❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[AveryElle]

No. I'm aware I can't compete with Avery's washing machine.

Well, it does work a few times day. It’s a young person’s game, I’m afraid.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#72

#72

Expectations.

Do you ever worry that the expectations put on you as a PYL/Pyle are unattainable? Do you try to temper or meet your partners expectations?

 

[Bramblethorn]

#71

Theory v Reality

We've had the question posed - how does stress or overwork or worry affect your kink? Well guys... how is it being affected? Because I'm all three at the moment.

Have you lost all libido or does all this stress make you crave something to take it out on? Does it ebb and flow?

Missed this one earlier.

Libido is fine, but finding the time (when we're both awake) is another matter. Busy busy. Lots of flirting but no opportunity to act on it.

My partner needs me to put some drops in her ears three times a day and I've taken to pornifying the process. "Oh yeah, baby, are you ready for this? I'm gonna s-q-u-e-e-z-e all this into you... gonna fill you up... then we're gonna roll you over and do the other side..." along with little groans along the way. That's the most we've done in the last couple of weeks.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Missed this one earlier.

Libido is fine, but finding the time (when we're both awake) is another matter. Busy busy. Lots of flirting but no opportunity to act on it.

My partner needs me to put some drops in her ears three times a day and I've taken to pornifying the process. "Oh yeah, baby, are you ready for this? I'm gonna s-q-u-e-e-z-e all this into you... gonna fill you up... then we're gonna roll you over and do the other side..." along with little groans along the way. That's the most we've done in the last couple of weeks.

Medical play ftw!

 

[AveryElle]

#72

Expectations.

Do you ever worry that the expectations put on you as a PYL/Pyle are unattainable? Do you try to temper or meet your partners expectations?

No. The limits in terms of my masochism are that I don’t like to return to my spouse bruised. It’s not really...polite? I also don’t go to another partner with bruises from home if I can avoid it.

However, I always try to temper expectations. I repeatedly tell Alpine that he should set the bar so low that I can meet it.

ETA knowing a partner has a kinkier life with another partner does impact me. I’m not going to compete for who is kinkier. doing things with them that I know they do and like with their other partner(s) is not really as enjoyable. I end up pushing my limits and boundaries for the wrong reason. If that sentence makes sense at all.

 

[midwestyankee]

Bump

Grind.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#73

Challenges and Games

Do you or have you ever include little challenges or games as a part of your dynamic? Does creating or completing a challenge make you feel more D/s/pyl? Can they be part of a larger thing or just a bit of fun?

Bonus points: Tell us about a game/challenge that you've done or plan to do!!

 

[base10]

#73

Challenges and Games

Do you or have you ever include little challenges or games as a part of your dynamic? Does creating or completing a challenge make you feel more D/s/pyl? Can they be part of a larger thing or just a bit of fun?

Bonus points: Tell us about a game/challenge that you've done or plan to do!!

My little challenges generally are around when she is allowed to cum. She must get to the edge 5 times before she's allowed to cum. Masturbate one minute on, one minute off.

The naughtiest might be around drinking water and using the bathroom. Making her have permission to pee, but also making her drink a certain amount of water before using the bathroom. An extra amount of control, but not sure if I'd consider a game.

 

[AveryElle]

#73

Challenges and Games

Do you or have you ever include little challenges or games as a part of your dynamic? Does creating or completing a challenge make you feel more D/s/pyl? Can they be part of a larger thing or just a bit of fun?

Bonus points: Tell us about a game/challenge that you've done or plan to do!!

Yes with some.
No with others.

I enjoy it, it's fun and sexy. I don't need "part of a larger thing" - I leave full time dynamics for other people to enjoy

 

[midwestyankee]

#73

Challenges and Games

Do you or have you ever include little challenges or games as a part of your dynamic? Does creating or completing a challenge make you feel more D/s/pyl? Can they be part of a larger thing or just a bit of fun?

Bonus points: Tell us about a game/challenge that you've done or plan to do!!

