❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[AnnieLit]

I'm not, actually.

How do you train someone to do that? Does it take a long time?

<I am going to be killed for this>
I don't believe it is real.

Let me explain: every dom I ever played with, every dom I ever got close to playing with, either mentioned traing me for this, or tried to actually do it. At least two, if you ask them, will tell you that they succeeded, that I did cum for them on command.

Sorry guys, I did not. Yes, I did cum, and yes, it was after the command, but not because of it. If you are told that you are not allowed to cum and than stimulated pretty hard, you will hold off for a while, right? If your partner is half good at reading your body, he wil know when you are so close, that you can't hold back anymore. Then they have a choice: they can either slow down, let you cool a bit, get you away from the edge, or they can give you permission to cum and enjoy the spectacle. If that permission was in the form "Cum for me. Now!!!" did you cum on command? Well, yes, sort of. But if they said "Good girl, you can cum now, don't hold back." the result would be the same. And even if they said nothing at all, the result still would be the same, because there is only so much a body can take, at some point it is not possible to hold back an orgasm.

I believe it is possible to train to be able to regularly get to a situation when orgasm closely follows a command, only it is the dom that needs to train for that, not the sub. He needs to learn her body enough to know when any tiny thing will send her there. Then what anybody watching will see is a sub cumming on command.

How in the world do doms manage to convince themselves that their command has anything to do with it, I have no idea. But they do. Both praised me afterwords for being such a good sub, for being able to do it. Both were very proud of themselves for "training" me. I did not say anything to either one, let boys have their toys, right? (One of them might read this now, but by this time I don't care much about his ego.)

 

[Acktion]

<I am going to be killed for this>
I don't believe it is real.

Let me explain: every dom I ever played with, every dom I ever got close to playing with, either mentioned traing me for this, or tried to actually do it. At least two, if you ask them, will tell you that they succeeded, that I did cum for them on command.

Sorry guys, I did not. Yes, I did cum, and yes, it was after the command, but not because of it. If you are told that you are not allowed to cum and than stimulated pretty hard, you will hold off for a while, right? If your partner is half good at reading your body, he wil know when you are so close, that you can't hold back anymore. Then they have a choice: they can either slow down, let you cool a bit, get you away from the edge, or they can give you permission to cum and enjoy the spectacle. If that permission was in the form "Cum for me. Now!!!" did you cum on command? Well, yes, sort of. But if they said "Good girl, you can cum now, don't hold back." the result would be the same. And even if they said nothing at all, the result still would be the same, because there is only so much a body can take, at some point it is not possible to hold back an orgasm.

I believe it is possible to train to be able to regularly get to a situation when orgasm closely follows a command, only it is the dom that needs to train for that, not the sub. He needs to learn her body enough to know when any tiny thing will send her there. Then what anybody watching will see is a sub cumming on command.

How in the world do doms manage to convince themselves that their command has anything to do with it, I have no idea. But they do. Both praised me afterwords for being such a good sub, for being able to do it. Both were very proud of themselves for "training" me. I did not say anything to either one, let boys have their toys, right? (One of them might read this now, but by this time I don't care much about his ego.)

Sorry to disappoint, AnnieLit, but this is actually a possible thing.

Sadly, my wife of two and a half decades is no longer around to give you her version of events. And, truth be told, I don't think she had any more idea just how I managed it than I do. And I have doubts that I ever could manage it again with anyone else.

However, as one example, at one of her work Christmas parties, I was able to make her climax from across the room as we were mingling and talking with other people just by meeting her eyes and tilting my head a certain way. Not once but seven times before she decided we would cut the evening short and go for round three (rounds one and two being before we pulled on our public personas).

***shrug***

I don't insist that I could do it for anyone else. (In fact, I doubt it strongly.) Nor that it would be possible for you or anyone else reading this with "the right one."

But, I do know that I did manage it with her.

Now, whether it was the slave in her responding to her Master or the woman responding to the man she loved, or whether the nymph in her was yearning for more of her satyr and knowing more would be forthcoming, that I couldn't hazard a guess.

 

[AnnieLit]

However, as one example, at one of her work Christmas parties, I was able to make her climax from across the room as we were mingling and talking with other people just by meeting her eyes and tilting my head a certain way. Not once but seven times before she decided we would cut the evening short and go for round three (rounds one and two being before we pulled on our public personas)..

Seven full blown orgasms in a couple hours? Or you are talking about a spasm or two?

 

[Acktion]

During the Christmas party? Full blown.

I mean, don't get me wrong. She didn't scream, "Oh, fuck yes!" and fall down drooling on herself as her eyes rolled back in her head. (Although there was that seventy-two-hour training session in a hotel room in Dallas in 92...)

However...

