Do you use a scene name?

[serijules]

serijules is a screen name, not a scene name. Everyone that knows me other than some of my family and my business clients call me Seri. If someone called me serijules in person, I'd probably not even think to respond to it, heh. Most of my friends have scene names that have taken over their real life names, which is kind of funny because we've known each other for 10+ years yet if you say our real names, we will be like..who??

I used to use just Seri, period, but I ended up with serijules somewhere along the line. I'm picky about it too...I hate it when people type "Serijules" and I hate it when they type "seri". Seri is a proper name and capped...serijules is a nickname and I prefer the lowercase, not as a show of status, but just because that's the way I like it, I think it's cute.

I won't call anyone Lord, Master, Sir, Lady, etc, even if it is a part of their chosen scene name. Sorry, but those are not self-given titles.

 

[His_pita]

Pita is my submissive name given to me by my Dom. I love it very much and use it on all the BDSM boards I go to. I also use Tess who is a lot more agressive and flirty then Pita. My real name is usually for business, family and friends.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I don't use a "scene" name, because I'm not part of any "scene". Not my thing. Anelize is a screen name I've used since I first began interacting online, and it is how I refer to myself until I choose to trust someone with my given name.

 

[MechaBlade]

I won't call anyone Lord, Master, Sir, Lady, etc, even if it is a part of their chosen scene name. Sorry, but those are not self-given titles.

By whom are they given?

 

[rosco rathbone]

By whom are they given?

Houses of European domination, naturally.

 

[Netzach]

lol


funny.

They are given by submissives, they are given by general consensus rarely. I'd never get my nose out of shape if someone I'm not in a scene with failed to address me as whatever, I think that's what's being said.

 

[serijules]

I take titles rather seriously. I don't toss them around with the ease that many do.

I find it baffling when someone self-appoints themselves as a "Lord" or "Master" in a nickname, be it screen or scene. To me, such titles are relationship symbolics...kind of like a mother is a Mommy to her children, but she doesn't usually go around introducing herself as "Mommy Jane". It's a title that comes about because of the relationship and the people in it. Most mothers would have issues if their kids started calling every adult they met "Mommy".

For me, titles withen BDSM are like that....I address my owner as "Ma'am", and that's about the only time you will hear that word come out of my mouth other than out of manners in a vanilla setting (which I apply an entirely different context to). To address anyone else with the same respect I do to her would be, in my opinion, extremely disrespectful to her, and uneccessarily pushy to the other person. They are not my Sir/Ma'am/Master/Mistress/Lord/Whathaveyou...what on earth gives me the right to address them as such? I understand the use of such titles to communicate your preference as far as role in the scene, but I've never found it admirable or acceptable to need to display that so directly, for either end of the scale, top roles or bottom.

Along that same line, what on earth right does some guy that decides he is a "Master" have to insist that everyone address him as such, or at the least imply that is his wishes by using it in his nickname? He ain't my master nor has he done anything to show he even has an inkling of what the title means.

Blanket verbal respect of total strangers by use of titles ain't my kink.

I may be Dawnie's slave but to anyone else I meet in the scene, I'm simply Seri, a woman with submissive interests and experience.

Besides, it seems to be mostly an online thing, and I'm not much into the online scene either. The few times in "real life" I've ever seen someone introduce themselves including a title, it has been by someone that has more than earned the respect of the community through their knowledge and expertise, and that is rare.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i don't really have a "scene" name. i have about 3 online nicks, and i doubt i would answer to any of them in real life. Daddy and i are a fairly social lifestyle couple, and somewhat known in certain lifestyle circles in our area. most people will call me "sweet", which is Daddy's name for me. however most folks that i associate with both on and offline are aware of my real name, even if they don't use it.

as far as how i refer to others...i can't imagine calling someone by their internet name unless that also happened to be their real name. usually if i'm meeting another submissive or slave i'll call them by name, and if it's a Dominant i'll either refer to them as "Sir", or "Master" followed by their first name. in this particular case, Master is used almost like "Mister", and doesn't denote any special title or respect. however by referring to someone as "Master Robert" as opposed to "hey Bob", i am showing a special courtesy and acknowledging the difference in our respective stations. my Master does not wish for me to refer to any Dominant the same way that he would, as if i were an equal. and "Sir" is simply good manners when referring to an older gentleman, Dom or vanilla.

 

[serijules]

Most doms I know would be offended by a submissive addressing them so personally as "Master" and correct them for doing so.

