Pmann’s Reasons Why Women Won’t Talk To Me (You) Thread

[Dribble]

Sometimes this needs to be said more often. While women are more vocal about the shit men do (or don't do) It does go both ways. Women can be shitty too. I know I have been plenty of times. Sometimes it takes me a little bit to recognize it. But I admit I am not as shitty to anyone when I keep to myself more. Sadly, I am easily influenced by female friends and when they go on a rampage. I jump in. *sad* Now that I've pushed almost everyone away. I'm less lippy and vocal.

Hugs to you Sassy. I am so envious. Kraken tics. Hockey is great. But the NHL speed is mind boggling. There is not a faster game out there.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Hugs to you Sassy. I am so envious. Kraken tics. Hockey is great. But the NHL speed is mind boggling. There is not a faster game out there.

I know. It is crazy hard to see the puck sometimes lol I'm a picture whore. I always take lots of pictures.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I will give my view here

Do you know how many women say " I am not looking for that...I just am looking for friends?" Then two weeks later there they are heartbroken complaining about a guy? Obviously...they were looking for that and really weren't interested in friendship. Let me tell you...it happens A LOT. We just don't talk about it because what she was really saying "I am not interested in you that way and I am too busy to build a friendship with you".

Look, I am not complaining about it at all cause my days of playing that way are over. Everyone is here for their own reason and that reason is totally acceptable. But in threads like this, there is a false perception that women don't play games here. They do. Just like many men do. That is what I read in his statement...but I could be wrong

ok, I took it the opposite direction. I also think we all play games, social constructs and interactions are games. I was saying in another thread that I am saying "I want to play a game" more than the Saw series, just less creepy. I am here to play.

I think the idea is that once women get slammed with PM's and then guys start losing their mind over her not responding quick enough. She gets irritated and stops posting in the personals. I've made that mistake a couple times. posted in there and then just got slammed. Guys get irritated because you aren't responding fast enough and start pouting. I had a method to whom I answered first. Conversation. Humor. Something to reply to. Something original. If it was those cut and paste messages. Nope. If it was sexual. Nope. Then I'd forget who I replied to and who I didn't. Get overwhelmed and say "Fuck it." Then bam. Guys angry posting again. So, yes. It made me not want to post again. I used to love looking for conversation. But like @may_I_please said. Many conversations would start okay then quickly switch to sexual.
Do you know how often guys have said "I can behave. No worries, we'll just talk" then a little while later something stupid came along. "So, what kind of panties are you wearing?"

ok, So, that they are just kicking their game with other people, differently, and not them? Well damn, if not, we'd be busier than we are. The gender divide is seriously skewed, we can only handle so many.

 

[Dribble]

I know. It is crazy hard to see the puck sometimes lol I'm a picture whore. I always take lots of pictures.

You will learn. Having played the game at a competitive level, I see advantages taking place before they happen. It isn't a special skill...just one you gain from experience hint: focus on powerplays for pics...easier to see the play developing

 

[Dribble]

ok, I took it the opposite direction. I also think we all play games, social constructs and interactions are games. I was saying in another thread that I am saying "I want to play a game" more than the Saw series, just less creepy. I am here to play.


ok, So, that they are just kicking their game with other people, differently, and not them? Well damn, if not, we'd be busier than we are. The gender divide is seriously skewed, we can only handle so many.

Could be...

I can only share my experience. There was a time when it seemed easy to friend someone and you would get pics unsolicited. I can only speak for myself...nothing hurts more than finding out that pic was taken for someone else...but shared with you.

And I agree...because of the gender number differences...it favors hearing what we do hear about.

There are/were really good people here. The kind that you can trust. People just need to be honest about their needs or wants. Otherwise...people get hurt

 

[SassySheDevil]

You will learn. Having played the game at a competitive level, I see advantages taking place before they happen. It isn't a special skill...just one you gain from experience hint: focus on powerplays for pics...easier to see the play developing

I am actually truly loving learning the sport. @ydahecnot has been my biggest help. Half the time he is watching the game with me and helping me understand the plays. It is a great feeling to know what everything is. It is the one sport my husband actually asks me about the plays. Every other sport I have to ask him "what was that? What is that play? What did they do? Why is that a penalty!!??"

 

[Bbl87]

I think what it comes down to is alot could be solved by honesty. About who you are, what you're looking for, what your situation is, just in general. Thats not to say you need to bare your whole life, though in private I'm pretty open about everything except identifying information.

