Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[crazychemgirl]

That stain on my mattress is totally Diet Coke … not blood … definitely not murder victim blood… it was a 2L

 

[Qky75]

Ooh, that's where I've seen you before.... You wanna take a ride in my candy van??

Gosh aheh...I hope they have sugar free stuff in there

 

[Qky75]

That stain on my mattress is totally Diet Coke … not blood … definitely not murder victim blood… it was a 2L

Oh c'mon admit it was evidence of alcohol filled ending to the week and the beginning of shark week in a slimy collision

 

[MindYaBitness]

Oh c'mon admit it was evidence of alcohol filled ending to the week and the beginning of shark week in a slimy collision

New kink unlocked

 

[Photog1rl]

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you’ve got a pretty sweet ass.

 

[Wand3rlust]

No, no, it's all cool.

Mental chicks are my bag.

 

[Taegul]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I want you to blow me
Like a kazoo.

Hopeless romantic

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you’ve got a pretty sweet ass.

Don't you dare get a cavity on my behalf! I'll have to fill that molar.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you’ve got a pretty sweet ass.

I roll insular to draw ants. Excellent source of protein. Anyway, you want a high protein cookie...ya, those are totally chocolate chips...

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

I roll insular to draw ants. Excellent source of protein. Anyway, you want a high protein cookie...ya, those are totally chocolate chips...

If nothing lasts forever…will you be my nothing?

A corny line my grandfather used to use once upon a time….

 

[Qky75]

New kink unlocked

 

[Photog1rl]

Are you a campfire? Because you are hot and I want s’more of you.

 

[SmokingFap]

I've got this great party trick, when I sit on my knees I can shape my mouth like a donut

Something something glazed something.

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

Are you a campfire? Because you are hot and I want s’more of you.

Can you take off your clothes so I can see where you hide your angel wings?

 

[TheMrBurns]

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you’ve got a pretty sweet ass.

Do you want ants because that's how get ants in your... ahem... Danger Zooooone!

 

[Photog1rl]

If you were a fruit, you’d be a melon because you’ve got huge ones.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Hey, has anyone told you - you're smokin'.....


No, like seriously, I think your seat may be on fire...

 

[Polranny]

I would need a wide angle lens to capture your smile, you really do havve a big mouth

 

[SmokingFap]

If I tell you you have a beautiful body, will you please put this bag on your head?

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

 

[SmokingFap]

Do you want ants because that's how get ants in your... ahem... Danger Zooooone!

An Archer reference for the win!

 

[Photog1rl]

Are you a firework because you light up my world and I can't tell if it’s romantic or a potential hazard.

 

[dawn_of_night]

Me to the pretty girl: Hoosier?
Pretty Girl: Hoosier? What?
Me... Whose your Daddy?
Pretty girl: ...
Me: ....

 

[Photog1rl]

If I tell you you have a beautiful body, will you please put this bag on your head?

Only one?

 

[Taegul]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I wanna dip my sausage
In your fondue.