Submissive 'Thought For The Day' Calendar 2006

[catalina_francisco]

February 21st - words of BeachGurl2

"Interesting thought occured to me after my weekend adventure at the local dungeon. I realized that I had not only tried a few things at the dungeon with my Dom that I had thought were on my hard limit list, but that I really, REALLY liked them. So that got me to thinking about a previous relationship that was too intense for me, but not nearly as intense as this one is.

In the relationship that was too intense for me, while I trusted him, I wasn't what I would consider completely emotionally involved and only trusted him to a certain degree. We weren't well matched ethically or morally, so I often wondered what things he would demand of me that I couldn't or wouldn't be willing to do.

My level of trust in this relationship is significantly higher - in fact, I trust Him completely without any hesitation at all. And my level of emotional involvement is significantly higher, so my desire to please is equally high. We're both discovering that our limits weren't as strict as we thought, but this has only developed in the last couple of weeks since I've been staying with him 24/7 (another story for another time).

So my question/comment is this: Is my ability/desire to not only meet this higher level of intensity, but also enjoy it completely a matter of the emotional involvement or the trust level? Obviously, that's a rhetorical question, as no one but me can truly answer it. But I'm wondering if the emotional/trust level truly has this much to do with my ability to push beyond limits I thought I had to be more open to these new things. And if so, is this the kind of thing that Cat and others in long term 24/7 relationships who say they have no limits at all are talking about? That level of love and trust that develops to the point where you know that you will be safe no matter what so there is no place that you won't go with him?

Goddess, I think too much! "


Partner too extreme, or too mild?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 22nd - words of fae_bella

"I guess all I needed to do was take my hubby on a trip to the naughty store- because his dominant side came back and back with a VENGEANCE on saturday night!!!

As soon as we walked in, he took on his other side, making me buy some bondage silk rope, a new toy, and a few magazines and books. I was never so happy to spend so much money- especially when we got home! We played with that rope and new toy for 2 hours!!

I had had a talk with him about everything Saturday morning. I explained to him I really had no issues with him taking on a more aggressive side in bed (or wherever) and if something truly does frighten or hurt me, I would definitely let him know. He was a bit unsure of it, so I told him we'd start using a safety word (Something I learned on here was a bad idea for us NOT to be using) and he seemed way more willing after we decided on one. I guess all he needed was a chance to talk and make sure that everything was truly ok with what he was doing or planned to do. Now he's VERY much aware its totally fine!! "

how to get a shy guy to be a top/Dom

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 23rd - words of Bandit58

'He's been teasing me a lot lately.....I've found myself saying "I'm gonna slap you!" Ooops He gets that look in His eye - "Who's gonna slap who?" '

Things a sub should NEVER say to her Dom

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 24th - words of Furry Fury

"I've never heard of this before. It's very interesting. It did cause certain things to quicken within me.

It looks like I'm far too old to qualify for being a Dolcett Girl. Ah well, from what I can tell this is just an online dream so far.

I will say some of the stories are interesting at that site.

Thanks for showing me something new to me!"

Dolcett Girls

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 25th - words of rebecca

"Hmmn I think I would start out with looking out who and or what is certifying the certified "Slave Contractor". I think its possible the 'journey' ends there unless of course I am being more naive than usual.

Issues of 'law' come to mind, I know slavery is against the law in the USA as in most countries. As 'business' proposition the notion of trade in 'slaves' escalates further than I imagine a contract between two individuals acting in a SSC manner.

The lack of detail is concerning. I would also like to see out of interest the 'contract' myself to compare with the type I am more accustomed to veiwing.

Was this really in a reputable BDSM newspaper ? Is it possible that its a translation from foreign language where the word slave has been used incorrectly ?

As far as the financing , wage is concerned one would expect the certified "Slave Contractor" would be getting some sort of financial gain from the transaction and US $40,000 is not a great deal of money considering whats at 'risk' if this isn't a hoax . A decent Au Pair referenced should be able to earn that.

A very very interesting Thread I look forward to seeing where it goes to from here.

Footnote : "Wages Paid: $40,000 American, paid at end of contract period. in good business practice totally unacceptable . If EVERYTHING else was acceptable that money had better be in gold bullion and in bond with a BIG Firm, who I imagine wouldn't knowingly touch this with a ten foot pole"

Help Wanted

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 26th - words of Etoile

"The Smoking Gun has a copy of Travis Frey's "Wifely Expectations" document. (He is currently facing charges that he tried to kidnap his wife.)

The Smoking Gun refers to the contract as "repulsive," "sicko," and "bizarre." I read through it, and you know what? It sounded like a perfectly normal Master/slave contract to me. Some rules are a little over the top (measuring pubic hair in an equilateral triangle) but others are quite the norm in M/s relationships.

Personally, I am kind of offended by the degree to which TSG slams this document. Sure, vanilla people find kinky people a bit weird and freaky, but repulsive and sick? That's just a bit much.

What do you think of the document and TSG's reaction to it?"