And I'm pretty open about what I'm here for. Getting to know some fun people, having some fun in the forums, and maybe having some fun conversations. Hell, I had a whole PM exchange about theology the other day with someone when they found out I graduated from a seminary. Not exactly typical Lit conversation but it was fun.

But I'm not looking for an exclusive Lit-lationship, and I'm 100% open about that if things start to move into that realm. I've yet to have someone get upset about that, because pretty much everyone I've had fun with is in the same boat but it helps avoid hurt feelings.

 

[SassySheDevil]

^^^ yes. This. Honesty is very important.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I think what it comes down to is alot could be solved by honesty. About who you are, what you're looking for, what your situation is, just in general. Thats not to say you need to bare your whole life, though in private I'm pretty open about everything except identifying information.

And I'm pretty open about what I'm here for. Getting to know some fun people, having some fun in the forums, and maybe having some fun conversations. Hell, I had a whole PM exchange about theology the other day with someone when they found out I graduated from a seminary. Not exactly typical Lit conversation but it was fun.

But I'm not looking for an exclusive Lit-lationship, and I'm 100% open about that if things start to move into that realm. I've yet to have someone get upset about that, because pretty much everyone I've had fun with is in the same boat but it helps avoid hurt feelings.

I need two reaction buttons. love, Yes, I do think honesty is important. I hear from people who have had fallings outs over the ebb and flow of lit closeness, I have not, and I have some major ebbs and flows. I think because I am upfront, overly so (I may scare some of the men folk with my bluntness)

I also need to laugh at graduated from seminary and theology discussion. That is just so not the Lit I know.

 

[Bbl87]

I also need to laugh at graduated from seminary and theology discussion. That is just so not the Lit I know.

You're telling me! It was in deep stuff too, beyond surface level stuff that your random churchgoer would know. Definitely not something I expected but it was fun and interesting, haha.

And ya, the ebb and flow is definitely a thing. And honesty solves alot of that.

And one thing I didn't add... I think a significant number of guys here don't realize that fawning over a woman's posts, worshiping the e-ground that she e-walks on, and just generally just being a fanboy/groupie doesn't necessarily make them attractive conversation fodder. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure some enjoy it and I'm sure being adored like that has its appeal. But, just from experience and some speculation, I think most women on here would prefer to talk to a guy who can hold a conversation that involves more than fawning.

And don't get me wrong, I like posts. I comment on pics occasionally. I flirt. But I'm not a groupie. And I have no desire to be.

 

[Strixaluco]

Hmm... The most common reasons I have chosen not to talk to a guy - in Lit or 2 other erotic forums:

They assume that posting pretty much whatever, without putting in any effort, is going to get me. Worst cases are one word - "Hi", "Tits" etc. Some write more but forget to check my profile - for example my Fet profile tells pretty much about my likes and hard limits, and trying to offer something off-limits reveals they haven't even glanced it. Or offering fwb when I search for a monogamous lifetime partner, or being on the wrong continent.

Assuming they can actually demand something from me, without waiting if I consent. Like sexual stuff too fast or at all. Even trying to dominate me without any prior consent.

Now those who are just not compatible, or just have bad timing as I am taken and oblivious to other men, but write and act nicely, I will of course respond to, and might even discuss long with.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

ok, I just have to ask, not in any way remotely upset. I am seriously just really nosey and trying to understand, and struggling at "talk the talk". I am stuck there, given real life meetups are rather rare. so isn't everything just talk. Thus what do you mean, many women like to talk the talk, but what? Don't talk the talk? Where does the talk line change to talk? Is this like the e-boning line (wherever the hell that line is)? or is there something between talk and talk? Is the line somewhere around like the virtual blow job, boxed lunch, finger fuck, hand job, fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus exceptions?

It seems many women here who say they are looking for on line fun, sexy chat etc. never seem to follow through. I'm assuming its because of them being swamped with PM s. The same women who complain and make threads like why do men ghost actually have ghosted guys. Guys will make a thread (probably someone new to Lit) looking for female is constantly shamefully bumping his thread up. You would think women on this site tired of the same guys would jump on that.
Women here seem to pay more attention to how many likes they get, When in reality all they have to do is say anything like I lke the smell of my own crap and us guys will put up hearts over eyes likes. As a women on this site have you ever pM someone who posted something YOU liked ? To me for women who want this and crave that. Wouldn't that be an opportunity to reach out to someone that maybe you have something in common with ? I don't know I think it;s really easy for a woman on this site to choose a play mate,

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I can only speak for myself...nothing hurts more than finding out that pic was taken for someone else...but shared with you.

