Senna Jawa
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 13, 2002
- Posts
- 3,272
Re: What Happened SJ, the Happy Pill Wear Off?
. Seriously, even King Solomon wouldn't be able to do anything with nothing. If you try, if you work something good out, it would be a new poem, hardly related to the given text. And that is not a way to write poems, one should have better reasons than to save a poor text.
The text alludes to cards. There were many great poems, and still more not so great poems (about the queen of hearts etc.) which did it quite well. Here nothing interesting is happening. Everything in the poem is general and clished. Falling leaves. Big words: hearts and love, regardless of an attempt to make it ironic or different. This poem is not delivering anything special, unique, individual, concrete. How can it move anybody? Oh, sure, there are people out there, you say SOUL and HEART and they cry their strange tears. (I don't trust such tears).
The text was perhaps intended as a toy, as something clever. I am trying to be evil's advocate. Let's say that I will play that game. But such a game has nothing in common with poetry.
And I still didn't say the word "haiku" because within poetry haiku is on the opposite end from the given 3-line text. In haiku one is supposed to catch a concrete moment and place, and concrete emotion. Of course you may place every emotion under a common roof: joy, sadness, surprise... but the poem itself should not do it.
Such views have to be stated in a simplified way or else one would need to provide a monograph to explain the boundaries, the assumptions, ... Counterexamples would be interesting but constructive only with the understandiong of their complementary role. For instance, haiku should be objective but it may have as its goal to describe (objectively!) someone's (even narrator's or subject's) subjective emotion.
Those who never ate bread should not highjack word "bread" when they make soap bubbles. U may try to catch soap bubbles with your mouth imitating eating bread but it's not the same. You need a baker to learn from what bread is about. You need those who created haiku to know what haiku is about. (Of course Lauren is something else. She claims that one can survive on soap bubbles).
Haiku specialists tend to have their favorite themes. Some specialize in birds, others in the country scene, still others in the city scene (perhaps a proud slogan on a newspaper sticking out of a garbage can may cause their reaction)... Observations in haiku are rather microscopic than macroscopic, especially in the time dimension, one catches but ione moment. That was Japanese specialty. Chinese did it too but not with such singlemindness, nearly to an exclusion of the rest. Again, take this statement within some sensible proportions.
Open "Haiku Master Buson", edited by Yuki Sawa & E.M. Shiffert Heian, and the wonderful poetry will leap at you, strike your eyes. It will free you from garbage.
Best regards,
You need to ask UP for thatRybka said:Glad to see you didn't bite off that acerbic tongue of yours!
How about giving us an example of what can be done with this 3-liner.
Regards, Rybka
. Seriously, even King Solomon wouldn't be able to do anything with nothing. If you try, if you work something good out, it would be a new poem, hardly related to the given text. And that is not a way to write poems, one should have better reasons than to save a poor text.The text alludes to cards. There were many great poems, and still more not so great poems (about the queen of hearts etc.) which did it quite well. Here nothing interesting is happening. Everything in the poem is general and clished. Falling leaves. Big words: hearts and love, regardless of an attempt to make it ironic or different. This poem is not delivering anything special, unique, individual, concrete. How can it move anybody? Oh, sure, there are people out there, you say SOUL and HEART and they cry their strange tears. (I don't trust such tears).
The text was perhaps intended as a toy, as something clever. I am trying to be evil's advocate. Let's say that I will play that game. But such a game has nothing in common with poetry.
And I still didn't say the word "haiku" because within poetry haiku is on the opposite end from the given 3-line text. In haiku one is supposed to catch a concrete moment and place, and concrete emotion. Of course you may place every emotion under a common roof: joy, sadness, surprise... but the poem itself should not do it.
Such views have to be stated in a simplified way or else one would need to provide a monograph to explain the boundaries, the assumptions, ... Counterexamples would be interesting but constructive only with the understandiong of their complementary role. For instance, haiku should be objective but it may have as its goal to describe (objectively!) someone's (even narrator's or subject's) subjective emotion.
Those who never ate bread should not highjack word "bread" when they make soap bubbles. U may try to catch soap bubbles with your mouth imitating eating bread but it's not the same. You need a baker to learn from what bread is about. You need those who created haiku to know what haiku is about. (Of course Lauren is something else. She claims that one can survive on soap bubbles
).Haiku specialists tend to have their favorite themes. Some specialize in birds, others in the country scene, still others in the city scene (perhaps a proud slogan on a newspaper sticking out of a garbage can may cause their reaction)... Observations in haiku are rather microscopic than macroscopic, especially in the time dimension, one catches but ione moment. That was Japanese specialty. Chinese did it too but not with such singlemindness, nearly to an exclusion of the rest. Again, take this statement within some sensible proportions.
Open "Haiku Master Buson", edited by Yuki Sawa & E.M. Shiffert Heian, and the wonderful poetry will leap at you, strike your eyes. It will free you from garbage.
Best regards,
Don't worry, they're mass producing so many card gamese these days that even us young folk can't keep up anymore
