY! TY! TY!
I think we should have a grand opening... whatcha think?
I'll bring the band, and the light show...we'll have to invite all our friends... I have 3! LOL one of which is my dream man!
http://www.gifs.net/animate/a-oj2.gif

 

[BooMerengue]

I posted this once before (in the new Poems thread, even! heehee went over like a concrete cloud!) I just have to do it again... it's worth it!

Subject: Ask Dr. Laura...
Date: Tue, 1 Jul 2003 19:27:43 EDT

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a U.S. radio personality who
dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show.
Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew,
homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a
U.S. resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny,
as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding
God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and
try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need
some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem
is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them.
Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be
a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The
problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male
and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there
some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden
by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them
to death at a private family affair like we do with people who
sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,

Joe MacDougall

 

[Whimsical Whisper]

Hey where's the sexy dudes??????????? lol

Sorry, had to ask...you know me.

Ok, just finished my story and now it is time to get down to the real work....HAVING FUN!!!

So, when's the party...do I get an invite?

I BETTER!!!

Boo, don't ever be upset over something someone says...I agree with the others....they are jealous and want the kind of life you have and are just too lazy or too afraid to do their own thing.

See y'all later.

 

[Native Alien]

Such a lovely person that Dr. Laura, NOT!!!!


I never could stand that woman. She was preaching one thing and practicing another...Damn, sounds familiar, doesn't it Jenny?
lol.

 

[raegar]

AA!! Hey!Hey! What the hell am I gonna do w/ these two? They're nuts!! People peek in but they're scared to stay! ( I need to hire some studly types to come in and pose!) Not that you aren't, AA lol but you're a kept man! lol

Studly types would defeat the purpose of the thread you say Jenny and Native?? Nahhh... I mean the brainless studly types... BeefCakes!

OK! Serious discussion, you two...listen up!

A very dear friend from Chat asked me if I was bitter towards men...

I love men! In fact over the years I loved so many I got a bit of a rep! LOL And I am not gay, tho I have tried the style once... and many times people have heard me say I wish I was. But the reason flew right over their heads... I'd like to be Bi so I could have sex w/ someone and not have to feed their ego at the same time.

Why... in 2003... are men threatened by independent women? Oh yeah... I hear it all the time- "Man! I think it's so cool you being on your own and making it happen and all... so how come you don't have a guy?"

I have never married. Didn't have to. My parents early marriage was bad enough for a dozen people. And that's the only reason. Sorry- no deep dark secrets there. I am celibate 15 yrs simply to set an example to my then 12 yr old daughter. My dating and love life were w/in the normal range for a decent looking chick working in a man's world. But what it said to her was 'it's ok to have a lot of guys' etc. I didn't want that for her. And I bingo'd... she graduated from Loyola U- New Orleans w/ 2 degrees, and has a very normal sex life w/ her husband, and is a very committed, hard working young woman. And now that I'm free to fly I'm out of the notion! It's that simple. And a very good friend in real life who is gay once told me "Don't masturbate unless you just have to... a perfect self induced orgasm at will is pretty tough competition for any man." So I don't...(grinning sheepishly) Well... not often! And phone does make it funner...!!! LMAO

Are you two married? Tell me what's wrong w/ me so I have something to tell people next time this comes up... do I have a disease? Am I gonna die from it? Being my own woman I mean...

http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/flytrap.gif

Gday ladies
nothing wrong with you us men have to change the way we think

and self love is great but is better if someone can give a helping hand

 

[BooMerengue]

Welcome dear Raegar with the nicest face I've seen in a while! I hope you like it here.. it's a place for all thinking minds... regardless of what they think! We respect it all here.

I just decided I want my nipple pierced! No- I want both pierced! I wanted to do it a while bak, but changed my mind. Now I've changed it back... yup- gonna do it! But- before or after the reduction?? That's the question!

 

[Native Alien]

Do it after Boo. Depending on how much they "reduce" you, they might have to move the nipples and you will have to take out the rings anyway.

 

[Jenny _S]

Good Lunch Time...

Thought I'd pop in and say Hi since the boss left for lunch

Haven't had time to catch the news yet but I will. And Boo, If you want funny stories, I have funny stories. Mostly that's what I write. My latest (and Best) seems to be hung in the approval process, but it should be out soon.