I find this perspective fascinating.
What is it about this that hurts? The feeling of being "second"?

I don't share pics often these days and anything that goes out has probably been shared with someone else. The way I see it, I'm inviting people in to see parts of me and my identity that I feel like sharing. I guess I take pics for me and share them with people I like

 

[aussiegeekygal]

It seems many women here who say they are looking for on line fun, sexy chat etc. never seem to follow through. I'm assuming its because of them being swamped with PM s. The same women who complain and make threads like why do men ghost actually have ghosted guys. Guys will make a thread (probably someone new to Lit) looking for female is constantly shamefully bumping his thread up. You would think women on this site tired of the same guys would jump on that.
Women here seem to pay more attention to how many likes they get, When in reality all they have to do is say anything like I lke the smell of my own crap and us guys will put up hearts over eyes likes. As a women on this site have you ever pM someone who posted something YOU liked ? To me for women who want this and crave that. Wouldn't that be an opportunity to reach out to someone that maybe you have something in common with ? I don't know I think it;s really easy for a woman on this site to choose a play mate,

There's got to be chemistry.

My old profile pic got lost in the update

 

[Bbl87]

It seems many women here who say they are looking for on line fun, sexy chat etc. never seem to follow through. I'm assuming its because of them being swamped with PM s. The same women who complain and make threads like why do men ghost actually have ghosted guys. Guys will make a thread (probably someone new to Lit) looking for female is constantly shamefully bumping his thread up. You would think women on this site tired of the same guys would jump on that.
Women here seem to pay more attention to how many likes they get, When in reality all they have to do is say anything like I lke the smell of my own crap and us guys will put up hearts over eyes likes. As a women on this site have you ever pM someone who posted something YOU liked ? To me for women who want this and crave that. Wouldn't that be an opportunity to reach out to someone that maybe you have something in common with ? I don't know I think it;s really easy for a woman on this site to choose a play mate,

By the by, I think personal threads as a guy is pretty pointless. Just based on dynamics on here. You're much better off just posting in the forums, getting to know people, and going from there. Doesn't make it wrong, just the nature of the beast.

And some women care alot about likes I'm sure, but there are plenty that don't so I wouldn't paint with too wide a brush. Honestly, some of the women I've talked quite a bit with rarely post at all.

And, since you mentioned it, I have had women PM me because I posted something they liked. I'm sure it doesn't happen as often as it does for women, but it's not like it never happens.

 

[SassySheDevil]

There's got to be chemistry.

My old profile pic got lost in the update

This is huge. Even if a woman is looking for playtime fun. Doesn't mean it is going to be with "you"
She has to have that chemistry and feel comfortable being vulnerable.

If she says she is looking for fun but doesn't play with "you" it is probably more about not connecting with you vs not following through.

If I PM someone. It is simply for that reason mentioned. I found something they said something I could relate to. Something that made me want to reach out to them.

 

[SassySheDevil]

By the by, I think personal threads as a guy is pretty pointless. Just based on dynamics on here. You're much better off just posting in the forums, getting to know people, and going from there. Doesn't make it wrong, just the nature of the beast.

I don't think all of them are. Those that engage and give good details about what they are looking for can be beneficial.
If you make a personal and just say "Hey, looking for chicks" and then bump it 40 times. No. It'll tank.
Instead of bumping your thread twice a day. Ask questions. Engage etc. So few do this though.

But I do agree that I think interacting in the threads is much more beneficial. You get a feel for what kind of person they are. You can see if you think you will connect.

 

[Bbl87]

If I PM someone. It is simply for that reason mentioned. I found something they said something I could relate to. Something that made me want to reach out to them.

And honestly, to turn it around from the bitch fest about woken that was going on... As a guy you have a much better chance if you mostly limit your PMs to this as opposed to sending PMs to anyone you think might have a vagina. Which, let's be honest, is a pretty common thing.

I don't think all of them are. Those that engage and give good details about what they are looking for can be beneficial.
If you make a personal and just say "Hey, looking for chicks" and then bump it 40 times. No. It'll tank.
Instead of bumping your thread twice a day. Ask questions. Engage etc. So few do this though.

But I do agree that I think interacting in the threads is much more beneficial. You get a feel for what kind of person they are. You can see if you think you will connect.

I guess pointless might have been a tad strong of a word. But I think we agree on the general sentiment.