Well, Love had her left knee blown apart back in 73. And rather than doing the smart thing and amputating, the did the most damnable "fix" I've ever heard of. A couple of decades of running around on it, raising a couple of great kids, and just living her life took its toll. And by the time of the Christmas party I mentioned, she was walking with the aid of a cane with a cuff around her forearm.

When those moments took her, it weakened her knees and she had to lean heavily on the cane when she was standing. She played it off as pain for her co-workers and supervisors. Hell, even I wondered if it was pain a couple of times when I was close enough to see that telltale vein throb in her forehead. And worried enough that she had to take my hand in the car and put it between her soaked thighs, through not only panties but the panty-liner that she swore she only needed when I was around to prove to me that she was not only alright but good to go.

But, and this is (I think) highly germane. We had been together for a long time. Not weeks or even months, but more than a decade by the time of that Christmas party. And in a lot of ways, she knew me better than she did herself as I pushed her past what she had once believed her limits and taught her to fly. Well enough that in that look, she was able to tell within a hair or two just what I was thinking about doing to her, with her, for her. And, within a minute or two, how long. And I knew her well enough that I hadn't heard her safeword for a long, long time as I took her to the edge of what she could endure and backed off just before she would have uttered it.

***shrug***

Not that I disagree with you completely. I also don't see how it could be possible without a lot of time and involvement. And complete, total, and abject surrender. To each other.

 

[AnnieLit]

During the Christmas party? Full blown.

I mean, don't get me wrong. She didn't scream, "Oh, fuck yes!" and fall down drooling on herself as her eyes rolled back in her head. (Although there was that seventy-two-hour training session in a hotel room in Dallas in 92...)

However...

Well, Love had her left knee blown apart back in 73. And rather than doing the smart thing and amputating, the did the most damnable "fix" I've ever heard of. A couple of decades of running around on it, raising a couple of great kids, and just living her life took its toll. And by the time of the Christmas party I mentioned, she was walking with the aid of a cane with a cuff around her forearm.

When those moments took her, it weakened her knees and she had to lean heavily on the cane when she was standing. She played it off as pain for her co-workers and supervisors. Hell, even I wondered if it was pain a couple of times when I was close enough to see that telltale vein throb in her forehead. And worried enough that she had to take my hand in the car and put it between her soaked thighs, through not only panties but the panty-liner that she swore she only needed when I was around to prove to me that she was not only alright but good to go.

But, and this is (I think) highly germane. We had been together for a long time. Not weeks or even months, but more than a decade by the time of that Christmas party. And in a lot of ways, she knew me better than she did herself as I pushed her past what she had once believed her limits and taught her to fly. Well enough that in that look, she was able to tell within a hair or two just what I was thinking about doing to her, with her, for her. And, within a minute or two, how long. And I knew her well enough that I hadn't heard her safeword for a long, long time as I took her to the edge of what she could endure and backed off just before she would have uttered it.

***shrug***

Not that I disagree with you completely. I also don't see how it could be possible without a lot of time and involvement. And complete, total, and abject surrender. To each other.

Yes, after a decade long marriage I do believe it is possible. When in the right mood to begin with the idea, the promise of what to come might be enough.

I don't think any of the doms that talked about "training" me meant it this way though. Their timeline was a few months at best, and even that without constant contact.

 

[lovetobesucked]

I don't remember what prompted this, but my current area of interest when watching porn is women who climax on demand. That just amazes me.

Takes a fair amount of practice. When it actually happens. I state the last part because of who your talking about.

Women that get paid to climax on demand.

 

[AnnieLit]

Just because it’s not in your world doesn’t mean it’s not in The world, Annie.

My problem with the concept is not so much that it is not in my world, a lot of things are not, this does not make them any less real, but that it is in the world of each and every of my partners, including potential ones.

The idea seems to be way too prevailing, especially given how easy it is to misinterpret a situation. As I said, there is a couple doms that are 100% sure that they achieved it with me. And it was not that I faked, or lied, or anything like that.

What Acktion is talking about is different. It's a state of high arousal, but put on mainly by your own mind -- memory, imagination, whatever else, combined with very physical stimulation earlier that still has it's lingering effects.

 

[Acktion]

My problem with the concept is not so much that it is not in my world, a lot of things are not, this does not make them any less real, but that it is in the world of each and every of my partners, including potential ones.

The idea seems to be way too prevailing, especially given how easy it is to misinterpret a situation. As I said, there is a couple doms that are 100% sure that they achieved it with me. And it was not that I faked, or lied, or anything like that.

What Acktion is talking about is different. It's a state of high arousal, but put on mainly by your own mind -- memory, imagination, whatever else, combined with very physical stimulation earlier that still has it's lingering effects.

Ah. Now that I really couldn't say as I have come to the conclusion that I just flat fuckin' suck at LDR. Can't do it and will save myself and others the aggravation of me tryin' anymore.