Different areas, different beliefs I guess.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Most doms I know would be offended by a submissive addressing them so personally as "Master" and correct them for doing so.

Different areas, different beliefs I guess.

yep. most Dominants we know would be offended by a slave referring to them simply by name, and they would look down upon the Owner as well for his poor training abilities.

 

[O'Mac]

No real "scene" name for me. O'Mac is my nickname used only for Literotica. Shwa is used for Collarme.com. Everywhere else (generally non-lifestyle related) I go by the handle Cashcleaner.

With all subs, I've been called Master or Sir, but that was by their own accord and I have never demanded someone refer to me by any title. I have been never called by my real name, though.

 

[serijules]

yep. most Dominants we know would be offended by a slave referring to them simply by name, and they would look down upon the Owner as well for his poor training abilities.

For the most part, I address people as they are introduced to me, be that by first name or "Ms Whatever" or whatnot. I've never had someone introduce themselves to me in person as "Master Name". It's very possible to be polite and respectful without using titles, which is what my owner cares about and what reflects on her, not the use of a title to show that. A dominant (or submissive for that matter) who looks down on anyone he doesn't own because they don't follow his ideals is not likely someone we would know or interact with anyhow.

 

[Quint]

How interesting. I can see where serijules and osg are both coming from. I do tend to agree with you, serijules, that "Master"ing all over the place seems like calling someone else's mother, "Mom." What an apt analogy.

What I've found from my few conversations with people in an active D/s lifestyle is that I will compromise kinda based on intuition and how they introduce themselves. Generally, if someone introduces himself as Master X, I will just call him "Sir" until explicitly told by T to do otherwise. Likewise, "Ma'am" for dominant women. It seems a comfortable respect on both sides of the equation.

But that's just the respect I show when meeting new folks. I'm notoriously cheeky once you get to know me, and then I'm probably first-naming everyone.

 

[Netzach]

Being professional I've gotten completely de-sensitized to the weight of "Mistress." It's a foregone conclusion that that's what they wanna call me, 9/10ths of them having no idea why it might not be true, in fact I expect to be called Mistress in that context and it does leap out at me to get called by name.

Outside that scene, I'm surprised to be called that. It doesn't make me feel especially good or turn me on, because I associate it with work. It sounds right coming from harvey, but he also calls me Miss, Ma'am and by name at times - it really still depends on context. There's no doubt about who owns or controls at any point.

 

[ownedsubgal]

For the most part, I address people as they are introduced to me, be that by first name or "Ms Whatever" or whatnot. I've never had someone introduce themselves to me in person as "Master Name". It's very possible to be polite and respectful without using titles, which is what my owner cares about and what reflects on her, not the use of a title to show that. A dominant (or submissive for that matter) who looks down on anyone he doesn't own because they don't follow his ideals is not likely someone we would know or interact with anyhow.

all circles are different, none better or worse. it is important to my Master when we interact with others socially, that i not only be polite and respectful, but also remain in my place. for us, that includes referring to Dominants the way that i do. you mentioned Dominants introducing themselves to you...that doesn't happen here. a Dominant we've met in person has never introduced themselves to me...they introduce themselves to my Master, my Master will then introduce me as his slave, and then maybe he will tell me, "this is SoandSo", and i will give a brief greeting, "hello Master SoandSo, nice to meet you"...and that is usually as much direct conversation as i will ever have with a Dominant, other than an occasional "yes Sir" or "no Sir" if i'm being asked questions. as a slave, my Master does not find it seemly for me to mingle and chitchat with Dominants as if i were their equal. i do not introduce myself, i do not initiate conversation, and i am never treated as anything other than what i am...someone's property.

i recognize that others may operate differently and have different ideas regarding what is and isn't proper in such situations.

 

[blanco_loupe]

I mostly use White Wolf or some form of it. The reason is that the white wolf is my totem or spirit guide.

 

[Guest]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

Sorry... I just keep running into the same thing in something else too...
'nuff said though...
Ok...Who hasn't heard of "Sir (or Master) Blah Blah Blah... Some ridiculous name where you expect to see Conan the barbarian with a whip..... And instead you find some pasty little fellow...Or Some overweight BDG (Basement Dwelling Geek) who spends too much time in front of a monitor???????????

I know a sub who still occaisionally writes and complains.... She has been looking for a "Master" in a rural area... And it seems all she can find are overweight, overage, fellows with one foot in grave and the other on anal lube...
They all have one thing in common... REALLY cool scene names....
Or as we said in conversation ...They don't need a slave...They need a nurse.