 

[SassySheDevil]

And honestly, to turn it around from the bitch fest about woken that was going on... As a guy you have a much better chance if you mostly limit your PMs to this as opposed to sending PMs to anyone you think might have a vagina. Which, let's be honest, is a pretty common thing.

Also, the same for public displays. Those guys who run around complimenting anything that breathes are the ones most women avoid. However, if you limit it to a few. That isn't a turn off. We all have many different likes, so showing that publicly isn't wrong.

I want to throw @AmberLGreen under the bus because I her. She is publicly flirty and silly with everyone but doesn't come off as a creepy stalker. There are ways to be flirty and fun with anyone and everyone without looking like a desperate creep.

 

[SassySheDevil]

and this is why I almost always love @Lord Pmann and his threads. They almost always turn into discussions of some sort.

 

[Bbl87]

Also, the same for public displays. Those guys who run around complimenting anything that breathes are the ones most women avoid. However, if you limit it to a few. That isn't a turn off. We all have many different likes, so showing that publicly isn't wrong.

I want to throw @AmberLGreen under the bus because I her. She is publicly flirty and silly with everyone but doesn't come off as a creepy stalker. There are ways to be flirty and fun with anyone and everyone without looking like a desperate creep.

True. And I think there's a definite difference between gratuitous complimenting and flirting. I like to think I err to the latter. I'll admit when it comes to flirting, I'm kinda a manwhore.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

It seems many women here who say they are looking for on line fun, sexy chat etc. never seem to follow through. I'm assuming its because of them being swamped with PM s. The same women who complain and make threads like why do men ghost actually have ghosted guys. Guys will make a thread (probably someone new to Lit) looking for female is constantly shamefully bumping his thread up. You would think women on this site tired of the same guys would jump on that.
Women here seem to pay more attention to how many likes they get, When in reality all they have to do is say anything like I lke the smell of my own crap and us guys will put up hearts over eyes likes. As a women on this site have you ever pM someone who posted something YOU liked ? To me for women who want this and crave that. Wouldn't that be an opportunity to reach out to someone that maybe you have something in common with ? I don't know I think it;s really easy for a woman on this site to choose a play mate,

Well I can't speak for lit women, I can just speak for me, and this is my take.

If you are looking at women saying that in the personals, I just assume most are men, so nothing will go far. The few who aren't, probably do pick someone(s) else, so they are talking, just not with you, or you yet. Ebb and flow. I don't post in personals, but I don't hide that I enjoy chat from time to time and no it is not a flirting for likes, just fact. I am enjoying my time with someone else, and again ebb and flow. I never understood the ghosting thing, people have lives, it is no longer working, but I get it matters to some, so my solution was to put it upfront the ghosting is all good. As for picking up men in the personals, oh no no no, I already stated personals is a reason I won't talk to someone. It is either someone only looking for me to get them off, or someone who is going to cling tighter than Chinese lingerie.

Now, can we get smoke blown up our ass for anything, damn straight. Of course, the men I end up talking to aren't the ones blowing a ton smoke up my ass. They are the ones who make me laugh and I have fun with. Reactions do matter in videos I post, as an exhibitionist without voyeurs, well I could flash a tree. Knowing people are looking is the key to sexual excitement. I pm men. I have no idea what the ratio is, but I'd suspect a number of friendships were started by me. And correct, it isn't that hard, I've been friend zoned, but I've had them work too. ebb and flow. of course, you never said all women, and I never said I represent womenkind, just me. Overall, my advice, get out of the personals.

 

[SassySheDevil]

True. And I think there's a definite difference between gratuitous complimenting and flirting. I like to think I err to the latter. I'll admit when it comes to flirting, I'm kinda a manwhore.

Other than these thread exchanges. I've never talked to you in private. So yes. You've never (to me) come off as a creep. I honestly can't comment on your manwhore-ness. But from what I've seen publicly. I think you are safe

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I find this perspective fascinating.
What is it about this that hurts? The feeling of being "second"?

I don't share pics often these days and anything that goes out has probably been shared with someone else. The way I see it, I'm inviting people in to see parts of me and my identity that I feel like sharing. I guess I take pics for me and share them with people I like

I did too, but I suspect it is an honesty and transparency thing. I don't think it applies the same way across different women. I think those of us that take pictures for ourselves and share as we wish tend to be transparent about that.

 

[Bbl87]

I honestly can't comment on your manwhore-ness. But from what I've seen publicly. I think you are safe

Gentleman in the thread, manwhore in the e-bed?