(Nor am I an insta-dom [just add kneeling here].)

About the closest I've come there, I think, is "countdown to cummies." And that's been a little more trying to judge just how excited she is and using the countdown to postpone it just a little longer and stirring the anticipation.

"...three... two and three quarters... are you sure you're ready?...maybe I should start over... No?... one and a half..."

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Takes a fair amount of practice. When it actually happens. I state the last part because of who your talking about.

Women that get paid to climax on demand.

Bold of you to assume that you know what kind of porn I watch.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

#74

Remember me??

Basic question but complex feelings (at least for me).

Spitting.
Love it? Hate it? Is spitting some places ok with you but totally awful others? Does the intention of the spit matter? Lubrication v. Humiliation etc.

Back to PLP's question (Hi PLP)

I'm with Annie on this one. Spit is a poor lube compared to, well, lube. Even for a handjob. If I am slick with saliva and a handy is the next step, the lube better be nearby, because the spit isn't going to last, and I don't really want you to spit on my unit. The other fluids that result from sex are always on the table (and the sheets, her belly, my beard...)

Humiliation is a difficult thing for me. I lost a playmate (she ghosted) from my inability to humiliate her enough. Spitting on her would be a step too far.

Play nice.

 

[Moochienanu]

<I am going to be killed for this>
I don't believe it is real.

Let me explain: every dom I ever played with, every dom I ever got close to playing with, either mentioned traing me for this, or tried to actually do it. At least two, if you ask them, will tell you that they succeeded, that I did cum for them on command.

Sorry guys, I did not. Yes, I did cum, and yes, it was after the command, but not because of it. If you are told that you are not allowed to cum and than stimulated pretty hard, you will hold off for a while, right? If your partner is half good at reading your body, he wil know when you are so close, that you can't hold back anymore. Then they have a choice: they can either slow down, let you cool a bit, get you away from the edge, or they can give you permission to cum and enjoy the spectacle. If that permission was in the form "Cum for me. Now!!!" did you cum on command? Well, yes, sort of. But if they said "Good girl, you can cum now, don't hold back." the result would be the same. And even if they said nothing at all, the result still would be the same, because there is only so much a body can take, at some point it is not possible to hold back an orgasm.

I believe it is possible to train to be able to regularly get to a situation when orgasm closely follows a command, only it is the dom that needs to train for that, not the sub. He needs to learn her body enough to know when any tiny thing will send her there. Then what anybody watching will see is a sub cumming on command.

How in the world do doms manage to convince themselves that their command has anything to do with it, I have no idea. But they do. Both praised me afterwords for being such a good sub, for being able to do it. Both were very proud of themselves for "training" me. I did not say anything to either one, let boys have their toys, right? (One of them might read this now, but by this time I don't care much about his ego.)

Sorry Annie, but if He says the four words I need, even if it’s over Skype message, I am a cumpuddle. I have learned better than to listen to His messages at work now (in front of anyone) because of it.

 

[Moochienanu]

#74

Remember me??

Basic question but complex feelings (at least for me).

Spitting.
Love it? Hate it? Is spitting some places ok with you but totally awful others? Does the intention of the spit matter? Lubrication v. Humiliation etc.

Oh! A question?! I’m good with those.

Yes, I remember and like you very much.

This is complex.

I used to be very anti-spit.
I used to keep my sucking tidy, try not to get dripping happening, etc.
I used to abhor seeing drool roll from the mouth of a gagged sub,
Heck, even the term “swapping spit” used to make me cringe...

But now, when I want to be sloppy while sucking?
I love it because He can thrust Himself
Deeper into my throat.

But now, when I have a gag in and allow the drool to run?
I love it because I think of His smack of funishment
For allowing the drool to run down my breasts.

But now, when we kiss and He’s above me?
I love to feel His saliva and mine together
Like a new, warm nectar I drink from Him.

Do I think it’s lube? No.
Actual act of spitting on me? Please don’t.

 

[Ropebunny]

#74

Remember me??

Basic question but complex feelings (at least for me).

Spitting.
Love it? Hate it? Is spitting some places ok with you but totally awful others? Does the intention of the spit matter? Lubrication v. Humiliation etc.

I like it. Can’t say love it, but do enjoy it on some level. We went through a phase a while back that involved a lot of spitting but now it only happens on the odd occasion, which I think I prefer. I don’t care about location but you’ll get a much more visceral reaction from spitting in my mouth than anywhere else. Don’t like spit as lubrication though, it just performs poorly. Would always prefer my juices or lube if available over spit. The appeal is all very much about humiliation for me - being spat on is a surefire way to guarantee feeling small and less than which is a feeling I love playing with.

 

[twister947]

Coffee mouth to mouth first thing in the morning...coffee slobber ftw.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

...if He says the four words I need, even if it’s over Skype message, I am a cumpuddle.