But yeah I occaisionally contemplate adopting a "scene name" something exotic...Something that breaks the mold.. Something that will set me apart from all the Dom wannabees......
I think I shall be called ..................................Fred.

(Disclaimer..nah Fred isn't my real name.. It's a "scene name" ...Aint it cool???)

 

[Kajira Callista]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

Sorry... I just keep running into the same thing in something else too...
'nuff said though...
Ok...Who hasn't heard of "Sir (or Master) Blah Blah Blah... Some ridiculous name where you expect to see Conan the barbarian with a whip..... And instead you find some pasty little fellow...Or Some overweight BDG (Basement Dwelling Geek) who spends too much time in front of a monitor???????????

I know a sub who still occaisionally writes and complains.... She has been looking for a "Master" in a rural area... And it seems all she can find are overweight, overage, fellows with one foot in grave and the other on anal lube...
They all have one thing in common... REALLY cool scene names....
Or as we said in conversation ...They don't need a slave...They need a nurse.

But yeah I occaisionally contemplate adopting a "scene name" something exotic...Something that breaks the mold.. Something that will set me apart from all the Dom wannabees......
I think I shall be called ..................................Fred.

(Disclaimer..nah Fred isn't my real name.. It's a "scene name" ...Aint it cool???)

Fred? I dunlike it...it doesnt fit.

 

[graceanne]

Fred? I dunlike it...it doesnt fit.

Nope sure doesn't . . . it's really funny, though.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Nope sure doesn't . . . it's really funny, though.

*giggles and nods*

 

[Guest]

Dangit..... No one takes my nifty spiffy scene name seriously.....
Good thing it wasn't something more pretentious... Or I'd be in real trouble.

 

[WyoD_S]

WyoD_S is only my screen name here, not used anywhere else.

Several years ago upon being invited to join a House, I was given my 'scene' name, SilverWulf (misspelling intentional). That is what I go by everywhere else online, and what most refer to me as in real life as well. Most know my real name, but rarely if ever use it.

I have never insisted on honorifics, they are earned and not demanded. I tell people when meeting them, online or off, that if they think I deserve it then go right ahead. With the exception of Master, only my girl calls me that.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I have always been Lilith, both in a Domme and submissive role.

 

[MechaBlade]

I take titles rather seriously. I don't toss them around with the ease that many do.

I find it baffling when someone self-appoints themselves as a "Lord" or "Master" in a nickname, be it screen or scene. To me, such titles are relationship symbolics...kind of like a mother is a Mommy to her children, but she doesn't usually go around introducing herself as "Mommy Jane". It's a title that comes about because of the relationship and the people in it. Most mothers would have issues if their kids started calling every adult they met "Mommy".

For me, titles withen BDSM are like that....I address my owner as "Ma'am", and that's about the only time you will hear that word come out of my mouth other than out of manners in a vanilla setting (which I apply an entirely different context to). To address anyone else with the same respect I do to her would be, in my opinion, extremely disrespectful to her, and uneccessarily pushy to the other person. They are not my Sir/Ma'am/Master/Mistress/Lord/Whathaveyou...what on earth gives me the right to address them as such? I understand the use of such titles to communicate your preference as far as role in the scene, but I've never found it admirable or acceptable to need to display that so directly, for either end of the scale, top roles or bottom.

Along that same line, what on earth right does some guy that decides he is a "Master" have to insist that everyone address him as such, or at the least imply that is his wishes by using it in his nickname? He ain't my master nor has he done anything to show he even has an inkling of what the title means.

Blanket verbal respect of total strangers by use of titles ain't my kink.

I may be Dawnie's slave but to anyone else I meet in the scene, I'm simply Seri, a woman with submissive interests and experience.

Besides, it seems to be mostly an online thing, and I'm not much into the online scene either. The few times in "real life" I've ever seen someone introduce themselves including a title, it has been by someone that has more than earned the respect of the community through their knowledge and expertise, and that is rare.

To me, "Master" isn't really a title, it's a mere term of address, just like "Mister" or "Miss", meaning he may not be your master, but he is a Master. Shit, I've seen junk mail addressing the addressee as "Master suchandsuch." It's not always an issue of respect. It's an issue of identification.

"Master" and "Mistress" are also important in defining roles, and are a must for sex workers. A worker named "Mistress Candi" lets customers know not to expect a schoolgirl fantasy.