Jenny _S: 36, divorced, goofy..., Bi (but I like women lots better )

You aren't strange, Boo... you are too much like me...

 

[Jenny _S]

NEWS FLASH

(Los Angeles) Kirmit the frog died today while playing the popular kids game "Frogger". He was reportedly struck by a semi-truck twice, tossed into the river, then eaten by an alegator as he clung for deal life to a log.

Services will be held at the Cie Appatite French Resturaunt where frog legs are a specialty (hopefully only coincidence).

*********************************
Marines with the 3rd Expaditionary Force near Bagdad today unearthed certain Weapons of Mass Destruction. These WMD's included such awesome weaponry as slingshots, pea shooters and spit wads. The commanding general remarked, "These guys really meant business. But now America is safe."

In a related story two Iraqi's were gunned down by 5,000 Marines, two M1A1 Abrams Tanks and forty-two Apache Helecopters. The Iraqi's were not immediately identified, however, rumor has it they were initially identified as #48 and 51 from the "deck of cards". In Washington, General Nathan Green, who asked not to be identified, said candidly, "Oops."

*********************************
LMAO... Gawd I'm glad it's Friday.

 

[Guest]

AA!! Hey!Hey! What the hell am I gonna do w/ these two? They're nuts!! People peek in but they're scared to stay! ( I need to hire some studly types to come in and pose!) Not that you aren't, AA lol but you're a kept man! lol

Studly types would defeat the purpose of the thread you say Jenny and Native?? Nahhh... I mean the brainless studly types... BeefCakes!

OK! Serious discussion, you two...listen up!

A very dear friend from Chat asked me if I was bitter towards men...

I love men! In fact over the years I loved so many I got a bit of a rep! LOL And I am not gay, tho I have tried the style once... and many times people have heard me say I wish I was. But the reason flew right over their heads... I'd like to be Bi so I could have sex w/ someone and not have to feed their ego at the same time.

Why... in 2003... are men threatened by independent women? Oh yeah... I hear it all the time- "Man! I think it's so cool you being on your own and making it happen and all... so how come you don't have a guy?"

I have never married. Didn't have to. My parents early marriage was bad enough for a dozen people. And that's the only reason. Sorry- no deep dark secrets there. I am celibate 15 yrs simply to set an example to my then 12 yr old daughter. My dating and love life were w/in the normal range for a decent looking chick working in a man's world. But what it said to her was 'it's ok to have a lot of guys' etc. I didn't want that for her. And I bingo'd... she graduated from Loyola U- New Orleans w/ 2 degrees, and has a very normal sex life w/ her husband, and is a very committed, hard working young woman. And now that I'm free to fly I'm out of the notion! It's that simple. And a very good friend in real life who is gay once told me "Don't masturbate unless you just have to... a perfect self induced orgasm at will is pretty tough competition for any man." So I don't...(grinning sheepishly) Well... not often! And phone does make it funner...!!! LMAO

Are you two married? Tell me what's wrong w/ me so I have something to tell people next time this comes up... do I have a disease? Am I gonna die from it? Being my own woman I mean...

http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/flytrap.gif

Hey Boo, I happen to love independent women. My best friend is a cop who is the most outspoken person I know. She's small but packs a big punch and isn't afraid to run with the big boys and beat them at their own game. She's very independent and I love her to death. I've taught my wife to be more independent since we've been together, and am trying to raise our daughter the same way. Yeah, a lot of guys are intimidated by women like that, but that's their loss if you ask me.

 

[Jenny _S]

More News...

(Nashville) Country and Western signer Kenny Chestney was found dead early this morning, victim of an apparent lynching. Mr. Chestney had been playing a gig at "Festus' Country Hideaway" when for some unknown reason he broke into singing diddy bop tunes resulting in a red-neck riot.

**************************************
(Los Angeles) Interstate I-5 was completly blocked for five hours today due to a seventy-six car pileup. Police on the scene attributed the accident to a little old lady from Pasadena who attempted to cross I-5 on foot with her walker. Asked why she crossed the road, Mrs. Elma Stanford said, "To get the other side, you moron!"

**************************************
(Jersey City, NJ) A contractor has reposessed the famous boardwalk for non-payment of repair bills. Acme Construction and Repair Company sent a crew and removed the boards from the boardwalk and carted them away to storage in an attempt to collect a two year old unpaid repair bill.