I have been quite fond of using games or, more accurately, randomized setups in play. By this I mean things like insisting that my partner count thrusts and hold off on her climax until a secret total has been reached. Or setting a timer to an elapsed time that I don't reveal and expecting her to hold off climax until the timer goes off. Another fun one was based on a blind-folded partner guessing what color candy I had put in her mouth. A correct guess would lead to, say, 5 minutes of pleasurable sensations. An incorrect guess would be followed by the same duration of painful sensations.

 

[base10]

I have been quite fond of using games or, more accurately, randomized setups in play. By this I mean things like insisting that my partner count thrusts and hold off on her climax until a secret total has been reached. Or setting a timer to an elapsed time that I don't reveal and expecting her to hold off climax until the timer goes off. Another fun one was based on a blind-folded partner guessing what color candy I had put in her mouth. A correct guess would lead to, say, 5 minutes of pleasurable sensations. An incorrect guess would be followed by the same duration of painful sensations.

I like the timer for cumming, but she doesn't know the time

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#74

#74

Remember me??

Basic question but complex feelings (at least for me).

Spitting.
Love it? Hate it? Is spitting some places ok with you but totally awful others? Does the intention of the spit matter? Lubrication v. Humiliation etc.

 

[AnnieLit]

#74

Remember me??

Basic question but complex feelings (at least for me).

Spitting.
Love it? Hate it? Is spitting some places ok with you but totally awful others? Does the intention of the spit matter? Lubrication v. Humiliation etc.

That would be a no for me, I am not a big fan of body fluids, save for one

If anybody ever tries to use spit for lube with me, I think the scene will be immediately over. Because...well...spit does not work for that! If I do need lube, then use the propper one, and if I don't, no need to pretend otherwise.

I guess the only exception would be using my spit before a handjob, but I would not call the process of getting it on the cock spitting.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

...By this I mean things like insisting that my partner count thrusts and hold off on her climax until a secret total has been reached. Or setting a timer to an elapsed time that I don't reveal and expecting her to hold off climax until the timer goes off.

I don't remember what prompted this, but my current area of interest when watching porn is women who climax on demand. That just amazes me.

 

[soltiera]

That would be a no for me, I am not a big fan of body fluids, save for one

If anybody ever tries to use spit for lube with me, I think the scene will be immediately over. Because...well...spit does not work for that! If I do need lube, then use the propper one, and if I don't, no need to pretend otherwise.

I guess the only exception would be using my spit before a handjob, but I would not call the process of getting it on the cock spitting.

Exactly! Big NO! (however, in the moment, I probably wouldn't say no. I'd just squick out after! And refuse to ever allow that again.) But then again, I'm not huge on kisses either. because, ewww.
And I'm uncomfortable with hugs.
I do love my vibrator. Hmmm...I guess I'm not the person to answer this question!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

#74

Remember me??

Basic question but complex feelings (at least for me).

Spitting.
Love it? Hate it? Is spitting some places ok with you but totally awful others? Does the intention of the spit matter? Lubrication v. Humiliation etc.

I've never experienced it in person. It doesn't hold any particular appeal for me as a sub, but I'd be willing to explore with my partner if he wanted to.

If I've got my bossy knickers on, then yes.

And I'm going to echo Annie. Spit ≠ lube.

 

[midwestyankee]

I don't remember what prompted this, but my current area of interest when watching porn is women who climax on demand. That just amazes me.

Just so we're clear, that's not me you've been watching.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Just so we're clear, that's not me you've been watching.

Link to your PornHub channel, please?

I'll wait.

 

[midwestyankee]

Link to your PornHub channel, please?

I'll wait.

I hope you have a very long time and are irrationally patient.

 

[gracie920101]

#74

Remember me??

Basic question but complex feelings (at least for me).

Spitting.
Love it? Hate it? Is spitting some places ok with you but totally awful others? Does the intention of the spit matter? Lubrication v. Humiliation etc.

Humiliation is a hard limit. So, uh, nope! Total ick factor for me.

Annie stated it well. If I (or you) need lube, use the proper one.