Additionally, addressing a dominant in any other way than "Master", "Sir", "Ma'am" or "Mistress" sounds ridiculous to me, especially if the dominant wants to use a common name or eir own name as a scene name to make the scene more real (e.g. "Master John"). I just can't picture it.

Dom: Kneel, slave.
Sub: Yes, John.

[shudder]

A mother doesn't introduce herself as "Mommy Jane" to others because her status as a mother doesn't come into play in most situations. However, in BDSM scenes, one's role is very important and may not be readily apparent, especially online. I would, however, not be surprised to hear a woman call herself "Mommy Jane" in some sort of infantilism/parent scene. And I wouldn't be suprised if a "baby" in the scene called every female parent in the scene "Mommy" during play.

And I can't figure out for the life of me how a BDSM "community" would get together and unanimously agree to title someone. A group of friends, maybe. But unless there was some sort of committee, I don't understand the process for a community with free and fluid membership. Surely there would be some dissent or members that don't know the person in question.

 

[serijules]

To me, "Master" isn't really a title, it's a mere term of address, just like "Mister" or "Miss", meaning he may not be your master, but he is a Master. Shit, I've seen junk mail addressing the addressee as "Master suchandsuch." It's not always an issue of respect. It's an issue of identification.

I'm speaking of the "BDSM world". In my opinion, those titles take on a different use and meaning in a vanilla sense.

There are tons of assholes out there that have no business holding an implement and no understanding of BDSM and call themselves a Master. I'm not that easily impressed. I've never had any trouble identifying a top from a bottom through simple conversation.

"Master" and "Mistress" are also important in defining roles, and are a must for sex workers. A worker named "Mistress Candi" lets customers know not to expect a schoolgirl fantasy.

I understand the use of Master and Mistress in Pro Dom/me roles, but most I know don't expect or WANT to be addressed that way outside the "job" as they know how empty it is IN the job. Some stranger is submitting to them, for a fee, for a set amount of time, and only cares about his or her own wants during that time. The titles used in those cases are usually about fantasy, not respect.

Additionally, addressing a dominant in any other way than "Master", "Sir", "Ma'am" or "Mistress" sounds ridiculous to me, especially if the dominant wants to use a common name or eir own name as a scene name to make the scene more real (e.g. "Master John"). I just can't picture it.

Dom: Kneel, slave.
Sub: Yes, John.

The point you are missing is that anyone that would speak to me in that manner and that I would respond to with anything other than a look of disdane would be someone I was in a relationship with, and thus, would address then appropriately. I don't understand this mentality some people have that because someone identifies as a slave, any Tom Dick or Harry can walk up to them and give them an order and they will fall to their knees and start babbling in respect. That's a fantasy world that I don't subscribe to. The only person I take orders from, the only person I am a slave to, is my Owner or someone she borrows me to and orders me to address as I would her. Simple as that.

A mother doesn't introduce herself as "Mommy Jane" to others because her status as a mother doesn't come into play in most situations. However, in BDSM scenes, one's role is very important and may not be readily apparent, especially online. I would, however, not be surprised to hear a woman call herself "Mommy Jane" in some sort of infantilism/parent scene. And I wouldn't be suprised if a "baby" in the scene called every female parent in the scene "Mommy" during play.

Adult baby had nothing to do with that example, so I won't even address that. My point in MY post with MY opinions was that I don't live a lifestyle where everyone else's roles matter to me. I'm interested in another person's role in the sense that I would like to know more about them, just as I would like to know that a person has children and is a mother....it tells a lot about them and their life. But beyound that, their status as a mother doesn't affect how I interact with them, and it is the same for me in BDSM. So the address isn't necessary. Beyound conversation and discussion, your role means nothing to me because I am not in a relationship with you and interacting with you in a way that represents that role is not appropriate to me.

And I can't figure out for the life of me how a BDSM "community" would get together and unanimously agree to title someone. A group of friends, maybe. But unless there was some sort of committee, I don't understand the process for a community with free and fluid membership. Surely there would be some dissent or members that don't know the person in question.

I never said there was or should be. I just am of the personal opinion that all these self-imposed titles are a little bit silly and inappropriate and so I don't follow those standards. I'm aware many people do, and that is just fine....by all means carry on. Just don't expect me to conform to that "way" because it isn't my style of BDSM.

Just my opinion and how it works for me. *shrugs* I won't claim to understand your way any more than you understand mine