Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[SmokingFap]

Do you want to go to a haunted house and attend a seance with me?

That actually would be amazingly exciting. Could we make it a naked seance? Would be easier to explain the knocking sound coming from under the table.

 

[MiChiquita2022]

W

I will ranch in your meat pocket whenever, doll.

What? No blue cheese?

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I can last an hour and 30 seconds, during day light savings.

 

[Shymidwestgirl]

Let’s role play…. Can you be a billionaire, gorgeous, and kind vampire and I’ll be the shy, naive, and beautiful girl. Oh wait does that sound creepy and too much? Ok umm never mind. That’s not a fantasy or anything of mine.

 

[SmokingFap]

W

What? No blue cheese?

Better than blue balls.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

W

What? No blue cheese?

That's only for special occasions, like I'm out on parole.

 

[MiChiquita2022]

That's only for special occasions, like I'm out on parole.

Parole? Now we're talking

 

[Bry1313]

Let’s role play…. Can you be a billionaire, gorgeous, and kind vampire and I’ll be the shy, naive, and beautiful girl. Oh wait does that sound creepy and too much? Ok umm never mind. That’s not a fantasy or anything of mine.

Let me be your “never again”

 

[SmokingFap]

Let’s role play…. Can you be a billionaire, gorgeous, and kind vampire and I’ll be the shy, naive, and beautiful girl.

Sorry, babe, but you're not that good an actress.

 

[ImpishSeraph]

I don't like to give pleasure; I only like to receive it.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Wanna come home with me?

Who him?

Nah, he’s just my parole officer. As long as I don’t go within 50yards of my house I’m ok.

 

[Taegul]

Out of the entire gun show, yours were the only ones I couldn't stop staring at. Are they for sale?

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Parole? Now we're talking

Just don't mind the ankle bracelet.

 

[MiChiquita2022]

Just don't mind the ankle bracelet.

Can I touch it?

 

[crazychemgirl]

Wanna fuck?

Do you mind just swiping your credit card here first?

No, it’s totally not gonna charge you.., I just want to do a credit check first.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Wanna come home with me?

Who him?

Nah, he’s just my parole officer. As long as I don’t go within 50yards of my house I’m ok.

Just don't be like my ex staring at the parole officer the entire time saying "oh yea you like that big boy"

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Can I touch it?

Just don't yank on it too hard, don't need the cops swarming, again today.

 

[ImpishSeraph]

Don't give me that look, @ImpishSeraph. You HAD to have known that was my line.

I made it up as I typed it to match your picture LoL

How bout...cum on me baby, Light my fire?

 

[SmokingFap]

I made it up as I typed it to match your picture LoL

How bout...cum on me baby, Light my fire?

You had me at cum.

 

[SmokingFap]

Wanna fuck?

Do you mind just swiping your credit card here first?

No, it’s totally not gonna charge you.., I just want to do a credit check first.

Oh, please. Like you don't take coins.

 

[Biggalute]

I work for Autoglass, I have a special resin, perfect for filling your crack

 

[Taegul]

Dear attractive Litster I've been appreciating for a very long time,

I am Prince Taegul from Nigeria. Your help would be very much appreciated. I want to transfer all of my fortune outside of Nigeria due to a frozen account. If you could be so kind and transfer the small sum of 5,000 US dollars to my account, I would be able to unfreeze my account and transfer my money outside of Nigeria. To repay your kindness, I will send 1,000,000 US dollars to your account...

 

[crazychemgirl]

I heard you like butts….


Can you buy me one?

 

[Taegul]

I heard you like butts….


Can you buy me one?

Why don't you sit in my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.

 

[deft]

If England win tonight, I’ll show you my Pannini sticker album. I have swapsies!