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ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

midlifecrisispanties said:
As if my very purposely chosen screen name wasn't enough, I added the signature below, making it quite clear to anyone (actually reading any of it) what my "deal" is around here. So, to be asked "Where you from? You sound sexy. Do you ever meet up?"

It's like, really... C'mon... :rolleyes: I know I'm hot and all. I'm every horny old bastards dream. But, did you pass 3rd grade? I use a pretty basic sentence structure. :)
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cascadiabound said:
Anyone who can't read the basic information provided for all to see should immediately be deleted from your PM's without a response IMHO.

good luck finding someone who can read and comprehend. ;)
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midlifecrisispanties said:
:D. Most everyone here gets it. Just that one or two here and there. :)
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midlifecrisispanties said:
"How big is your ass?

My big cock is hard and I want to bury it."


Aaaaaaaaaaand...... Block.


Seriously, does that work on... Like... Anybody... Ever?
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cascadiabound said:
*facepalm :eek:
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Misshotndeep said:
Rofl.....😂😂😂😂
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First off: thanks for self-identifying. That should prevent this sort of thing.

But WTAF? These people no doubt are issued drivers licenses and have jobs and can vote.

And the opening lines? Rigt up there with "Does this smell like chloroform.

Thanks for giving us all some humour tonight.
 
TANSTAAFL58 said:
First off: thanks for self-identifying. That should prevent this sort of thing.

But WTAF? These people no doubt are issued drivers licenses and have jobs and can vote.

And the opening lines? Rigt up there with "Does this smell like chloroform.

Thanks for giving us all some humour tonight.
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We all self-identify in some fashion. Avatars, catch phrases, quotes, etc... All give glimpses into personality and mindset. Wheter we think they do or not. In my case, in all my various capacities, straight forward, no bullshit, to the point, telling it like it is; is how I do everything. Except with people under 30 these days. They have evolved some extra organ that pumps some kind of fragile bubble fluid around them. And if you even touch the bubble too abruptly, they fall to the floor in convulsions.

Some people, however, take it to the opposite extreme. They believe vulgar, rude, uncouth, even blatantly dangerous behavior is acceptable as long as they can remain generally anonymous. Just watch a line of traffic on any given highway at rush hour and you can figure out who is whom.

I figure open self-identity, is the only clear way for people to know you. But even most of that is just labels we wear over our real selves. That's what makes exchanges like that one funnier. When you introduce yourself with, "my cock is hard, " or "would you like to see my pussy?" then you can't really expect a quality exchange.


Wow... Soap box... Sorry.

Addendum: I was in pissy mood mode when I wrote this. That left me with multiple typos from fingers too big for the phone keyboard. But I think I got them all. :D
 
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midlifecrisispanties said:
We all self-identify in some fashion. Avatars, catch phrases, quotes, etc... All give glimpses into personality and mindset. Whetwr we think they do or not. In my case, in all my various capacities, straight forward, no bullshit, to the point, telling it like it is; is how I do everything. Except with people under 30 these days. They have evolved some extra organ that pumps some kind of fragile bubble fluid around them. And if you even touch the bubble to abruptly, they fall to the floor in convulsions.

Some people, however, take it to the opposite extreme. They believe vulgar, rude, uncouth, even blatantly dangerous behavior is acceptable as long as they can remain generally anonymous. Just watch a line of traffic on any given highway at rush hour and you can figure out who is whom.

I figure open self-identity, is the only clear way for people to know you. But even most of that is just labels we wear over our real selves. That's what makes exchanges like that one funnier. When yiu introduce yourself with, "my cock is hard, " or "would you like to see my pussy?" then you can't realky expect a quality exchange.


Wow... Soap box... Sorry.
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This.
 
midlifecrisispanties said:
In my case, in all my various capacities, straight forward, no bullshit, to the point, telling it like it is; is how I do everything. Except with people under 30 these days. They have evolved some extra organ that pumps some kind of fragile bubble fluid around them. And if you even touch the bubble too abruptly, they fall to the floor in convulsions.
:D
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Funniest thing I've read all week.
 
I'm finally a member

Of the club. Just received this:

Ever watched a guy jack off in person?


Of course it's a new member with only 5 posts!

I can't decide how I want to respond...
 
gracie920101 said:
Of the club. Just received this:

Ever watched a guy jack off in person?


