Critics Awards - The rest of us

[gauchecritic]

Re: $#^%&(*&)_$%^

I'm tired of the honorees thanking the "little people." I'm 4'10" and weigh 89 pounds. I'm a little touchy on the subject.
Diane the Runt

Now you've done it D, now you're going to sackloads of mail (boxfulls?) from pervs requesting pics of you in classic schoolgirl uniforms (gymslip, boater, pigtails etc).

Just remember I'm first in the queue

and terribly terribly

Gauche

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: $#^%&(*&)_$%^

Now you've done it D, now you're going to sackloads of mail (boxfulls?) from pervs requesting pics of you in classic schoolgirl uniforms (gymslip, boater, pigtails etc).

Just remember I'm first in the queue

and terribly terribly

Gauche

Dear Gauchie,
When I was fourteen and in a Catholic all-girls' junior high, we had to wear uniforms. White long sleeved blouse, gray and blue striped pleated skirt, black and white saddle oxfords, and (yuck) knee sox. Oh, the white cotton up to the bellybutton panties. Of course I had a blonde ponytail. I may have been a Humbert Humbert's dream, but I felt like an idiot.
Diane the Ex Lolita

 

[Guest]

smarter than the average bear

Looks like we have created something of an elite in here (with obvious exceptions inc. me ) and I can't help noticing a distinct lack of "Authors Of Worth".

Perhaps I'm just

Gauche

P.S
Large thanks and big kisses to Diane for calling bridget BKeeney, every time I see the name I now imagine our ms. of ceremonies in a BKeeney. (Bikini! geddit?)

G-

It is all in the eye of the beholder...

Diane-

Thanks for helping others along the path to enlightenment...

 

[MathGirl]

Kudeaux

And a big round of applause for our wonderful Mistress of Ceremonies, BKeeney!

Yay!! <air kisses on all four cheeks>

 

[Octavian]

The Melville Trophy?

“Aw shucks” says he with some embarrassment, seeking to ingratiate himself with the American contingent on Literotica.

Thank you for the Melville Trophy.

I remember reading Herman Melville. He wrote a book about Wales and I bought it because I was planning to have a vacation there. I wanted the inside track on where to stay in Cardiff and Swansea.
Well, I must say as a guidebook, it was about as much use as a chocolate teapot.
Herman Melville spends most of the time writing about fishing. The really funny thing about it is that right at the end he does catch a fish, but it is so big, it sinks his boat.

However, he only has himself to blame for this calamity. He should have remained in Cardiff and concentrated on his guidebook.

Octavian

 

[PaulX35]

More awards

MG-

I think you are just underappreciated since you write on a totally different plane... very Woody Allen.

As someone who has had to organize award dinners, I assure you that we can come up with an award for everyone....

Let's see...

MG wins the award for the only literarily appropriate use of a mondo cock for her story Freida the Cat.

TheEarl wins the award for only nonconsent story that didn't make me hit the back button for his story One Cup of Coffee. (Although I don't drink coffee anymore, just Ceylon tea)

Anyone else want an award? I am really good at this.

b

Hey Bridget

Can I apply for the bumpy grammar by non native speaker award?

Paul

 

[Just-Legal]

Uhm...

Anyone won any awards for the celeb category yet?

Or better - Mistress of Suspense (cause she never bloody finishes)?

 

[MathGirl]

Our Quest

Let's not lose sight of our mission here. We're recognizing achievements in sort of mediocre ho-hum half assed lukewarm nondescript literature. Let's not get too tony. It would spoil the ........ ambience.

I don't look on it as "winning" anything. It's getting something that's sort of reluctantly bestowed whether you want it or not.

PS... I'll bet my fictional big dick is bigger than your fictional big dick.

PPS ... From looking at the number of views and replies, it looks like this thread is more popular that the real "Critics Choice" thread. I'm not sure what that says about us, and it's probably best not to know.

 

[pop_54]

Re: Our Quest

Let's not lose sight of our mission here. We're recognizing achievements in sort of mediocre ho-hum half assed lukewarm nondescript literature. Let's not get too tony. It would spoil the ........ ambience.

I don't look on it as "winning" anything. It's getting something that's sort of reluctantly bestowed whether you want it or not.