Travis Frey's Wifely Expectations

 

[graceanne]

February 27th - words of bridgeburner

I don't know how else you're going to safely learn how to use a bullwhip on someone than to be taught how to do so. However, there are seminars and clubs and classes and friends willing to show you stuff and I wouldn't say that any of that amounts to formal training which implies a pre-planned course of study with specific mile-posts if not an actual terminal point.

I'm not the kind of person to ever turn down an opportunity to expand my knowledge base because knowledge is power, of course, and one day I'll rule the world and you'll all be sorry then BWAHAHAHAHAHA.....ahem, er....so I'm in favor of training if you can get it and if it works for you, but you can't always get it and sometimes what's available doesn't work for you. Let's not forget the puke-inducing hypnosis seminar I went to last year.

Must you have formal training? I'd be an idiot to say so since clearly there are good and competent Dominants who haven't and terrible ones who have. I do lean toward the belief that Dominants should undergo more rigorous extra-relationship training than submissives because they hold the whip. Yes, everyone has responsibility for their own safety in this game, but when your partner is tied up and armed with a safe word and you're the one holding the instrument of doom the split second between split skin and that safe word belongs to you. Anyone can have an accident, but the better your skill and training, the fewer accidents you have.

Formal Dom Training

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

.::Thank You Catalina for Including my post here::.
@}-}rebecca----​

 

[alice_underneath]

February 28th - words of im_a_voyeur

"To answer your question, yes, there have been times that I have said no initially and then after a discussion, I would change my mind or we would come to a compromise. I know that Marquis gets frustrated sometimes by this because he would like me to do as I'm told and not ask any questions. This doesn't happen a lot but it usually happens when we are at fetish parties for some reason. I get really nervous at those things. I feel like everyone's eyes are on us and it makes me feel very self-conscious.

For the most part, I'm pretty obedient. At times, I'll jokingly say no knowing damn well I am going to do what I was told but I do it just to be fresh to get a rise out of him.

I think there is a thread somewhere about the safewording issue. I'm not really a masochist so there are times when I will have to safeword when the pain becomes too intense for me. I'm trying to work on my pain tolerance but it seems that it's usually higher when I'm angry. I don't like safewording but sometimes it gets to the point where I feel like I am going to go insane if I let it continue. I feel pretty guilty afterwards because I know I've dissapointed him but he has let me know that as long as he sees me putting in a good effort then he is okay. I'm sure he says this to try to put my mind at ease because I know this frustrates him greatly. I guess we both have areas that requires the other person to exercise a lot of patience."

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=412372&page=1&pp=25

 

[catalina_francisco]

March 1st - words of Arden

"...What I see today, when revisiting the original checklist is that my limits were based on fear. Fear of the unknown in most cases. I’ve grown to trust Him to the point where I now welcome exploration of those very things that once scared me."

The Limits We Thought We Had...Forever?!!

 

[catalina_francisco]

March 2nd - words of Master's_aphrodite

"The spectrum that was left for the vivid imagination is the way that Master prefers to be cleaned. i have found it interesting that a lot of times people do not consider anal penetration as scat play, but it can very much be so. Enema's are another that Master enjoys. Many times He will administer the enema and once removing it replace it with His cock. Knowing that once He removes it i will need to sit on the toilet...not just once but many times. He does not stop there, but follows me to the bathroom and as soon as i am on the toilet His cock goes into my mouth for cleaning. Standing there as i expel, and there is no privacy ever.

Some other ways that Master uses scat domination are, or could be.....Master has a 'throne' that He uses from time to time. In which i lie in it and He expels on my face. At times He controls my bathroom usage, making me hold it or making me phone Him (even from the stall at work) to listen..once again no privacy. At times, when home, He will forbid me to use the toilet and i must use a bucket. i have had to hold it to the point that i have an accident."

Scat domination

 

[catalina_francisco]

March 3rd - words of shy slave

"Regarding your point about people who think you just have to say 'hey presto' and it all works between a PYL & pyl.
I have been married twice, had a more than few relationships but have only just come to realise that respect plays a HUGE part of being able to make a relationship work.

I speak to both my ex husbands, I even like one of them but I don't respect them as people.

Respect is different to trust. I have let people inflict pain on me who I trusted at the time, I lost respect for them later over different things but for a long time I thought the two words so similiar it was barely worth arguing the semantics.
My thinking has changed, pain is not easier to take from Andante because I trust him, or because I have strong feelings for him, or because I want to please him; all of those things have been in place with other people at the time of the scene.

The pain is easier because I took KC's advice, because I allow the endorphins to flood my body and make me mad/angry, because I am able to say I don't want aftercare and explain why I don't want it, because I read other peoples advice/views and studied my own reactions and fears about it

And ultimately because I respect him.
I respect him both as a man and a Dom. He is not always 'Domly' I am not always submissive but I respect his views, his thoughts and his understanding of where he wants this relationship to go.

Yes, The pain still hurts but its different to how it was.
Respect, small word but it works for me."

