Face Slapping

[DustyWolfe]

I've been thinking about this, and have discussed it with another Domme... This is something that I would definitely call a hard limit. My ex used to slap me alot and it just really tore me up.

I think that if the person I was collared by slapped me it would destroy me, not to mention cause me to associate my bad feelings of the past with the new Domme.

I would likely remove my collar and walk out.

 

[A Desert Rose]

It's a definate NO

for me at least. I have never slapped anyone in the face nor have I been slapped. It is the ulitmate in humiliation of another individual and it's degrading, in my OPINION, at least. Different strokes for others is fine by me.

Nothing is more counter-productive to changing behavior than the humiliation of another person.

There are better places to slap- that's why God made tushies.

Rose

 

[rosco rathbone]

oh yeah

Hi I'm rosco, a new person.

I'm very interested to read about people's various reactions to face-slapping. I wouldn't have guessed that they would be so negative. I have always had a thing about hitting the face. Basically it's totally hot to me. Of course, you always have to be careful, and yadda yadda.

The connotations of "Burning Bed"/wifebeating really float my boat. I can't say that this is a feeling I would announce down on mainstreet on a sandwhich board around my neck, but there it is.

A couple of people have mentioned that the humiliation factor is key. I think that is right on target. It's funny to think that someone who is willing to beat an ass until it is purple with sub-skin bleeding feels squeamish about a single good hard slap to the head. Someone else said "the head is where we _live_...." (emphasis mine); I say, exactly, that's why I like to hit there.

One of my favorite books;

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...f=sr_1_1/002-4617211-8896054?v=glance&s=books

has this to say (in paraphrase): "...while it is never right to strike your woman with a closed fist, there are times when she may have gotten carried away or forgotten herself and nothing will serve better to remind her of who is boss than a slap to the face..."

I don't neccesarily agree with that as relationship advice, but it sure makes my penis hard.

The connotations are all wonderful.....the Interrogation (..."for the last time, where is the rebel ammunition cache???...LIES, all LIES!!" *whack whack whack*)....the Pimpslap ("...two hunnerd dollars? That it? Bitch get your fat stinkin ass back out on that street and make me some real money!" *whack*)...the angry Dad ("...don't you ever backsass me again!...."). And those are just the generic , obvious ones.

Hyoo miliation. That's it. The face slap, get down on your knees and drink sperm, cunt thing. But I see I am in the minority.

rosco

 

[RisiaSkye]

Face-slapping, and humiliation in general, are very confusing for me. This is my hot-button, the limit that's most unpredictable and scary. This is my edge.

I was abused as a kid, in quite a few sometimes inventive ways, and I hated it. Today, I'm a masochist...and the "pain" I take never reaches my TRUE limits, because I've been-there-done-that with pain. It's a toy only because I spent years struggling to not let it break me. The emotional side of my childhood, though, is a more active ghost...one that still speaks to my self-image. I still struggle not to see myself in the terms I was given--as cheap trash. So, what does it mean that I have fantasies which are totally degrading and humiliating, and I get off on it? Just talking about some of these things is humiliating--and thus wildly exciting. What the fuck does that say about me? This fucks with my head tremendously.

It's all well and good to say that it's just a game, it's part of the kink, it doesn't mean anything. I'm not as glib in my assurance of that. It is degrading--it's making yourself an object, a toy, and begging to be further objectified. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing necessarily, but let's not kid ourselves either.

I've done quite a few permutations of the verbal/emotional/face-slapping kinda stuff. It's very exciting, if I'm in a good emotional place and get good aftercare. It's incredibly damaging to me and the relationship when those things aren't in place. I didn't do it for years because of really bad experience with MF, my first Dom. Looking back on it now, it was an emotionally unhealthy relationship on lots of levels--so I can't really point to whether that bad humiliation stuff was cause or sympton.. So, to this day I remain a little uneasy about it. Of course, in keeping with the Divine Spirits' great sense of humor, that's where the biggest turn-ons live--in the dark corners we're afraid of.

Scening is a step into fantasy-land, and that's why it's so intense and wonderful. But when you live 24/7 with a person, it can be tough to draw the line where that role (as a thing), that way of seeing yourself ends. So, both you and your partner have to be able to come out of it more emotionally in tune to the other's needs and responses. And don't go anywhere too quickly. (My worst sub-drop experience was due to doing this kinda play with an emotionally unavailable Dominant; not an experience I'd recommend.)


Just my $.02

 

[A Desert Rose]

Face-slapping, and humiliation in general, are very confusing for me. This is my hot-button, the limit that's most unpredictable and scary. This is my edge.