PS... I'll bet my fictional big dick is bigger than your fictional big dick.

PPS ... From looking at the number of views and replies, it looks like this thread is more popular that the real "Critics Choice" thread. I'm not sure what that says about us, and it's probably best not to know.

It says we appear to like it a bit more tongue-in-cheek, Umm, or tongue in anything come to think of it.

Ummm, talking of tongue in something MG sweetness, what was that about the school uniform and the flannel panties...............

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Our Quest

Ummm, talking of tongue in something MG sweetness, what was that about the school uniform and the flannel panties...............

Now, now, Pops. You just keep your tongue in your cheek where it belongs.

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Re: Our Quest

Now, now, Pops. You just keep your tongue in your cheek where it belongs.

Hehe!

 

[Guest]

More awards

Hey Bridget

Can I apply for the bumpy grammar by non native speaker award?

Paul

Paul-

You can apply, but alas, you don't qualify... your grammar is far superior to most on this site... including grammar of the English as a first language contingency.

But, because you have posted to this thread, you do qualify for the most erotic technologically enabled encounter for Infrared .

I will never ride on a train without my laptop again.

b

 

[MathGirl]

BK

Hiya, BKeeney. Welcome back. We've all been sitting here waiting for our Mistress of Ceremonies.

 

[Just-Legal]

*drinks the free "champagne"*

LOL MG, it depends whether you take stock of hits, or quality of feedback...

Its what they tell me anyway...

Which reminds me, must check e-mail... see if there's any more "PLEEEEASE post more SS!!"

Its getting silly now LOL

 

[PaulX35]

Re: More awards

Paul-

You can apply, but alas, you don't qualify... your grammar is far superior to most on this site... including grammar of the English as a first language contingency.

But, because you have posted to this thread, you do qualify for the most erotic technologically enabled encounter for Infrared .

I will never ride on a train without my laptop again.

b

Bridget,

Thanks, I'm honored!

 

[Guest]

Re: BK

Hiya, BKeeney. Welcome back. We've all been sitting here waiting for our Mistress of Ceremonies.

Diane-

I apologize for the intermission... something about the sponsors of the roses wanting me to actually work... so annoying!

I will be indisposed again today, so please accept my apologies in advance.

And this bikini is awfully drafty.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: BK

Diane-

I apologize for the intermission... something about the sponsors of the roses wanting me to actually work... so annoying!

I will be indisposed again today, so please accept my apologies in advance.

And this bikini is awfully drafty.

Dear BKeeney,
It just isn't the same without you , dear. We'll wait.

 

[sirhugs]

Re: Re: Re: BK

Dear BKeeney,
It just isn't the same without you , dear. We'll wait.

with bated breath

 

[Just_John1]

Sir Hugs

I'm almost afraid to ask what the bait is...

Sorry couldn't resist, now I will continue my quest for mediocrity.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Years ago, US Senator Roman Hruska (R. Neb) was asked how he felt about being named the most mediocre senator in congress.

"Well," he said, "there's a lot of mediocre people out there and they're entitled to a little repesentation too, aren't they?"

---dr.M.

 

[MathGirl]

Statistics

I agree with Dr M and Senator Hruska. Let's hear it for mediocrity! In a subdued, moderate tone of voice, of course.

What's wrong with being in the fat part of the bell shaped curve?

MATHgirl

 

[Master_Vassago]

I read through these posts and couldn't help but laugh a bit. My vase would be paisley with a plaid bow and orchids of a flouresant hue. LOL oh and a giant $.99 sticker on the side.

But seriously I think the majority of us here are ho hum. For if we were truly gifted and always on top wouldn't we be doing this professionally?

Now I raise My hand reluctantly requesting just a nod from fellow peers. lol. Enjoy your day. And an early happy valentines day to you all.

 

[Guest]

paying the bills...

The rose for the only Harry Potter story that I have ever read goes to Just-Legal for Seducing Severus pt 2 .

Just-Legal, if the actual novels were paced like this, I might be tempted to read them!

(diving to avoid the scorn of the Rowling worshippers)

b

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Have you read The Sorceror's Boner, B???

 

[karmadog]

I'd like to beg an award for worst title:

The First Time.

I'm so ashamed of that.