Woman's Sounding Board

[BooMerengue]

Well... I'm awake now!! Pssttt... Native? Don't tell Jenny I asked you this... is she ok? I mean...*points to my head* that kind of ok? How in hell can any one person come up w/ so much info so fast? I didn't speak earlier cuz I was laying over there on the floor cracking up... I'm gonna marry her! I'm not lesbian, not even Bi... but how else can I keep her around? We're not allowed slaves anymore... well not legally anyway!

OKkkkkkkk......... Here's another picture... We'll try this again... 25 words or less...(or more) Essay or Poem entitled...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
http://www.gif-para.de/Feuer/Feuer_1/bomb_63_6kb.gif

 

[Native Alien]

What The Fuck Is This?

The United States exploding from the amount of bullshit, handed out by the government at any one particular moment in time.

I know what you mean about Jenny. She is harmless.

 

[Jenny _S]

(Detroit) Ms Betty Lloyd of Detroit along with the entire varsity football team from East Detroit High School were rescued from an elevator stuck in the building where she works for the City of Detroit Education Department. Ms. Lloyd and the team had been in the elevator when the blackout occured.

When asked what they did to keep themselves occupied during the 19 hour inprisonment Ms. Lloyd responded, "Oh, you know. We sang and played games."

As Ms. Lloyd was dragged kicking and screaming from the elevator she was heard to scream, "You guys call me. Ok? 555-764-5301."

 

[Native Alien]

Ahh..yes...elevator sex, some of the best. lol. Good afternoon Jenny. lol.

 

[Jenny _S]

Mmmm

Ahh..yes...elevator sex, some of the best. lol. Good afternoon Jenny. lol.

Good morning Native

 

[Jenny _S]

(Kampala, Uganda) Former Dictator and Game Show Host, Ide Amine was buried today in Saudi Arabia. The gravesite service drew well wishers from all over the arab world. Most conspicuous was a seven foot horseshoe shaped wreith with a banner reading, "Way To Go, Dude." It was reportably signed, "You friends Osama and Saddam."

At the time of burial it was discovered that Mr. Amine's penis was missing and believed lost. The funeral director, Mr. Adula Farsi, remarked to our reporters after the funeral, "It is sad, the loss of this little dick. But, at least, the big dick is in the ground now."

************************************
(New York) Ebay, the internet home shopping giant is actioning off a penis. The bidding is scheduled to begin later today. It is not clear who "donated" the article but the wayward "digit" is described to be "black and over 10" long."

 

[Native Alien]

Jenny, you are going to cause me to have sore ribs from laughing my ass off at your news items.

 

[shopperst]

Just came across this thread, great idea & some great posts in it

Shopper

 

[Jenny _S]

???

Just came across this thread, great idea & some great posts in it

Shopper

There are? I'll have to tell Boo to put a stop to that!!

 

[Native Alien]

Oh no...great posts. we are so in trouble now Jenny...lol.

 

[Jenny _S]

Hmmm

Oh no...great posts. we are so in trouble now Jenny...lol.

It always happens... you are posting away and some stranger comes in and tells you you are doing it right. Damn!

 

[Native Alien]

So what do we do now Jenny? I mean Boo will come back and we will be in soooooooo much trouble.

 

[Jenny _S]

Ummm

So what do we do now Jenny? I mean Boo will come back and we will be in soooooooo much trouble.

Try and look busy... and act real dumb... maybe she won't notice

 

[Jenny _S]

(Farden, Iowa) Mr. Clyde Beesley of Farden reported to the Sheriff's office that he had been abducted by aliens. Mr. Beesley claimed Friday night he was hitch hiking along country road 29 when a brightly lit van picked him up and gave him a ride.

Mr. Beesley described the aliens as, "Long haired guys with weird ray guns shaped like guitars. The was smoking some real sweet-stinky stuff too." Mr. Beesley went on to describe a female alien who, he claimed had really big "bazookas" and tried to breed with him. The aliens refered to themselves as being from the Planet "Satan's Grace" and were cruising the area looking for a "gig."

Fortunately, Mr. Beesley escaped at a stop sign by leaping from the van and running across Fullers corn field before the aliens could complete their "experiments" on him.

Mr. Fuller was admitted to the West Side Community Hospital Mental Care Facility where he is reported doing well with massive doses of Thorizine and the latest issue of "Grit" magaize.

 

[Mysticcal]

omg I should have learned to not read your posts Jenny just as I am taking a drink, keep having to clean the keyboard and monitor off LOL!

Hope you ladies are doing well today. I am sitting at work trying to be distracted....doing pretty well now

 

[Native Alien]

I keep telling her that she needs to post a swallow and put down the drink container warning. But does she listen to me??? Noooo.

 

[Mysticcal]

That would be the responsible thing to do....bystanders could be hurt accidently, or potential for choking, all kinds of dangers that should be warned about. Not to forget the side pains that come periodically from reading the posts, doubled over in laughter.

 

[Native Alien]

Uh oh...there is that "R" word again. lol.

 

[Jenny _S]

More News

(New York City) Mayor Michael Bloomberg appointed a special commission to study the problem of crop circles in the five borrows today. Heading up the commission will be Internatioanlly noted UFO expert and local nut case, Robert Grinze. Mr. Grinze is planning a full blown survey of all five borrows beginning next week. Mr. Glinze is currently scheduled for release from Belvue next Friday.

When asked to comment on the fact there are no crops in New York City the Mayor said, "Yes, that may be true. But that doesn't explain the lack of crop circles. Iowa has them. So Kansas and a lot of other states. I want to know why this city is losing the crop circle race."

*******************************
(Battle Creek, Michigan) Police discover the body of a man dead in his apartment near downtown Battle Creek this morning. The man identified as Captain Cirus Krunch, was found in his bathtub by his landlady, Mrs. Edna Fobisher.

In an interview, Mrs. Fobisher told reporters, "It was horrible. That poor man was dead in a bath tub full of milk. I would never have believed." Mrs. Fobish had no further details.

The Corornor at the scene indicated the body had been sprinkled with sugar and fruit. Later at a press conference the Corornor and the city District Attorney called for an all out man hunt, calling the murder "a cereal killing".

Heh heh heh

 

[Jenny _S]

Hmmmm

That would be the responsible thing to do....bystanders could be hurt accidently, or potential for choking, all kinds of dangers that should be warned about. Not to forget the side pains that come periodically from reading the posts, doubled over in laughter.

Don't think I know you Mysticcal...

(But I'm quite sure I'll find something funny to say about you eventually )

 

[Mysticcal]

oops, sorry about the "r" word NA...will watch using that one.

Jenny *groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn* LOL

 

[Jenny _S]

oops, sorry about the "r" word NA...will watch using that one.

Jenny *groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn* LOL

LMAO

 

[Native Alien]

GGGGGrrrrrrooooaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn.

 

[Jenny _S]

Come on, you two...

GGGGGrrrrrrooooaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn.

I have to throw a groaner in once in a while...

 

[Native Alien]

I think that I would prefer a moaner instead. lol.