It's all well and good to say that it's just a game, it's part of the kink, it doesn't mean anything. I'm not as glib in my assurance of that. It is degrading--it's making yourself an object, a toy, and begging to be further objectified. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing necessarily, but let's not kid ourselves either.
my $.02

Yes. Enough said and said extremely well, as always, by Risia. Now, I have a time tee. Have a lovely day, everyone.

Rose

 

[WillowPuss]

Face slapping and humiliation is a hard, set in concrete hard, limit for me.

I just am unable to handle sarcasm, name calling or public humiliation in any form. This is a hang-up from my teens and some bad issues there - but even after 30 years, a poorly chosen word or phrase said at the wrong moment, or when I am not prepared for it ... and I am a quivering mess.

 

[SierraMoon]

ok,ok, i guess i'm definately in the minority here...
i enjoy face slapping (no.. not the snap your head back and give you whiplash kind...).. just a gentle slap puts me in my place,reminds me that i am under his control.(although, my favorite kind of face slapping doesn't happen with his hand.... but another one of his extremities... hehe )

 

[~Dream~]

I agree with Des..

A light tap is a maybe for me. Anything truly hard would feel abusive to me.

_____________________
I could and would tolerate a 'light tap but in all honesty,I find that slapping of ANY kind to the face is quite disrespectful and distasteful ,to me..JMHO

 

[~Dream~]

I've been thinking about this, and have discussed it with another Domme... This is something that I would definitely call a hard limit. My ex used to slap me alot and it just really tore me up.

I think that if the person I was collared by slapped me it would destroy me, not to mention cause me to associate my bad feelings of the past with the new Domme.

I would likely remove my collar and walk out.

_______________________________________

after thiking MORE about it Dusty,I MUST agree with You..I tolerated(noyt that I had a REAL choice ) 3 years of physical abuse from my ex(my children's father)..I would Not in anyway want to EVER be reminded of that or associate My Master with
such an ASSHOLE..NOT to mention my collar is to remind me of His Love Not as a humilihation..

 

[~Dream~]

Re: oh yeah

Hi I'm rosco, a new person.

I'm very interested to read about people's various reactions to face-slapping. I wouldn't have guessed that they would be so negative. I have always had a thing about hitting the face. Basically it's totally hot to me. Of course, you always have to be careful, and yadda yadda.

_____________________________
welcome to the Forum Roscoe,while I do NOT agree with your opinions,I do However respect Your rights to voice them..

 

[Desdemona]

ok,ok, i guess i'm definately in the minority here...
i enjoy face slapping (no.. not the snap your head back and give you whiplash kind...).. just a gentle slap puts me in my place,reminds me that i am under his control.(although, my favorite kind of face slapping doesn't happen with his hand.... but another one of his extremities... hehe )

Ooh Sierra, I like being slapped with that "other extremity".

 

[rosco rathbone]

cocklashing

"Ooh Sierra, I like being slapped with that "other extremity""

If you sort of swing your hips, you can really lace someone with a good cock lashing. Someday I'm gonna give someone a black eye like that....

Hello artful dream thank you for the kind welcome.

roscoe

 

[Soron]

Hurray for being in the minority!

This is one of my absolute favorite actions. It gets all my headrush emotions in one casual blow: fear, pain, shock, humiliation, outrage at the aforementioned emotions and then despair as I realize it doesn't matter at all, that my rage only gets me more. Love it. Also love the little sounds I make. Also love that T loves it exactly as much as I do, for probably all the reasons mentioned above and then some.

Disclaimers: 1.) we're gonna work into it gradually. 2.) I trust both his common sense and his control over his strength. He is very aware of his body and its potential to do serious damage. He is equally aware of my pain tolerance and my need to work that line up slowly. 3.) Whatever other reassurance you need. o)

the disclamers do it all for me...I have done this from the Dominant side of the equation...it is truly not for everyone...it takes talking about it first...it was done for intensity though not for humiliation...there was buildup and then soft slapping...it did increase somewhat and then she gave her safeword and that was it ...it is not something I would enjoy doing on a regular basis...for one thing it seems it would be like pussy spanking...after a while the nerves would be rendered numb from that kind of activity...to each their own as long as safety is practiced

 

[Desdemona]

Re: cocklashing

"Ooh Sierra, I like being slapped with that "other extremity""

If you sort of swing your hips, you can really lace someone with a good cock lashing. Someday I'm gonna give someone a black eye like that....

Hello artful dream thank you for the kind welcome.

roscoe

Roscoe, be careful with that thing. Sounds like you have a dangerous weapon.

 

[rosco rathbone]

weapon

It's all cakes & pies until someone loses an eye.....