Of course it's a new member with only 5 posts!

I can't decide how I want to respond...
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Tell him NO. You’re a complete ingenue. Then when he does it, post it here.
 
midlifecrisispanties said:
"My big cock is hard and I want to bury it."
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Pity you blocked. I would have gone back with something like: "I'm all for it! I have six acres of cedar swamp, three cats, two axes, Grandpa's straight razor and a presentation set of Ginsu knives. Your choice of burial location for your gherkin should it ever cast its tiny shadow here."

:D
 
TarnishedPenny said:
Pity you blocked. I would have gone back with something like: "I'm all for it! I have six acres of cedar swamp, three cats, two axes, Grandpa's straight razor and a presentation set of Ginsu knives. Your choice of burial location for your gherkin should it ever cast its tiny shadow here."

:D
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*swoons*
 
Recently received on another site

What a cool honest articulate profile, sounds dedicated, keen to learn
Wish I could giftwrap a rl lil 3rd world slave for you to learn to impose bdsm on under Instruction, so you impose humiliation on yr rl 3rd world toy, learn how to break yr lil toy between those knees, while you yrself are riding high, but you bend to the will of yr Instructor, yr posture shaped by yr Instructor
Free Riding lessons
O for an ideal world
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TarnishedPenny said:
Pity you blocked. I would have gone back with something like: "I'm all for it! I have six acres of cedar swamp, three cats, two axes, Grandpa's straight razor and a presentation set of Ginsu knives. Your choice of burial location for your gherkin should it ever cast its tiny shadow here."

:D
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So... my brain is broken and I just caught the shadow part and got a mental image of a penis staked out in a field. Casting a tiny shadow onto the grain. It was almost artistic, in the vein of Van Gogh
 
And this. Start at the bottom:

cookiecat on 5/5/19 at 7:42 PM:
fuck off

WxxxMxxx on 5/5/19 at 7:28 PM:
I am serious
I have a proposal

cookiecat on 5/5/19 at 7:23 PM:
hahahaha


WxxxMxxx on 5/5/19 at 7:18 PM:
Might u have any legal age daughters or nieces
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?
 
cookiecat said:
And this. Start at the bottom:

?
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........same guy?

I swear, sometimes I think simply beating the stupid out of the gene pool would be the best way to go. I grew up in the south, and I changed my views, but it took multiple people and years, and a few good hard lumps to do it.
 
KamaKamaSutra said:
........same guy?

I swear, sometimes I think simply beating the stupid out of the gene pool would be the best way to go. I grew up in the south, and I changed my views, but it took multiple people and years, and a few good hard lumps to do it.
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Fuck. You’re fine. A nice guy, a gentleman.
Don’t even compare yourself to that scum.
We women have been weeding you all out for years. We know who is on the up and up.
 
KamaKamaSutra said:
........same guy?

I swear, sometimes I think simply beating the stupid out of the gene pool would be the best way to go. I grew up in the south, and I changed my views, but it took multiple people and years, and a few good hard lumps to do it.
Click to expand...

Nope. Different guy.

It's a kinky "dating" site - soooo - I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to messages.

I think we've all changed our points of view over the years, right? Hopefully, mellowed or at least gained manners!?

What amazes me on this site is the number of 50+ year old "Masters" looking for 18-35 year old newbie slave fuckmeats who want nothing but total degradation and pain. On the flip side, it seems the 50+ year old "submissives" are looking for the "One" to look in to their kitten souls and see exactly what they need.

How anyone ever gets together is a mystery. But hey - that's where I met my husband. :)
 
cookiecat said:
Nope. Different guy.

It's a kinky "dating" site - soooo - I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to messages.

I think we've all changed our points of view over the years, right? Hopefully, mellowed or at least gained manners!?

What amazes me on this site is the number of 50+ year old "Masters" looking for 18-35 year old newbie slave fuckmeats who want nothing but total degradation and pain. On the flip side, it seems the 50+ year old "submissives" are looking for the "One" to look in to their kitten souls and see exactly what they need.

How anyone ever gets together is a mystery. But hey - that's where I met my husband. :)
Click to expand...

:heart:

I met my guy here.
 
Lit can be an amazing place. Finding like minded people and freaks alike :)

Thank you Fara, I've needed a bit of that lately.
 
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