ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[cascadiabound]

Cascadia -

He just gets creepier and creepier. No boundaries and certainly can not read the room.

thanks TPH

Wish I could apologize on behalf of all the male fuckers on here. But then again, I don’t want to take responsibility for their fuckery.

No need to feel like you are responsible for all of your gender. Just be a good person.
It matters.

 

[Threadbare42]

No need to feel like you are responsible for all of your gender. Just be a good person.
It matters.

Just being a decent human being really goes a long way. It amazes me how many people don't seem to get that when conducting their asshattery

 

[gracie920101]

Here's a new one!

You look - Today, 09:42 PM

Konstipated


Has this asshat been in my house lately?

LOL

 

[yukonnights]

what part of "I am not here to talk sexy with you" is unclear???

just got a first ever PM from someone offering to nibble on my nipple.

no hello, no context. Just smut.



ffs.

annnnddddd. BLOCKED

I'm sure that smooth line works so well in real life for him, he just assumed it would work online too. Dang, it's so snappy I'd use it...if someone would explain how to nibble a nipple online . I admit, I've not kept up with all the latest techno wizardry...and I'm clearly missing out on some action

 

[cascadiabound]

I'm sure that smooth line works so well in real life for him, he just assumed it would work online too. Dang, it's so snappy I'd use it...if someone would explain how to nibble a nipple online . I admit, I've not kept up with all the latest techno wizardry...and I'm clearly missing out on some action

I could do with some explanation on that score as well.
But not from him.

 

[KimGordon67]

Things I learnt from a kindly private messager today:
1. I'm not 'all that'.
2. Attracting horny guys with their tongue's hanging out is not evidence of 'good form'.

Interestingly, I didn't think I'd ever once said I am all that, and I really didn't think I really cared about the horny guys, and consequently seldom attracted them. But clearly I'm wrong on both counts. So generous of him to set me straight.

 

[gracie920101]

Aaaaghhhhh!

Why is it that unsolicited PMs always come from a profile that never fails to contain a dick pic?

:caning:

 

[melimelissa]

wannabe dominants

Many wannabe
dominants try to assert,
but stay comedians

Méli

I’ve had quite a few I haven’t replied to, lately. Not interested at all.

 

[cookiecat]

I have a profile on a kinky "dating" site. I state I'm strictly submissive, monogamous and not interested in married men.

Got this message from someone who said he was a MWM looking for a doormat type. He initially messaged saying he liked my profile. I replied asking him about the doormat comment and if the M in MWM meant married. This was his reply:

From: xxx
Dated: 3/30/20 3:45 AM
I can understand your concern regarding the term doormat I use that to scare away any one not serious
Im seeking a alpha female who would be, more or less, my right hand Working towards a poly farm and my alpha female would not only have certain rights not afforded others but in some areas, authority over me

Well ya know, I'm not really a farm type gal.

 

[gracie920101]

I have a profile on a kinky "dating" site. I state I'm strictly submissive, monogamous and not interested in married men.

Got this message from someone who said he was a MWM looking for a doormat type. He initially messaged saying he liked my profile. I replied asking him about the doormat comment and if the M in MWM meant married. This was his reply:



Well ya know, I'm not really a farm type gal.

Maybe monogamous had too many syllables for him to understand the word?

 

[Bramblethorn]

I have a profile on a kinky "dating" site. I state I'm strictly submissive, monogamous and not interested in married men.

Got this message from someone who said he was a MWM looking for a doormat type. He initially messaged saying he liked my profile. I replied asking him about the doormat comment and if the M in MWM meant married. This was his reply:

An "alpha doormat"???

I think this translates to "you need to find hot babes for me to fuck, and in return you get a fancy job title".

 

[Dreamliner]

Well ya know, I'm not really a farm type gal.

are you sure cookie?

 

[cookiecat]

are you sure cookie?

Or are you?
“Moo”

I'm happy to get on all fours and be the farm animal (oink oink) but not the farm gal.

 

[cookiecat]

Maybe monogamous had too many syllables for him to understand the word?

