Are we headed toward a Dom shortage?

[Pure]

Netzach said,

My sub completes me.

I have not, however, tossed my vibrators, naughty pictures and books, trusty index finger or shower massager.

There are some pleasures that have nothing to do with whether one's getting laid or not. Viva self lovin'.

Doms, completed by your sub chicks do you find you no longer jack off?

Didn't think so.

I understand this. But what you don't say is whether a sub, or your sub in particular, could post as similar message, saying 'subbing is fine but I continue 'self loving' whenever i feel like it.' and 'i'm completed by my dom/me, but i j/o routinely, as a supplement.'

 

[snowy ciara]

Re: kitty speaks

That is why so many subs do masturbate for they need the pleasure and release that masturbation gives them, while longing for a true Master that can and will complete them.

It is very hard for a young woman with a child or children to still want a Master as well as a boyfriend/spouse.

The ideal would be to have all of the above in one person.

I definitely feel for you kitty.

allrighty then.. them's fightin' words..

I wasn't going to answer because I have no practical bdsm experience, online or off, but....

You want to know why I masturbate? Because I LIKE it! Not because I'm waiting for a "true master" to complete me. I happen to enjoy my daily orgasms, even without the domination. (I hate it when someone uses to term "true master" or "true slave" or "true" anything; it sends my bullshit-o-meter into the redzone.)

I guess I'm not a "true submissive" because I am a complete person ALL BY MYSELF! I do not need a "true PYL" of any sort to make me a whole person.

It would be nice to have a Dominant, and if I did, I would see how they wanted to handle masturbation. There would be times when it's not allowed, I'm sure. In all of my relationships, I have been submissive in my handling off said relationships. But you know what? If I never meet Mr. Good Dom, or Ms. Good Domme, or my "one true master" I will still be a pretty happy person. It's not going to be the end of my world, folks, and I'll thank all you "true Dominants" to rememember that. To insinuate that I am somehow incomplete or lacking because I'm single, or not in a "true" D/s, bdsm, (whatever) type of relationship is just wrong.

While you are correct when you say that the ideal would be to have a Dominant lover/boyfriend/spouse, it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work that way.


(Can I please have some jelly beans, too? I really like the purple ones..)

 

[AngelicAssassin]

But what you don't say is whether a sub, or your sub in particular, could post as similar message, saying 'subbing is fine but I continue 'self loving' whenever i feel like it.' and 'i'm completed by my dom/me, but i j/o routinely, as a supplement.'

What part of this

The only "crime" I can consistently rely on is wanking/cumming without prior auth. Punishing this is a great source of hilarity.

Betticus, I have an awful time enforcing chastity on boys or girls, there's something just so hot about people getting off. More voyeur than disciplinarian, perhaps.

did you miss Pure?

 

[Pure]

anelize said,

I don't need anyone to complete me. I am complete in and of myself, thanks very much. A D/s relationship is a power exchange, or didn't you know that? If I needed a dom to "complete" me, well there wouldn't be much exchange going on, now would there.

maybe anelize is strong and complete, satisfied in herself prior to any relationship.

but to my mind this 'self sufficient' thing is a kind of humanistic psychology slogan, where relationships are idealy portrayed as 'meetings of equals', occasions of 'mutual respect' etc.

i'm not sure how much this has to do with sexual deviations, including those involving 'power.'

in particular, i do see how equals can do exchanges and barters, i.e., sex for social position, but I don't see that 'exchange' as having much to do with eroticised 'domination' or 'submission.'

there are many attempts to say what 'power exchange' is and what, if anything, is exchanged, and none is very satisfactory, imo (and several other bdsm writers).

one thing the last postings show is a reason for the relative (so called) 'overabundance' of 'subs': both those feeling 'complete' and those feeling 'incomplete' adopt that label; both those planning hard negotiation of terms, and those picturing surrender. and those in between. surely that's 3/4 of humanity.

 

[Pure]

Angelic:
While netzach did say she punishes masturbation as a "crime" in quotes, and finds it a source of hilarity, I find her position not entirely clear. e.g., is sub masturbation ordinary, routine, and par for the course? or so ingrained it can't be fought?

I have an awful time enforcing chastity on boys or girls, there's something just so hot about people getting off.

.. if that's the case, where's the 'crime.' it would be like criminalizing breathing.

Or is it a minor 'wrong' vis a vis the dom/me (is it under the sub's control, at least a little?); it seems sometimes she says 'yes' to the last question, but then i don't understand the 'hilarity' of it.

-----
Overall, it strikes me that netzach is of the school of thought that says 'the dom/me does well to insure a high degree of sexual gratification in the sub.'

 

[AngelicAssassin]

it seems sometimes she says 'yes' to the last question, but then i don't understand the 'hilarity' of it.

-----
Overall, it strikes me that netzach is of the school of thought that says 'the dom/me does well to insure a high degree of sexual gratification in the sub.'

i'll let her speak for herself, but think razor's edge ... for both sides of the equation.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I keep going back to this Dom shortage thing, I envision rationing.

Desperate women trading nylon stockings and chocolate for a buttfucking.

The whole dom shortage is a case of chicken littleism.

there is no dom shortage and will never be one. the internet is a pipeline of sorts that brings doms and subs together.

it's just an old writer dom fantasy; file under "harems".

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Re: kitty speaks

[B One sub's true master is another sub's asshole. ~anelize [/B]

That should make the submissive quote of the day.

 

[PrettyKitty427]

Re: kitty speaks

......

The ideal would be to have all of the above in one person.

I definitely feel for you kitty.

How does one find a being so perfect as to be such a compatible person?