*Ding!* Of course! It's not about the body, it's about the mind! How did I miss this?

I guess it's been a minute since anyone's had that effect on me. I'm a hard nut to crack.

 

[cookiecat]

#74

Remember me??

Basic question but complex feelings (at least for me).

Spitting.
Love it? Hate it? Is spitting some places ok with you but totally awful others? Does the intention of the spit matter? Lubrication v. Humiliation etc.

Hey you!

I love/ hate the spit.

NOT as lube. Lube is lube and needs to be used accordingly. I feel like the spit as lube is a dumb porn move. Plus I don't want you hocking up your spit in my treasure of a cunt. Or my asshole. Come on! Lube up that hole and - as someone else posted - play nice.

That being said, in the right moment, spit - for me - is amazing. It's an amazing jolt right to arousal. Like a slap in the face. Heavenly. And hell. But I get off on that confusion. The whole "treat me like a whore but wait! I'm a princess, you CAN'T do that to me!" is super arousing.

I remember getting ready to go out. Looking all pretty, made up and making us late. He was getting irritated because of the late part. He'd had enough, he came in to the bathroom. Always a super quiet voice, never yelling - he said let's go.

One more minute! Nope. No. Put his hands in my hair, pulled gently, put me on my knees. I got all happy thinking Yay! blowjob before we go. Nope. No. He looked down at me, spit on my face and rubbed it all over. Called me a selfish girl and then fucked my face.

I was horrified, mad, indignant - I was pissed because I wasn't pretty anymore, he smeared my makeup! In a moment, though, I was choking on his cock and got pretty wet and melty. Ha! Just like my makeup. He came on my face and told me to get cleaned up.

He said at least now we'll be late for a good reason.

Spit should be used sparingly. Like the slap or kissing his shoe or even being put in a corner. In the right moment. I like (but hate but love) being thrown off, being pushed out of my comfort zone.

If I was spit on by a casual play partner or outside of a trusting, loving relationship, my reaction would be much different.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

cookie, I love hearing your stories.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#75 (holy shit)

#75

Basic Elements

There is an interesting discussion happening in BDSM Talk about what actually makes someone a Dom or a sub. We know there are lots of variety in every label. But at it's most basic, what do you think makes a <insert your label>? What about the opposite side of your slash? (I.e. what makes you a sub? What makes her a domme? At it's most basic)

I know not everyone ascribes to or loves labels and I completely understand that. But this is a discussion about people who do choose to identify themselves.

 

[AveryElle]

I'm not a sub, per se (tendencies, sure), I'm a masochist. Seeing the look in someone's eyes when they have left their mark(s) on me, or hearing the change in their voice when they're tugging at my hair...that's as much a turn on as the pain itself. And that's why I, personally, most identify as an M, when asked to provide a label. I think people like pain for different reasons, but for me, it's that as mentioned but also testing my limits.

I can't discuss what makes my various partners sadists, but I think some are truly sadistic motherfuckers on many levels....some just like it in the moment, and some like knowing the pain lasts well beyond the specific session, because there's a specific power to that. "Remember what it felt like when my belt hit your burning red ass?" and I can feel it all over again.

I think this is what's being asked, but looking forward to what others thing - especially if there are other people on the s&m side of things vs the D/s part.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Thread title please?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Thread title please?

It takes a quick turn but you can find the inspiration >>>here<<<

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

It takes a quick turn but you can find the inspiration >>>here<<<

Lol! I had seen the first several posts um... last week, maybe, and had dismissed it. I'll keep reading.

 

[AlpineFresco]

#75

Basic Elements

There is an interesting discussion happening in BDSM Talk about what actually makes someone a Dom or a sub. We know there are lots of variety in every label. But at it's most basic, what do you think makes a <insert your label>? What about the opposite side of your slash? (I.e. what makes you a sub? What makes her a domme? At it's most basic)

I know not everyone ascribes to or loves labels and I completely understand that. But this is a discussion about people who do choose to identify themselves.

I identify as a Dom/Top-Sadist, because I enjoy inflicting certain kinds of pain, for various different reasons - the physicality of the act, as well as the response in the moment (physical reactions, sounds) and any lasting impressions are all a turn-on. Knowing that a hard slap in the right place turns them on? Knowing that someone is suffering (again, in some specific ways) because of what I've done/not done? Wonderful feelings. I don't need to be always in charge of everything (but sometimes!), but I do like to know I can take that control when I want.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

...I never identified as a submissive until the day where I could feel my soul drop to its knees. I was never anyone's before, and I may never be anyone's again. But I am his.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#76

#76 (suggested)

Mental Exploration

Do you learn your partner's feelings and needs from observation or by asking directly? Does it diminish the mystique and allure by asking? How much do you want to know about your partners inner life?