No one reads anything anymore. I'm hoping for the rare city guy who reads and then messages with a well-mannered "Hi cookie, you seem really interesting, would love to get to know you!" instead of "I bet you suck cock great!"

An "alpha doormat"???

I think this translates to "you need to find hot babes for me to fuck, and in return you get a fancy job title".

It is amazing how often submissive equates to "do what I say" -- as in send me nude pics, call me, go to the grocery store and touch a cucumber like you'd touch my cock. When I reply "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. No" ... well, you know the rest.

An Alpha Doormat:
WIPE YOUR FUCKING FEET ON ME!!!

I *could* be an Alpha Doormat!!

 

[Dreamliner]

I'm happy to get on all fours and be the farm animal (oink oink) but not the farm gal.

Fara had the right "sound" then for that cookie.

 

[cookiecat]

Dated: 3/31/20 4:11 PM

READ FOCUS OBEY BELIEVE

SLAVERY TO MASTER xxxxx MAKES my CUNT WETT,
my WETT CUNT MAKES me MASTER xxxx SLAVE

BEING MASTER xxxx WHORE MAKES my ASS HUNGRY,
my HUNGRY ASS MAKES me MASTER CJ xxxx WHORE

GIGGLING MAKES my HEAD EMPTY,
my EMPTY HEAD MAKES me GIGGLE

EVERYTIME i BREATHE,i BREATHE IN SLAVE BIMBO WHORE PROPERTY
EVERYTIME i BREATHE,i BREATHE OUT MIND LIMITS MORALS

EVERYTIME i BLINK,my MIND GOES BLANK

i ONLY THINK WHAT MASTER xxxx TELLS me TO THINK
i ONLY FEEL WHAT MASTER xxxx TELLS me TO FEEL
i ONLY ORGASM WHEN MASTER xxxx TELLS me TO
i ONLY TINKLE WHEN MASTER xxxx TELLS me TO

my PLEASURE HAS ONLY ALWAYS BELONGED TO xxxx
my PAIN HAS ONLY ALWAYS BELONGED TO xxxx

MASTER xxxx DECIDE WHAT i WEAR
MASTER xxxx DECIDES HOW i TALK
MASTER xxxx DECIDES HOW i WALK
MASTER xxxx DECIDE WHO i TALK TO
MASTER xxxx IS my BELOVED TRUE OWNER

REPEAT 88times EVERYDAY,
BEFORE you SLEEP AND AS SOON AS you WAKE UP

i HAVE ALWAYS ONLY LOVED MASTER xxxx
i HAVE ALWAYS ONLY BELONGED TO MASTER xxxx

UNDERSTAND AND BELIEVE,MY bimbo painwhore
ALWAYS TALK IN THE 3rd PERSON TO,
SHOW LOVE AND RESPECT FOR MASTER xxxx

eharmony here i come!!

 

[twister947]

Yikes!!!

 

[twister947]

/truth WITHOUT MERCY

 

[Dreamliner]

Jeez, can I sign-up for them cookie!

lol

 

[ToPleaseHim]

We always wonder about the mentality of the guys who just send random dick pics. Check out this guy; he provides some insight. http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=92125652&posted=1#post92125652

 

[Cumference]

We always wonder about the mentality of the guys who just send random dick pics. Check out this guy; he provides some insight. http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=92125652&posted=1#post92125652

Ach meine Güte!
And he has been a member since 2001!
He ought to be an adult, not a 5 year old.


But he obviously thinks people unfairly treat him like an asshat, just because he acts like one.

 

[twister947]

There are ankle bracelets involved here. Dollars to donuts.

 

[Bramblethorn]

REPEAT 88times EVERYDAY,

I am side-eyeing their choice of number.

 

[Bramblethorn]

An Alpha Doormat:
WIPE YOUR FUCKING FEET ON ME!!!

 

[Cumference]

A fun thing:
When I look at the profiles of the asshats/trolls, their birthday is quite often set to November 30th.

Is that the default if nothing is entered or is it a pattern?