Taking The Pain

 

[graceanne]

March 4th - words of catalina_francisco

No Dominant is perfect, despite what a lot of them will try and tell you. The best relationships IMHO are the ones where both can accept the imperfections and unDomly or unsubly aspects of each others character, along with those relevent ones they seek to develop in their role. Gives it a much more realistic feel, and opens exploration further because there are no expectations that everything will always be perfect, always go according to plan. Ironing out the problems then becomes a joint efffort instead of one expecting the other to provide all the necessary ingredients. Have fun.


Can familiarity/intimacy serve as a challenge for developing Doms?

 

[fieryjen]

So I vanity searched and noticed a quote of mine is included on this thread. I also noticed that it hasn't been updated in a while. I got fascinated, read through all four pages and decided that this should have a bump or four.

I don't know why I never noticed this thread until now. I loved what I read, and I'm sad that this thread has already sunk a few pages deep, because most of these quotes give such valuable insights, and I enjoy those little windows into the thoughts of many fellow submissives - to learn from, to be encouraged by and to get me thinking. I'd love if it could be continued, even though there is a little bit of a gap right now.

I'd also like to thank Catalina for including a quote of mine.

 

[jadefirefly]

I was just thinking yesterday, I think, that if nobody'd updated this thread I was gonna go on a search and update. If I couldn't go back to fill in the empty dates, I was at least gonna start updating the new days.

Let's update!

 

[fieryjen]

I was just thinking yesterday, I think, that if nobody'd updated this thread I was gonna go on a search and update. If I couldn't go back to fill in the empty dates, I was at least gonna start updating the new days.

Let's update!

I'll get right on searching

A question - do the quotes have to be from the day they are posted for?

 

[jadefirefly]

I'll get right on searching

A question - do the quotes have to be from the day they are posted for?

Yep. That makes it a bit harder, huh?

 

[fieryjen]

Yep. That makes it a bit harder, huh?

A bit

So do we try to catch up on dates? Or start anew?

 

[jadefirefly]

A bit

So do we try to catch up on dates? Or start anew?

A mixture of both. Catch up, but don't worry if we can't find something.

Like this little tidbit below...

 

[jadefirefly]

March 7, 2006 -- Words of babiesmiles

I have never hidden my " submissiveness" to anyone I cared to show it, even when I didn't know yet it was called this way nor all the consequential implications of the "term" .

And a special kind of glance both wild and shy at same time has always been the first, sometimes decisive, way to show my inner self .

In my past relationships ( vanilla ones) some men accepted and enjoyed it even in a complete mutual unawareness of its inner meaning , some didn't care at all, some were scared , but every man I have had a worthy relation with definitively knew about that, although unconcious, attitude of mine .

Now that I (finally) know something more about myself and my inclinations, besides the world of feelings and meanings which lie behind my state of mind, I am even more clear .

Now that I know better about it I could never renounce to be straight clear , and if the case to give some additional explanations about who I am and what I am looking for in a relationship.

Knowledge is strenght at last, and at the moment it is working pretty good

Communicating Submissiveness Anew

 

[fieryjen]

Hey That's exactly the one I just picked out for that date as well. Great post, that was.

--I hope I did that right, and it's a good enough quote.

 

[fieryjen]

March 10, 2006 -- Words of lettinggo

My very first experience with a Dom included a 10" hunting knife. To start the play he'd placed me in a field with my back turned. He came up behind me, and I gave a little sigh of pleasure when I felt his body pressed against my back and his face close to mine. But then I opened my eyes and saw the shine of the blade at my neck. For less than a split second I experienced exactly the terror he'd hoped for, then I realized the sharp edge of the knife was facing away from my neck. I stood trembling, with weak knees while he cut my clothes off.

Needless to say, we're both disappointed that he will never be able to evoke that emotion from me to that degree again.

Since then we've played with the knife a couple times but one of my limits was "no risidual marks" so any scratches left were very light. He did apply pressure, and he did draw it over my clit. Since I was confident he wouldn't cut me (strictly because of the 'no marks' limit), I learned to hold still and not fear it so much. I'd like to play some more now that marks are no longer an issue, but I haven't brought it up because part of me is terrified he'll actually use it.

Blade Play

 

[jadefirefly]

Hey That's exactly the one I just picked out for that date as well. Great post, that was.

That it was!

I'm finding though that I'm a bit too impatient to sift through for one for every date! We so shoulda kept up with it day by day.... *sigh*

 

[fieryjen]

We should just get on with the current ones, and maybe edit the old posts as appropriate when an older quote catches our eye.

I don't want to put a quote in here just because it fits for the date I am currently looking for, but because it strikes me as relevant. So maybe we shouldn't go strictly chronological, but fill in the gaps with time.

 

[jadefirefly]

We should just get on with the current ones, and maybe edit the old posts as appropriate when an older quote catches our eye.

I don't want to put a quote in here just because it fits for the date I am currently looking for, but because it strikes me as relevant. So maybe we shouldn't go strictly chronological, but fill in the gaps with time.

Sounds like an excellent plan!