Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[crazychemgirl]

Did you know when you snap your fingers the sound comes from your thumb hitting your fleshy thumb pad and not the friction between your thumb and middle finger?
*all while snapping fingers over and over

 

[Shenanigans90]

Most women think it’s slutty to give strangers a blowjob…so I sent you a friend request.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Baby, you make me like a maple tree in November.

Sappy with no chance to leaf you alone.
Because no leaves because they all fell off.

Like your clothes are about to cuz my flirting is so deciduous.

What? Of course I know what deciduous means. It means you’re deciding on us!

 

[orangecurious]

So... you know, coffee. the bean isn't actually a bean, it is the pit inside the fruit and that is called the coffee cherry and...

Oh, you like tea... well, you know the leaves....

 

[TheMrBurns]

Aye Lass, those are some bonny shanks, do they go all the way up? 'Cause mine dinnae!
*The Scotsman who stepped unbidden from the moonlit fog lifts his kilt. Where his pelvis should be is only darkness. A void of unfathomable depths. Your mind screams at you to look away but some unseen force will not allow it. Your gaze is pulled towards the eldrich depths as the screams of a billion tormented souls writhe in your mind like a mass of festering maggots gorging themselves on your sanity, your very soul.*
So, fancy a shag then?

 

[TomTeacher19]

I got 99 problems but dating you ain't one of them.

Okay, not "problems" but ex's

Okay, not technically "ex's" but girls I asked out and said no.

Yes, and filed restraining orders against me.

But you ain't one of them!!!

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I got 99 problems but dating you ain't one of them.

Okay, not "problems" but ex's

Okay, not technically "ex's" but girls I asked out and said no.

Yes, and filed restraining orders against me.

But you ain't one of them!!!

So…how ‘bout them Dodgers?

 

[AlwaysDancing]

So…how ‘bout them Dodgers?

((derisive snort))
Dodger’s Fan? Well as I’ve said. Nobody’s Perfect

((Adjusts Red Sox hat))

 

[Kittycity]

Hey wanna come back to mine and watch porn on my 55 inch mirror?

 

[orangecurious]

I have red socks on, look! oh yeah, that ankle bracelet is due off in eleven months.

 

[TomTeacher19]

Just like my Padres, I can assure you that you will finish first and I will be underwhelming and disappointing, but that won't stop me!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Can I floss with your pubic hair?

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Can I floss with your pubic hair?

Sure. I guess. But I manscaped for this date.
Ask me in a couple months?

 

[Booboobear84]

((derisive snort))
Dodger’s Fan? Well as I’ve said. Nobody’s Perfect

((Adjusts Red Sox hat))

They were smart enough to get out of New York, and remember third oldest stadium in the majors (but it ain't as wicked cool as Fenway).

 

[TheMrBurns]

Can I floss with your pubic hair?

Sure, as long as you don't mind the lice! *scratches crotch seductively*
*wink*

 

[Shenanigans90]

Do you taste as good as you look?

 

[barefootgirl69]

So... you know, coffee. the bean isn't actually a bean, it is the pit inside the fruit and that is called the coffee cherry and...

Oh, you like tea... well, you know the leaves....

*swoons*

 

[Booboobear84]

Hey wanna come back to mine and watch porn on my 55 inch mirror?

You need to work on your incompetence, that kind of sounds fun;-)

 

[Otis_Ravelli]

I love a woman in a nurses uniform, it means she can tell me if these are genital warts or not.

 

[lavendersilk]

Do you taste as good as you look?

*wipes manure off of hands* Even better

 

[St0n3_m3]

Many people have cheesy chat-up lines and terrible opening conversational gambits when they want to flirt. Here is a place to get that all out of your system.

Flirt with the Lister above you in such an incompetent, ham-fisted, way that you'd never be given the time of day.

Hi, I’m a snake oil salesman

Do you taste as good as you look?

Nope, but I’m a snake oil salesman who’s run out of snake oil. I have a little caster oil. You can taste that if you like.

 

[TheMrBurns]

Do you taste as good as you look?

*Creepy Hanibal Lechteresque mouth sucking sound thing*

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

*Creepy Hanibal Lechteresque mouth sucking sound thing*

You’re all out of lotion…

 

[lavendersilk]

I just got a new toy in the mail, wanna come home with me and help me put it together? No, it doesn't vibrate. Why would a toy model airplane vibrate?

 

[AlwaysDancing]

You’re all out of lotion…

Then put the empty bottle in the basket and I’ll go get a new one. Something that smells less like dirt. Oh oh. Coffee (did you know it’s not a bean …)