Btw, you were missed. Welcome back!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I hope you have a very long time and are irrationally patient.

I'm not, actually.

How do you train someone to do that? Does it take a long time?

 

[Acktion]

#74

Remember me??

Basic question but complex feelings (at least for me).

Spitting.
Love it? Hate it? Is spitting some places ok with you but totally awful others? Does the intention of the spit matter? Lubrication v. Humiliation etc.

Back when I was just a sprout... as I recall I was about eleven, which would have made my sister seven. And my uncle, picking on her, said something about the kissing scene on television, that the gal was letting the guy spit in her mouth. And, as "Uncle Potlicker" was prone to do, just kept picking on her and kept picking on her. Not because he was mean by any stretch. But, because once Mom slipped my sister's leash and told it was alright to tease him back (when she was four), she did.

I, on the other hand, was a quiet kid. (We will now pause for anyone who has encountered my long-winded ass to stop laughing...)

Any road, I was sitting over in the corner of the couch, doing my best impression of just another piece of furniture as I watched and listened. (Not exaggerating that I was sat on a few times in that house.)

And turning greener and greener, unnoticed, until finally I bolted to the bathroom and checked for my toenails in the bowl.

Now, frankly, I'd been kissing girls since I was still in diapers. I will grant that those early ones were a little more like Precious Moments figurines... or kissing gouramis. But,... well, any road, I'd had some experience. (Apparently quite a bit according to some, though I never thought it "a lot. Or even "enough." Ask me no questions about the pair of sisters if you don't wanna know.)

But, for some reason, his description of a kiss as "spitting in each other's mouths" just freaked my little eleven-year-old brain right the fuck out.

I'm glad to say I got over it, with some treasured assistance.

But, did I really? 'Cause just a few years ago, at the ripe age of forty-seven, I can remember a friend of ours describing a sloppy kiss she'd had from a guy to my wife. And both of 'em laughing their asses off as I did a perfect reiteration of my eleven-year-old self.

And this from someone who has not only given my lover "puppy kisses" (licking her face from chin to forehead[Why, yes. I do have some Sadist in me. Why do you ask?]) but held a lover's head back by her hair... and spit in her open mouth. And fucked her mouth with my fingers, a dildo, and my cock, smearing her saliva all over face after the efforts when I moved those same fingers, toys, or cock to her pussy.

***shrug*** She loved it and it didn't bother me in the heat of the moment.

But, coming at me cold like that gave me the collywobbles and the heebie-jeebies. Hell, I just shivered just remembering.

I've had no issues "blooding my sword" from time to time. But, there was one gal who had an exceptionally wide mouth. And I can recall it didn't bother me so much while I had my hands up her shirt and down her pants. But, having her saliva coating my cheeks from ear to ear afterward just wasn't sexy.

That was when I was in my teens and early twenties, and I learned a lesson that has stood me in good stead. (Or at least that I've had no complaints about.) When the play is done, I use a warm, wet washcloth to wipe away any... external residuals before curling up with my lover and telling her how awesome she was, how sexy and desirable to bring that out of me.

As for spit for lube... Unless we count me licking, sucking, and tongue fucking her for as long as needed before getting my cock involved, nope. Sorry, Pornhub, but I'm very well aware just how much of a damper vaginal or anal tearing can put on future fun. And I'm not a one and done. I order my lube by the gallon, thanks, since once my engine is cranked I have a tendency to need to keep going. And going. And going. And going.

TLDR; Good sex is messy. Even a good, passionate kiss will get messy. But, it's been my experiences that what is sexy in the moment isn't always when the moment is done or not yet come.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Spitting:

Humiliation?
LOVE.

Lube?
LOATHE.

Spit is personal. Don’t fuck it up.

Okay, I want the deets. Where does he spit? Is there a pattern, like a shame-spit-slap combo? Does he work up a mouthful before letting loose? Has it ever gotten in your eye? Do you have a favorite place to be spät upon? Is there any place that's a no-spit zone for you?

Inquiring minds!

 

[AnnieLit]

I'm not, actually.

