Do you use a scene name?

[MechaBlade]

I never said there was or should be. I just am of the personal opinion that all these self-imposed titles are a little bit silly and inappropriate and so I don't follow those standards. I'm aware many people do, and that is just fine....by all means carry on. Just don't expect me to conform to that "way" because it isn't my style of BDSM.

Just my opinion and how it works for me. *shrugs* I won't claim to understand your way any more than you understand mine

I think I understand your way. I think you feel the terms have more power than I would say that they have.

But my main point is this: I'd find it extremely offensive if anyone, sub or dominant, didn't call me or a friend by eir name, simply because it had the word "Master" in it.

 

[serijules]

I think I understand your way. I think you feel the terms have more power than I would say that they have.

But my main point is this: I'd find it extremely offensive if anyone, sub or dominant, didn't call me or a friend by eir name, simply because it had the word "Master" in it.

Yes, I do take them with more seriousness than you do, but I pretty much said that in my first reply

And I'd be extremely offended if they insisted on it, because I find it highly inappropriate to do so...ESPECIALLY the term Master/Mistress. Not to mention I am not allowed to refer to anyone as Master or Mistress. Just because someone chooses to use the word in their name does not give them the right to demand or expect to be addressed as such, especially when it goes against the training and ideals of someone else.

I'm not sure I understand why you would be offended though, if the titles don't hold much power to you. It's possible to be polite and respectful without using a title...in fact, another reason why I think blanket use of titles to show respect is not a good thing is because it takes little effort or thought to do so. I personally am more impressed by someone who can show obvious respect with not so simple methods, than in someone who automatically replies "Sir" every time they respond to or address someone.

At any rate, I feel like I'm arguing my opinion, which gets repetious and I don't enjoy doing, so I'm stepping out of this conversation.

 

[Netzach]

I think I understand your way. I think you feel the terms have more power than I would say that they have.

But my main point is this: I'd find it extremely offensive if anyone, sub or dominant, didn't call me or a friend by eir name, simply because it had the word "Master" in it.

If I meet someone at a cocktail party who is friends with my friends and everyone around me is calling him "Paul" and when I call him Paul he corrects me and says "I'm Dr. Smith" I have a title for that person.

Dick.

 

[babiesmiles]

If I meet someone at a cocktail party who is friends with my friends and everyone around me is calling him "Paul" and when I call him Paul he corrects me and says "I'm Dr. Smith" I have a title for that person.

Dick.

Sharp and brilliant as usual Netzach !!

 

[NemoAlia]

In the scenes I've done with Doms who weren't also in some kind of relationship with me, I found a middle ground between the informal (and possibly offensive, to those who title themselves "Master") first name and the formal (and wildly inaccurate, in my mind) Lord Whomever: Just call him mister. Or sir.

This also saves me from the potential embarrassment of shouting out the wrong name at an inopportune moment

 

[catalina_francisco]

Most doms I know would be offended by a submissive addressing them so personally as "Master" and correct them for doing so.

Different areas, different beliefs I guess.

This is also our reality. Titles can and do have a place, but as you said earlier, if they are not your Master/Mistress etc., what gives them the right to expect or demand to be addressed as such by others, and what gives a submissive who has not been given the right the assumption they can begin addressing someone as Master etc.? We have found a lot of subs with mainly OL experience tend to want to adopt the use of titles, but we explain our own reasoning on it, the fact we do not see it as something that should be taken lightly or assumed, and have no problem reminding them they are not in a position to be using them. If they do not like it and feel it is necessary for them to feel submissive, we figure they are not who we are looking for, nor do they have the same view/experience of D/s as we do. Most have actually seen how it can be offensive and/or presumptuous and act accordingly. Placing Master or Mistress before one's name, a Dominant does not necessarily make.

Catalina

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

If I meet someone at a cocktail party who is friends with my friends and everyone around me is calling him "Paul" and when I call him Paul he corrects me and says "I'm Dr. Smith" I have a title for that person.

Dick.

Superb !!

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Hmmmmm....

There is a difference between a title and a name. A title is an honorific, earned or bestowed on someone. A name is something that identifies one human being from another. Names can be given by parents, or self chosen, such as a nom de plume, or nom de guerre, or a "professional name" (like Hulk Hogan, who's real name is Terry Jean Bollette {or Terry Bollea [depending on the source]} ).

For example:

Her name is Queen Latifah (even though she was born Dana Owens). Would you refuse to call her Queen because it is her "professional" name and includes a title?

His name is Prince (well... it was. He was given the name Prince Roger Nelson by his parents, at birth. Then he lost his ever loving mind and changed it to something no one could spell, pronounce, or duplicate with keystrokes on a computer. I think he regained his sanity and changed it back to Prince but I may have heard that incorrectly...). Would you refuse to call him Prince?