The Jersey City Manager told reporters, "Rather than pay that asshole's bill we're changing the name to 'Ricketty Structure Without Floorboards'." Some residents were concerned about the mental state of certain City officials.
***************************************
(Hollywood) Rumors abound that Michael Jackson has been turned down for his 11,386th plastic surgury. A spoksman for Cedar Sinai Medical Center said, "We don't really see it that way. Mr. Jackson has had so many plastic surguries that it's not really him any more but a large lump of silicone. Mr. Jackson's entire body has, in fact, already been completely replaced and there is nothing left for us to do."
***************************************
(New York City) It was announced today that Marge and Homer Simpson are seeking a divorce on the grounds of sexual cruelty. Homer claims that after 6 years on TV Marge still hasn't put out once.

In a related story, Marge Simpson told reporters that daughter Lisa Simpson is pregnant. The father is assumed to be the Krusty the Clown, the police man, the bar tender or the drunk. No one, including Lisa Simpson is quite sure. Bart seemed to be "out of town" and unavailable for comment.
*****************************************

 

[Native Alien]

Geeze Jenny that last bunch deserved a swallow any liquid in mouth and put down liquid container warning. lol.

I agree with Nudecop. Women need to be more independent.

 

[Native Alien]

This is just for Boo....

"Dr. Laura" is no longer the most famous Orthodox Jew in America:

Schlessinger [who converted to Judaism with much public fanfare about 5 years ago] began her August 5 program by noting that, prior to each broadcast, she spends an hour reading faxes from fans and listeners. "By and large the faxes from Christians have been very loving, very supportive," she said. "From my own religion, I have either gotten nothing, which is 99% of it, or two of the nastiest letters I have gotten in a long time. I guess that's my point -- I don't get much back. Not much warmth coming back."
In other words, "Doctor" (Ph.D. in Exercise Physiology) Schlessinger's measure of the value of a religion appears to come down to "What's In It For Me?"

Schlessinger even hinted at a possible turn to Christianity -- a move that, radio insiders say, would elevate her career far beyond the 300 stations that currently syndicate her show.
Hmmm.....

 

[Jenny _S]

Oh.. What the hell?

Friday night and everyone is asleep?? Sheesh!

 

[Native Alien]

It is early yet and some folks still don't have power.

 

[BooMerengue]

Re: Oh.. What the hell?

Friday night and everyone is asleep?? Sheesh!

Oh hell!!! I'm not asleep!! I just got thru cleaning the Pepsi off the monitor! Damn Jenny! You DO need to issue some kind of warning to folks before they read this stuff!!

And, on a more serious note, you also REALLY need to make these items into a cohesive newspaper and post it as a story! If you don't get straight 5's and some kind of award, then there is NOTHING fair in the world and we should start making the KoolAid!! Oh, god, I love it!!

And- to make tonight special I brought along some friends...
http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/band.gif

and some decorations...
http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/animirrorball.gif

 

[Native Alien]

I have a feeling that Boo is about to bust loose.

 

[Jenny _S]

hmmm...

I have a feeling that Boo is about to bust loose.

Me thinks so too, Native....
And you should have warned her about me

 

[Native Alien]

Who, me? I ain't warning noone about anyone. They never believe me anyway. lol.

 

[Jenny _S]

Who, me? I ain't warning noone about anyone. They never believe me anyway. lol.

LMAO... She'll learn

 

[BooMerengue]

Who, me? I ain't warning noone about anyone. They never believe me anyway. lol.

http://animatedgif.net/facessmiles/sjsmallfaceanim_e0.gif

Wooeeeeeeee!! I love licking stamps from Amsterdamn!!
okkkkkkk Warn me about what?

 

[Jenny _S]

http://animatedgif.net/facessmiles/sjsmallfaceanim_e0.gif

Wooeeeeeeee!! I love licking stamps from Amsterdamn!!
okkkkkkk Warn me about what?

Um... oh... um... Nothing, Boo... we weren't saying anything at all

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by Native Alien
It is early yet and some folks still don't have power.

i just got the power back....thank god....Hugggs all

 

[Jenny _S]

Power?

i just got the power back....thank god....Hugggs all

Was the power out? That never happens in summer time. How very odd.