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Submissive 'Thought For The Day' Calendar 2006

graceanne said:
March 4th - words of catalina_francisco

No Dominant is perfect, despite what a lot of them will try and tell you. The best relationships IMHO are the ones where both can accept the imperfections and unDomly or unsubly aspects of each others character, along with those relevent ones they seek to develop in their role. Gives it a much more realistic feel, and opens exploration further because there are no expectations that everything will always be perfect, always go according to plan. Ironing out the problems then becomes a joint efffort instead of one expecting the other to provide all the necessary ingredients. Have fun.


Can familiarity/intimacy serve as a challenge for developing Doms?
Click to expand...

Thanks Graceanne!! LOL, my first entry in the calendar this year!!

Catalina :rose:
 
fieryjen said:
I'll get right on searching :)

A question - do the quotes have to be from the day they are posted for?
Click to expand...

Nah, though personally I started trying to do that this year as in the past I have found I have had to keep scanning back to make sure I am not repeating something. Seemed easier to stick around the date and then it cut down on the checking and time involved. Thanks to you and jade for helping out..is always welcome. :)

Catalina :rose:
 
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March 5th - words of Quint

"There's a difference to me between different body types (I actually prefer a larger set) and a person who doesn't take care of their health and appearance. Hence the deliberately over-the-top "slobby" as opposed to a milder term. Not to mention it sounded funny: slobby dom! Slobby dom! See, I'm having more fun already."

The Kinky Curriculum
 
jadefirefly said:
March 7, 2006 -- Words of babiesmiles

I have never hidden my " submissiveness" to anyone I cared to show it, even when I didn't know yet it was called this way nor all the consequential implications of the "term" .

And a special kind of glance both wild and shy at same time has always been the first, sometimes decisive, way to show my inner self .

In my past relationships ( vanilla ones) some men accepted and enjoyed it even in a complete mutual unawareness of its inner meaning , some didn't care at all, some were scared , but every man I have had a worthy relation with definitively knew about that, although unconcious, attitude of mine .

Now that I (finally) know something more about myself and my inclinations, besides the world of feelings and meanings which lie behind my state of mind, I am even more clear .

Now that I know better about it I could never renounce to be straight clear , and if the case to give some additional explanations about who I am and what I am looking for in a relationship.

Knowledge is strenght at last, and at the moment it is working pretty good

Communicating Submissiveness Anew
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wow Thank you ! :rose:

My first entry in the calendar ! :)
 
March 9th - words of im_a_voyeur

"I had always known that I wanted to be in a relationship where I could completely dote on my man. I never really got to have that experience until I met Marquis.

I didn't have an understanding of the whole dominant/submissive dynamic until he explained it to me. At first I was in denial about being a submissive. I considered myself a strong woman who would never let a man control my life. He introduced me to lit, as well as some other sites, as a way to read and learn about what BDSM was about.

The way our relationship developed, things never seemed forced or contrived. The dominant/submissive dynamic flowed very naturally. From the very beginning of our relationship, we had been very open and honest about our feelings and what extracurricular activities we were up to. When we met, it was pretty much understood that we were just going to be casual sex partners. Over time, our feelings for each other began to get deeper and it got to a point where I didn't want to be bothered with other guys and that I only wanted to be with Marquis. I told him that I wanted to only be with him and be his. This was a few months after we met.

Our relationship continues to grow deeper and stronger as time goes on and I look forward to seeing where our relationship will take us."

10 Questions
 
March 11th - words of Kajira Callista

I just wanted to add something.
I don't practice my religion because i am a masochist. I do think about two things often though.
First my ability to devote myself to someone. It is easy for me. kneeling, head bowed, rituals etc. are all things i was taught at a very early age, it is what we do to show our devotion and respect to God and his church.
Second...and this is a biggie for me these days. Do i get some sort of submissive fulfillment from going to church. I think i do. It makes me stronger and basically a better person.
Is that the only reason?
Nope i go because it is my job as a mother to teach my children their religion and to take them to church and help them understand all that goes on and why. It is a place to be with other people who are doing the same thing with their children...and mostly it is a place where i can be just me with nothing to hide and loved anyway for an hour or two.
So it doesn't have much to do with masochism but it does have something to do with submission.

Religion
 
March 12th - words of A Desert Rose

Not up to doing more than this tonight, but thought this gutsy lady deserved a special post to remind us just how real this community can be, and how special some of those we meet here become.

"God love my surgeon. When I told him I had Sting tickets tonight, he said I could go home and go out with my kids... as long as I come back Monday night. LOL

If I gotta die, let me die having seen Sting... yaknow?"

So, Tuesday I'm having brain surgery...

:rose:
 
March 13th ~ words of Shy Slave

Many people I speak to say this is a hard limit for them, both PYL & pyl have that view.

I have never wanted someone to restrict my breath nor have their hand on my throat. However its never been a hard limit.
This was something I neglected to tell Andante prior to our first meeting, this was not a deliberate omission, I simply forgot.


There was a point during our first three days together when I was kneeling in front of him, I was very wet and fully focused on him, in particular his voice, his eyes and his lips.
I was looking directly up at him when he very slowly began to bring his hands up across my shoulders and moved them towards my neck.
It all seemed to happen in very slow motion, a part of my brain was processing what was about to happen, whilst another part was trying to gauge if I was afraid and if I was, what level of fear did I have.
I hardly knew this man yet his hands were getting closer to my neck with the obvious intention of encircling it.