Her name is Moon Unit... His is Dweezil. Would you not call them by their names, as crazy as those names may seem to us?

Who are we to refuse to address someone by their name? Who declared any of us the judge of the worthiness if someone decides to use a _title_ as part of their name? Lord know's there are enough freaking parents out there calling their kids, Princess, Baron, Duchess (I've met one!), etc...

Hellooo, one of our own Moderators whole freaking nick is a _title_: Marquis

I can and will address someone in any formal occassion by the name they have chosen. In informal occassions they will get called John, Jane, Bob, Darlene, whatever. And I don't get my knickers in an uproar if they decide their "name" is SupremeMaximumGalacticOverlord. I'll call 'em "El Supremo" until they get over the self-aggrandizement, or decide they can't stand me and leave... *LOL*

If a slave or submissive has been given the title boy, or girl, slave or pet as part of their name by their owner, who am I to disrespect the owner's decision? I called boy bob Harris, "boy bob" until I was invited by Master Doug to speak to him as bob. I STILL call him boy bob in general conversation because boy was also a title, and I respected that title.

Much the same way I still call Master Doug, Master Doug. Or Master Skip Chasey, Master Skip. Or Master Steve Sampson, Master Steve. Or Queen Cougar, Queen. Or slave marsha. Or girl kim.

There is a time, there is a place, there is a reason, there is a season. I can say the word "Master" with respect, with awe, even with reverence. I can also say it with utter disdain and sarcasm. I can say "Sir" and have it mean "SIR!". Or "cur". The same holds true for ANY title or "honorific" earned or used as part of someone's name. What I speak, and what I _mean_ by what I am speaking, can be very very different things.

Addressing Queen Latifah and Queen Elizabeth by name does not mean the same thing. Treating them both with respect, and dignity, with courtesy and civility, regardless of their station, does.

These are, of course, just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Oh, and all you Gorean trained kajira and kajiru... You may address me as Master Geoff (Geoff Sir also works) if your owners require you to address Dominants simply as "Master"... *grin* The rest of you... just don't call me late for dinner.

 

[chris9]

If I meet someone at a cocktail party who is friends with my friends and everyone around me is calling him "Paul" and when I call him Paul he corrects me and says "I'm Dr. Smith" I have a title for that person.

Dick.

And if I meet someone at a cocktail party whom everyone around me is calling "Dr. Smith", I'd call him that, too. And try to avoid him.

Online, if someone is called FurryFury, graceanne or kajira_callista, I call them that, until I figure out that they are generally referred to, and refer to themselves, as Fury, gracie, and KC. If they name themselves MasterFrog, or LadyBanana, I call them that, until I figure out that they are called by their friends, or call themselves, Frog and Banana. I might think they are strange people and stay away from them.

 

[MechaBlade]

Just because someone chooses to use the word in their name does not give them the right to demand or expect to be addressed as such

It most certainly does.

especially when it goes against the training and ideals of someone else.

A suitable excuse.

I'm not sure I understand why you would be offended though, if the titles don't hold much power to you.

It's not a title in this case, it's a name.

If I meet someone at a cocktail party who is friends with my friends and everyone around me is calling him "Paul" and when I call him Paul he corrects me and says "I'm Dr. Smith" I have a title for that person.

Dick.

My point is that everyone is calling him "Dr. Smith," actually not even Dr. Smith, they're calling him "Frederick Smith" and some person walks up and says "Hey, Freddy!" That's rude.

 

[Vixandra]

In a crowd or in a group with another of my first name, I tend to ignore my given name.
I'll answer to Vix, Vixi, or Vixandra though.

Not really picky about what I'm called in scene though.
But I also truely dislike being called "Ma'am, Mistress, Goddess" or whatever by a sub that isn't mine. I'm with serijules on this one- its based on the relationship. I cannot be some random strangers Mistress, am not a Goddess and being called "Ma'am" anywhere outside a military setting makes me feel older then my years.

 

[LadyAria]

Hmmmmm....

There is a difference between a title and a name. A title is an honorific, earned or bestowed on someone. A name is something that identifies one human being from another. Names can be given by parents, or self chosen, such as a nom de plume, or nom de guerre, or a "professional name" (like Hulk Hogan, who's real name is Terry Jean Bollette {or Terry Bollea [depending on the source]} ).

For example:

Her name is Queen Latifah (even though she was born Dana Owens). Would you refuse to call her Queen because it is her "professional" name and includes a title?

His name is Prince (well... it was. He was given the name Prince Roger Nelson by his parents, at birth. Then he lost his ever loving mind and changed it to something no one could spell, pronounce, or duplicate with keystrokes on a computer. I think he regained his sanity and changed it back to Prince but I may have heard that incorrectly...). Would you refuse to call him Prince?

