Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[SmokingFap]

Are you hungry? I've got an extra tuna salad sandwich with garlic and blue cheese in my back pocket. It should be nice and warm.

 

[SmokingFap]

Are you hungry? I've got an extra tuna salad sandwich with garlic and blue cheese in my back pocket. It should be nice and warm.

I was totally saying that in Ricky Bobby's voice in my mind.

 

[Kittycity]

I've lost my scales, will you guess my weight if I sit on your face?

 

[crazychemgirl]

I heard you like roast beef…

 

[Pad_Foot]

Wanna play with some Lego's to prove important chemistry stuff???

 

[SmokingFap]

My urologist says I've got an enlarged prostate. Would you mind giving me a second opinion?

 

[SmokingFap]

If I had an inch for every time a woman said my penis was too small...

 

[Great_Scot]

I've lost my scales, will you guess my weight if I sit on your face?

 

[Taegul]

Want to see how comfortable the back seat of a 1973 Pinto is?

 

[SmokingFap]

Want to see how comfortable the back seat of a 1973 Pinto is?

I'm sure that would be an explosive experience.

 

[Shenanigans90]

I came here tonight so you could check having multiple orgasms off your bucket list.

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

I have come to chew bubblegum and eat ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

 

[Alancaster78]

Do you use windex to wash your panties?

Cause I can see myself in them!

 

[TomTeacher19]

I have a rare condition where I age two years every half an hour, so please have sex with me now because by tomorrow I'll be dead.

 

[Anastasia1999]

I have come to chew bubblegum and eat ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

I seem to have lost my number—can I have yours?

 

[Artfan2]

I heard you like roast beef…

So, um, how do you like yours done?

 

[Kittycity]

There's an actual song and Monty Python too, hilarious

 

[SmokingFap]

I have come to chew bubblegum and eat ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

Even better than Roddy Piper's original line. Which is one of the greatest lines in movie history.

 

[crazychemgirl]

I seem to have lost my bra … can you hold these for me?

 

[lavendersilk]

I seem to have lost my bra … can you hold these for me?

This would work on me... and 100% of the population.

 

[Booboobear84]

I've lost my scales, will you guess my weight if I sit on your face?

You need to work on your incompetence

 

[SmokingFap]

You like games? This is my favorite one. I'm going to put this golf ball in this garden hose. See if you can suck it through to your end.

 

[Great_Scot]

This would work on me... and 100% of the population.

If you are holding hers, who's going to hold yours

 

[Kittycity]

I've got this great party trick, when I sit on my knees I can shape my mouth like a donut

 

[Taegul]

I want to take you out to dinner, and I hope you order a happy ending to go with your Happy Meal.