Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[dawn_of_night]

I'm no Taylor Swift fan, but girl.... I've got a blank space for you...

 

[kymusicguy]

Hey, I would love to go out on a boob with you - I mean a date

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

If I flip this coin what are the chances of me getting head?

 

[Photog1rl]

Can I help you loosen your belt? It looks really tight.

 

[Taegul]

If I flip this coin what are the chances of me getting head?

I think it will be tail every time. SCORE!

 

[Photog1rl]

What's your name? I need to know what I'll be screaming tonight.

 

[SmokingFap]

Hey, Photog1rl, I've got a 10"cock. You want me to go grab it for you?

 

[UnquietDreams]

If I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you.

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

I must be in a museum because you are a true work of art…

 

[UnquietDreams]

What's your name? I need to know what I'll be screaming tonight.

No, that one would work.

 

[Wand3rlust]

No listen, just one song, I really like you. No it isn't Ed Sheeran....

*carries on removing guitar from case*

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

I couldn’t help noticing but you look a lot like my next girlfriend…

 

[Photog1rl]

You'd better call life alert because i’ve fallen and I can't get up.

 

[SmokingFap]

What's your name? I need to know what I'll be screaming tonight.

Most of the ladies call me God.

 

[dawn_of_night]

Gosh aheh...I hope they have sugar free stuff in there

Sugar free? Uhm. Yea.... I'm sure there is no sugar in the van....
That's right, none at all.

 

[kymusicguy]

you gottta pretty lil mouth

 

[Wand3rlust]

I couldn’t help noticing but you look a lot like my next girlfriend…

I couldn't help noticing but you look a lot like my last boyf.... I meant next.... dammit.... last time I take dating tips from @ShowMeYourSmile

 

[UnquietDreams]

I have a sexy ukulele song to play for you...

 

[Photog1rl]

No, that one would work.

good to know.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Do you believe in love at first choke?

 

[Polranny]

I have a sexy ukulele song to play for you...

I'll play it, no strings attached

 

[SmokingFap]

How many licks does it take to get to the center of you?

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Let me show you my Pokémon card collection.

 

[Wand3rlust]

*sits down at the piano in the bar, smiles at you, flexes fingers'

You bum it, I'll lay it...

What?! No, babe, come back - I'm funny, it's funny...

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

If you were a triangle you’d be acute one…