 

[Netzach]

My subs could say "I jack off/self love routinely and at will unless I have a specific limit or restraint or directive imposed by the Mean Bitch I listen to. Then ... if I do it's at my own peril."

Netzach said,

My sub completes me.

I have not, however, tossed my vibrators, naughty pictures and books, trusty index finger or shower massager.

There are some pleasures that have nothing to do with whether one's getting laid or not. Viva self lovin'.

Doms, completed by your sub chicks do you find you no longer jack off?

Didn't think so.

I understand this. But what you don't say is whether a sub, or your sub in particular, could post as similar message, saying 'subbing is fine but I continue 'self loving' whenever i feel like it.' and 'i'm completed by my dom/me, but i j/o routinely, as a supplement.'

 

[Netzach]

Since I'm here...I see the jackoff impulse as an unruly force of nature. I have no interest in quelling the *urge* to do it, because it amuses/pleases me, however I *enjoy* the twistings turnings and gnashing of teeth that telling someone not to do it can create. But I would not want to quell the urge/instinct, I simply like highlighting the base need and slutty wilfullness, it's usually humiliating to do so.

 

[Pure]

N: //I simply like highlighting the base need and slutty wilfullness, it's usually humiliating to do so.//

We have a meeting of minds, here.

Given the 'unruly force of nature', rather than suppress it, direct it (set conditions) so as to intensify the control, and increase the humiliation.

 

[Betticus]

To deny pleasure, self pleasure. To enforce control. To know the sub wants to please you both by masturbating for your pleasure and by obeying you. You've then created a situation wherein they will disappoint you by obeying and at the same time cause you to punish them by disobeying.

Delicious.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

To deny pleasure, self pleasure. To enforce control. To know the sub wants to please you both by masturbating for your pleasure and by obeying you. You've then created a situation wherein they will disappoint you by obeying and at the same time cause you to punish them by disobeying.

Delicious.

And you can take it a few steps further ... but i'll hold my tongue.

Better to give an inkling here of a BDSM dream and not go into details.

 

[Betticus]

And you can take it a few steps further ... but i'll hold my tongue.

Better to give an inkling here of a BDSM dream and not go into details.

Such interesting twists and turns that can be added to this. It lets the imagination run rampant through the possibilities.

 

[Pure]

I can see forced jacking/jilling as definitely sadistic.

The top identifies the 'natural rhythm' of it. Let's say it's once a day for this 'bottom.'

The bottom is then directed, forced to do so twice a day in front of, or on the phone with, strangers.

 

[PrettyKitty427]

I can see forced jacking/jilling as definitely sadistic.

The top identifies the 'natural rhythm' of it. Let's say it's once a day for this 'bottom.'

The bottom is then directed, forced to do so twice a day in front of, or on the phone with, strangers.

out of curiosity, where do you find these strangers?

 

[bridgeburner]

There are hundreds of thousands of them paying $3.99 a minute for the pleasure.



-B

 

[Netzach]

Exactly.

Pimp her out collect 2.99 per minute.

 

[bridgeburner]

Unless you own the operation 75 cents a minute is about the average take for the actual chat-chic, but in this case it really wouldn't be about the money anyway.


But can you imagine having her stand before you counting out quarters one at a time into a coin purse or maybe even a big pink piggy bank?


-B

 

[CmdrGdHrt]

Late Comment

Sorry for joining the discussion so late. I find quite the opposite. As a mature, experienced Dominant, I find a shortage of submissives. I've been approached by several, who have vaguely offered their services, mostly "on line". I reply with a simple inquiry or request for more detail on their desires... and they simply disappear.

Oh, well. Their loss.

Kurt

 

[Betticus]

Re: Late Comment

Sorry for joining the discussion so late. I find quite the opposite. As a mature, experienced Dominant, I find a shortage of submissives. I've been approached by several, who have vaguely offered their services, mostly "on line". I reply with a simple inquiry or request for more detail on their desires... and they simply disappear.

Oh, well. Their loss.

Kurt

I'm with Kurt on this one. Except I'm not being approached. Not since I moved to this hell hole.

 

[fallon2]

Today

I got a pm by a sub who is looking for a Master. She had spent time reading my posts (Only God knows why) and she thought we would be a "good match."

I liked the flattery (obviously) and encouraged her to go to the Lit Library and start reading.

She was offended.

I reread my pm to her and thought tht it was not offensive at all.
I also explained that I am seeking a woman who is looking for a long term Master. Not someone who will leave in a heated rush.

In truth, I like women, I like to get to know them and I like to converse with them.

But we all should be wary when we get pm's from wanna be's
like that.
Being a Dom or a Master takes energy, effort and strength along with a dozen other qualities.

 

[Rugor]

hear hear

Yes it is flattering, but you are so right that some don't have a clue about what they are offering.

I was recently approached by someone who wanted to explore her submissive side. I had her email me with her expectations, limits, and a few other details, and spent several hours chatting with her on IM.

The next day I sent her an email clearly spelling out what submission can and often does entail. It hit very hard. She didn't run but it was obvious she hadn't expected that and really thought it through.

Still she is sticking with it, and we'll have to see how things go.

 

[CmdrGdHrt]

Dom or Master

I have several theories of D/s that I have developed over the years. One is the "Donut Theory" of D/s.

A person may be Dominant or submissive by nature. However, without the complimentary person, that's all they are. Just as the donut is defined by both the dough AND the hole... one cannot be a Dominant or a Master, without the slave to define him. After all, without the dough, the hole is simply air, and without the hole, the donut is just a bun.

Kurt