How do you train someone to do that? Does it take a long time?

<I am going to be killed for this>
I don't believe it is real.

Let me explain: every dom I ever played with, every dom I ever got close to playing with, either mentioned traing me for this, or tried to actually do it. At least two, if you ask them, will tell you that they succeeded, that I did cum for them on command.

Sorry guys, I did not. Yes, I did cum, and yes, it was after the command, but not because of it. If you are told that you are not allowed to cum and than stimulated pretty hard, you will hold off for a while, right? If your partner is half good at reading your body, he wil know when you are so close, that you can't hold back anymore. Then they have a choice: they can either slow down, let you cool a bit, get you away from the edge, or they can give you permission to cum and enjoy the spectacle. If that permission was in the form "Cum for me. Now!!!" did you cum on command? Well, yes, sort of. But if they said "Good girl, you can cum now, don't hold back." the result would be the same. And even if they said nothing at all, the result still would be the same, because there is only so much a body can take, at some point it is not possible to hold back an orgasm.

I believe it is possible to train to be able to regularly get to a situation when orgasm closely follows a command, only it is the dom that needs to train for that, not the sub. He needs to learn her body enough to know when any tiny thing will send her there. Then what anybody watching will see is a sub cumming on command.

How in the world do doms manage to convince themselves that their command has anything to do with it, I have no idea. But they do. Both praised me afterwords for being such a good sub, for being able to do it. Both were very proud of themselves for "training" me. I did not say anything to either one, let boys have their toys, right? (One of them might read this now, but by this time I don't care much about his ego.)

 

[Acktion]

<I am going to be killed for this>
I don't believe it is real.

Let me explain: every dom I ever played with, every dom I ever got close to playing with, either mentioned traing me for this, or tried to actually do it. At least two, if you ask them, will tell you that they succeeded, that I did cum for them on command.

Sorry guys, I did not. Yes, I did cum, and yes, it was after the command, but not because of it. If you are told that you are not allowed to cum and than stimulated pretty hard, you will hold off for a while, right? If your partner is half good at reading your body, he wil know when you are so close, that you can't hold back anymore. Then they have a choice: they can either slow down, let you cool a bit, get you away from the edge, or they can give you permission to cum and enjoy the spectacle. If that permission was in the form "Cum for me. Now!!!" did you cum on command? Well, yes, sort of. But if they said "Good girl, you can cum now, don't hold back." the result would be the same. And even if they said nothing at all, the result still would be the same, because there is only so much a body can take, at some point it is not possible to hold back an orgasm.

I believe it is possible to train to be able to regularly get to a situation when orgasm closely follows a command, only it is the dom that needs to train for that, not the sub. He needs to learn her body enough to know when any tiny thing will send her there. Then what anybody watching will see is a sub cumming on command.

How in the world do doms manage to convince themselves that their command has anything to do with it, I have no idea. But they do. Both praised me afterwords for being such a good sub, for being able to do it. Both were very proud of themselves for "training" me. I did not say anything to either one, let boys have their toys, right? (One of them might read this now, but by this time I don't care much about his ego.)

Sorry to disappoint, AnnieLit, but this is actually a possible thing.

Sadly, my wife of two and a half decades is no longer around to give you her version of events. And, truth be told, I don't think she had any more idea just how I managed it than I do. And I have doubts that I ever could manage it again with anyone else.

However, as one example, at one of her work Christmas parties, I was able to make her climax from across the room as we were mingling and talking with other people just by meeting her eyes and tilting my head a certain way. Not once but seven times before she decided we would cut the evening short and go for round three (rounds one and two being before we pulled on our public personas).

***shrug***

I don't insist that I could do it for anyone else. (In fact, I doubt it strongly.) Nor that it would be possible for you or anyone else reading this with "the right one."

But, I do know that I did manage it with her.

Now, whether it was the slave in her responding to her Master or the woman responding to the man she loved, or whether the nymph in her was yearning for more of her satyr and knowing more would be forthcoming, that I couldn't hazard a guess.