 

[Feelinfroggy]

Re: cocklashing

"Ooh Sierra, I like being slapped with that "other extremity""

If you sort of swing your hips, you can really lace someone with a good cock lashing. Someday I'm gonna give someone a black eye like that....

Hello artful dream thank you for the kind welcome.

roscoe

I had a boyfriend who thwapped me on the head with his semi-erect penis every time he walked past me without pants on. It never turned me on; it was just too silly.

 

[rosco rathbone]

sillliness

"I had a boyfriend who thwapped me on the head with his semi-erect penis every time he walked past me without pants on. It never turned me on; it was just too silly."

Perhaps he was my doppelganger, or good twin.....that sounds exactly like something I would do.

rosco

 

[Feelinfroggy]

Re: sillliness

Perhaps he was my doppelganger, or good twin.....that sounds exactly like something I would do.

rosco [/B]

That would make you the evil twin?

 

[subtledecadence]

Face Slapping to me is not so much about humiliation as it is about intensifying the play. I'm a part of the minority here as well, I love it, and will on occassion provoke it. Not so much an "eating your teeth" type of slap, nor one that would leave a bruise. More of a hot stinging sensation, with a gentle carress afterward on the same cheek **

subtledecadence

 

[P. B. Walker]

I thought this might be a good thread to bump up.

I recently watched several videos with quite a bit of face slapping. It was surprising to me.. and a tad bit of a turn on. It wasn't full out slapping, but rather more playful love taps. But it got the point across. The look on her face after the slap.... the shock... the mouth dropped open... the gasp of amazement... Mmm shockingly kinda of a turn on. But again, not real slapping... but rather love taps... just done without warning.

Anyhoo... maybe some of the newbies would like add their thoughts on this.

PBW "<slap> I said SUCK! Not kiss, slut!"

 

[Goddess Helena]

I have only slapped My boy once.
I was in a rage and regret doing it.

However, I did get My point across and he never repeated the displeasing behavior again.
Face slapping is not a part of normal interaction for Myself and My boy.
Nor do I see it ever being a part of what I do as a Domme.
It is not My way.


Helena

 

[Red Menace]

I absolutely hate it.

Sir has done it a few times... just a light tap, nothing that even came close to hurting... but the anger it provokes in me is not something I enjoy. I really struggle not to slap him back when he does that.

 

[Bondagebunni]

I never thought face slapping would be something i'd be into..just seemed...i dunno...dangerous. But i trust my Dom (rocket, i love you! sorry...couldn't resist adding that!) and the first time he slapped me, not hard...just enough to sting a little, it was like a whole new level. It made me hotter than i already was. There's something about being under his controll...trusting him to hit me and not bruise or hurt...*happy sigh* Just that occationally slap when he fucking me...with a good "slut" thrown in...makes my hips buck and....i'm going to stop before i start drooling ^^;; heh...

(pbw-thanks for bumbing, this is a good thread!)

 

[serijules]

hmm I remember replying to this...maybe not lol

anyhow, face slapping is a hot button for me.

Now mind you, a full out slap that would bruise or make my head spin or see stars or something like that is certainly a limit. But if done right, for me, is extremely erotic. They key is how hard, and the emotion that it's done with.

I want it to be hard enough that I feel it, that my cheek stings from it, but I'm not going to be walking around hours later with a handprint on my face. There can be no real anger involved either.

The last time I played with a particular partner, we were laying on the bed after a long afternoon of playing, and he asked me if I had ever had my face slapped or if I wanted to have my face slapped. It completely took me by surprise because it was a rather secret hot fantasy of mine for so long, and has been so erotic the few times I've had it done, but since it seems to be such a turn-off for so many, I really didn't expect him to ask or offer. So I stammered out a No, and he dropped the subject.

I was kicking myself for weeks for that, because I really wanted it. I finally shared that with him, and he admitted it was very hot for him too, and wanted to try it with me.

Our fantasy involves me on my knees in front of him, sucking his cock. (as I do often when we play, he is very big on oral) He likes his nipples tugged and pinched when I do this, and this is something I hate to do and have a hard time remembering to do. I also like having my hair pulled, so if I forget to play with his nipples, he will grab my hair, pull me off his cock and slap my face with a stern reminder of what my fingers should be doing.

I do NOT like humiliation usually, but for some reason this scene is extremely hot for me. Takes a high level of trust though, andI would never want it from someone without my prior consent first.

 

[slvjenn]

yeah for me face slapping can be good. Hard slaps are bad and don't do anything for me. It's not how hard it is, but the meaning behind it.

The very fact that anyone doing it in everyday life would incite rage is the very reason I like it.

Just hard enough for there to be a bit of a slapping sound is good, and even that can sting a bit.

I also like being slapped with the "other extremity"