Her name is Moon Unit... His is Dweezil. Would you not call them by their names, as crazy as those names may seem to us?

Who are we to refuse to address someone by their name? Who declared any of us the judge of the worthiness if someone decides to use a _title_ as part of their name? Lord know's there are enough freaking parents out there calling their kids, Princess, Baron, Duchess (I've met one!), etc...

Hellooo, one of our own Moderators whole freaking nick is a _title_: Marquis

I can and will address someone in any formal occassion by the name they have chosen. In informal occassions they will get called John, Jane, Bob, Darlene, whatever. And I don't get my knickers in an uproar if they decide their "name" is SupremeMaximumGalacticOverlord. I'll call 'em "El Supremo" until they get over the self-aggrandizement, or decide they can't stand me and leave... *LOL*

If a slave or submissive has been given the title boy, or girl, slave or pet as part of their name by their owner, who am I to disrespect the owner's decision? I called boy bob Harris, "boy bob" until I was invited by Master Doug to speak to him as bob. I STILL call him boy bob in general conversation because boy was also a title, and I respected that title.

Much the same way I still call Master Doug, Master Doug. Or Master Skip Chasey, Master Skip. Or Master Steve Sampson, Master Steve. Or Queen Cougar, Queen. Or slave marsha. Or girl kim.

There is a time, there is a place, there is a reason, there is a season. I can say the word "Master" with respect, with awe, even with reverence. I can also say it with utter disdain and sarcasm. I can say "Sir" and have it mean "SIR!". Or "cur". The same holds true for ANY title or "honorific" earned or used as part of someone's name. What I speak, and what I _mean_ by what I am speaking, can be very very different things.

Addressing Queen Latifah and Queen Elizabeth by name does not mean the same thing. Treating them both with respect, and dignity, with courtesy and civility, regardless of their station, does.

These are, of course, just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Oh, and all you Gorean trained kajira and kajiru... You may address me as Master Geoff (Geoff Sir also works) if your owners require you to address Dominants simply as "Master"... *grin* The rest of you... just don't call me late for dinner.

Damn you are good, I second all of the above.

 

[jadefirefly]

Wow.

Um. I'm generally jade, I guess. No particular reason for the lowercase other than that I'm lazy and think it looks cuter that way.

So most online know me as jade, or jade firefly. Sometimes just firefly, but that's rare.

I'll also answer to Chii. That's a wholly different and rather strange story.

I really don't much like my own name -- except when C. says it in *that* way -- so I'll almost always answer to any of the above names easily.

I don't know if any of them qualify as a 'scene' name, as I'm not certain that outside of Lit, I actually am part of a 'scene'. *shrug*

 

[serijules]

Um, if someone's birth name is Master, sure, I'll call him that. The context changes in such a case. I'm not an idiot, I just am not up to stroking people's ego's because they want give themselves important sounding nicknames that don't fit with my personal beliefs. If I started demanding everyone in my life address me as Dr Seri when I don't have so much a degree to my name, I'm sure some people will take issue with that as well...especially those who DO have that degree. Just because someone incorperates a title into a nickname and says "hey, this is my nickname!", it doesn't take change how I feel about tossing titles around like candy, thus, how I treat and use those titles is not going to change.

I have no such standards for titles like Queen, Prince, King, whathave you...I don't live a royal lifestyle. I live a BDSM lifestyle and thus, certain titles hold more meaning and value to me. So I treat them with the respect I feel they deserve by reserving them for the people in my life they are appropriate for. How that compares to anything else is pointless because the only thing I am referring to here is BDSM titles. I'm not even referring to their "vanilla" uses....I separate them. The title that I hold to a particular regard is, for example, a Master, being a male owner of a submissive that lives a BDSM lifestyle. It isn't someone with a high belt in TKD, it isn't a head of estate role. If I'm in a situation where the title is paired with that particular definition, yes, I'm certain my feelings will be adjusted. What I'm talking about, is a BDSM lifestyle and the titles therein...got it?

Sheesh!

Besides, I'm also talking about real life here, and in my reality, people just don't use long, flowery, descriptive nicknames when introducing themselves should we meet in person, so it isn't an issue. When someone DOES introduce themselves using those particular titles and demands submissive and/or dominants address them as such, they are not likely going to be someone that I'm going to be conversing with much, just as I would not converse much with someone who's name is Jesus_Saves, since I am agnostic and am not much interested in being around people who are extremely vocal about their religious beliefs. I've met at least 90 people from online over the years....all of them had nicknames. Not a single one has ever been introduced to me by those online nicknames without an alternative name, other than to say "Seri, this is Bob, you know him online as Slut_Fucker".

2 guesses what I call him from then on out.

Im grumpy. Im going to bed.

 

[Marquis]

Hellooo, one of our own Moderators whole freaking nick is a _title_: Marquis

Heh heh, pretty good, huh?

 

[MechaBlade]

Hmmmmm....

There is a difference between a title and a name. A title is an honorific, earned or bestowed on someone. A name is something that identifies one human being from another. Names can be given by parents, or self chosen, such as a nom de plume, or nom de guerre, or a "professional name" (like Hulk Hogan, who's real name is Terry Jean Bollette {or Terry Bollea [depending on the source]} ).

For example:

Her name is Queen Latifah (even though she was born Dana Owens). Would you refuse to call her Queen because it is her "professional" name and includes a title?

His name is Prince (well... it was. He was given the name Prince Roger Nelson by his parents, at birth. Then he lost his ever loving mind and changed it to something no one could spell, pronounce, or duplicate with keystrokes on a computer. I think he regained his sanity and changed it back to Prince but I may have heard that incorrectly...). Would you refuse to call him Prince?

Her name is Moon Unit... His is Dweezil. Would you not call them by their names, as crazy as those names may seem to us?

Who are we to refuse to address someone by their name? Who declared any of us the judge of the worthiness if someone decides to use a _title_ as part of their name? Lord know's there are enough freaking parents out there calling their kids, Princess, Baron, Duchess (I've met one!), etc...

Hellooo, one of our own Moderators whole freaking nick is a _title_: Marquis

I can and will address someone in any formal occassion by the name they have chosen. In informal occassions they will get called John, Jane, Bob, Darlene, whatever. And I don't get my knickers in an uproar if they decide their "name" is SupremeMaximumGalacticOverlord. I'll call 'em "El Supremo" until they get over the self-aggrandizement, or decide they can't stand me and leave... *LOL*

If a slave or submissive has been given the title boy, or girl, slave or pet as part of their name by their owner, who am I to disrespect the owner's decision? I called boy bob Harris, "boy bob" until I was invited by Master Doug to speak to him as bob. I STILL call him boy bob in general conversation because boy was also a title, and I respected that title.

Much the same way I still call Master Doug, Master Doug. Or Master Skip Chasey, Master Skip. Or Master Steve Sampson, Master Steve. Or Queen Cougar, Queen. Or slave marsha. Or girl kim.

There is a time, there is a place, there is a reason, there is a season. I can say the word "Master" with respect, with awe, even with reverence. I can also say it with utter disdain and sarcasm. I can say "Sir" and have it mean "SIR!". Or "cur". The same holds true for ANY title or "honorific" earned or used as part of someone's name. What I speak, and what I _mean_ by what I am speaking, can be very very different things.

Addressing Queen Latifah and Queen Elizabeth by name does not mean the same thing. Treating them both with respect, and dignity, with courtesy and civility, regardless of their station, does.

These are, of course, just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Oh, and all you Gorean trained kajira and kajiru... You may address me as Master Geoff (Geoff Sir also works) if your owners require you to address Dominants simply as "Master"... *grin* The rest of you... just don't call me late for dinner.

Seconded.

And I want to meet Master Skip. What an awesome dom name: "Master Skip."

 

[shy slave]

I use the name that they were given when they were introduced to me.

I go to munches and parties but I have never ever been introduced to someone as Master....or Sir....

I have met subs who introduce me to their master and say as much, but their master has always said 'Hi my name is John/Joe/whatever.

I can't imagine being in company where someone used a self given title.

As for professional titles, again I am usually only find out they are a Dr, Right Honerable etc after we have been introduced.

I often go out without Andante due to our being LDR. I always wear a collar and when introduced to single Doms who are told I am shyslave from the boards; I tell them my real name and say how sorry I am they are not able to meet my owner, but perhaps that will happen at a future event.

I don't call then Master they don't call me slave.
Some have called me shy or shyslave which is ok if thats what they want to do, but they usually revert to my given name.

I have a friend whose name was changed to by her previous master and all his friends and anyone who was around her when he was there, had to call her by her new name. It seemed alot of nonsense to me as well as hard work to remember who she was, when.

Edit to add
I also remember when we were discussing a euro lit together before, I asked Francisco what the protocol was if subs met Doms at the get together. It seems a long time ago now, but shows just how I have changed and feel more comfortable in my own skin.

Thinking of Marquis name, yes if I met him I would use that name; as thats how I know him. The same would apply to any online people I meet. I call Dolf, Dolf. Even though its not her name, it suits her and frankly I feel awkward calling her anything else.

 

[FurryFury]

At the demo and play party I went to recently the man putting on the Demo was called Sir and introduced to me that way.

I believe I said, "It's a pleasure to meet you." When we shook hands or something to that effect. I didn't call him Sir but everyone who wanted to try his talents did. *grins* It was pretty much required by him. He was pretty good! I liked him.

Fury