I remained very still, my eyes remained fixed on his face, I took one small breath in as his fingers touched my neck and slowly closed.
The increase of pressure prevented my breath for the briefest of moments
Neither of us spoke, we remained locked into each others face as the palms of his hands touched my skin completing the circle.
At that moment I knew was not afraid. I felt very, very safe.
We remained like this for a brief space of time, perhaps a few minutes.
As he slowly released the pressure and steadily moved his hands away from my throat I remained kneeling, taking in one small breath again.

I can clearly recall the look on his face throughout the whole episode. It was one of care, interest and watchfulness.
It was not one of triumph, lust concern or fear. But a very measured look of a person considering a situation and yet knowing he had the power to change the whole dynamic at anytime.
Feeling the length of his fingers and the palms on his hands completely enclosing my throat with an increasing pressure made me feel free in my own mind.
It was not sub-space but as if I had come home to a place and person I could trust with every part of me, physically and psychologically.

Since then I have loved the feel of his hands preventing my breath for a moment in time.
It is a beautiful and loving gesture which, at times when we are apart, I crave.

Asphyxia: Absolute Control Thread
 
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catalina_francisco said:
March 12th - words of A Desert Rose

Not up to doing more than this tonight, but thought this gutsy lady deserved a special post to remind us just how real this community can be, and how special some of those we meet here become.

"God love my surgeon. When I told him I had Sting tickets tonight, he said I could go home and go out with my kids... as long as I come back Monday night. LOL

If I gotta die, let me die having seen Sting... yaknow?"

So, Tuesday I'm having brain surgery...

:rose:
Click to expand...

Wow. This is nice. I never look in this thread because I never make it here. LOL I'm just not philosophical enough or something. ;-)

So Catalina, thanks for this. :rose:
 
A Desert Rose said:
Wow. This is nice. I never look in this thread because I never make it here. LOL I'm just not philosophical enough or something. ;-)

So Catalina, thanks for this. :rose:
Click to expand...


LOL, now see you have been missing something because you were in the previous one, but then you went quiet until recently and as I am running behind, like some other people here who do the same, I had trouble finding posts by you. I know, I know, you like to save all that wisdom for infrequent bursts so we are all overwhelmed to see your posts, but then we miss you too much in between!! :D

Catalina :rose:
 
catalina_francisco said:
LOL, now see you have been missing something because you were in the previous one, but then you went quiet until recently and as I am running behind, like some other people here who do the same, I had trouble finding posts by you. I know, I know, you like to save all that wisdom for infrequent bursts so we are all overwhelmed to see your posts, but then we miss you too much in between!! :D

Catalina :rose:
Click to expand...

I have no wisdom.

But I do have some common sense. ;-) Oh wait... maybe that's the same thing? I do know, first hand, that one doesn't need to be a deep thinker to get along in life. LMAO
 
I'm not sure if the dates should follow up each other or be today's date. I decided to use today's date, feel free to edit it, Catalina. And someone should change Rebecca's post to say a date that has actually passed.

March, 14th
Words of His_pita

I have had a hard time understanding the term "vanilla sex" since getting into this lifestyle. I certainly understand boring or mundane sex and if that is what it is in reference too then I don't want that! However, if we are talking about sex that doesn't include some sort of "BDSM" such as bondage, beatings, ect. I just don't see that as boring. I happen to adore sex! I love it when he has me strapped to the bench and I'm attached to my magic wand while he is flogging the hell out of me. I also love it when the lights are out and he is on top of me while we make love in the most tender and intimate of ways. Sometimes we even do a mixture which I guess you could call a chocolate/vanilla swirl. :D

What is nilla sex?
 
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@}-}rebecca---- said:
March 13th ~ words of Shy Slave

Many people I speak to say this is a hard limit for them, both PYL & pyl have that view.

I have never wanted someone to restrict my breath nor have their hand on my throat. However its never been a hard limit.
This was something I neglected to tell Andante prior to our first meeting, this was not a deliberate omission, I simply forgot.


There was a point during our first three days together when I was kneeling in front of him, I was very wet and fully focused on him, in particular his voice, his eyes and his lips.
I was looking directly up at him when he very slowly began to bring his hands up across my shoulders and moved them towards my neck.
It all seemed to happen in very slow motion, a part of my brain was processing what was about to happen, whilst another part was trying to gauge if I was afraid and if I was, what level of fear did I have.
I hardly knew this man yet his hands were getting closer to my neck with the obvious intention of encircling it.

I remained very still, my eyes remained fixed on his face, I took one small breath in as his fingers touched my neck and slowly closed.
The increase of pressure prevented my breath for the briefest of moments
Neither of us spoke, we remained locked into each others face as the palms of his hands touched my skin completing the circle.
At that moment I knew was not afraid. I felt very, very safe.
We remained like this for a brief space of time, perhaps a few minutes.
As he slowly released the pressure and steadily moved his hands away from my throat I remained kneeling, taking in one small breath again.

I can clearly recall the look on his face throughout the whole episode. It was one of care, interest and watchfulness.
It was not one of triumph, lust concern or fear. But a very measured look of a person considering a situation and yet knowing he had the power to change the whole dynamic at anytime.
Feeling the length of his fingers and the palms on his hands completely enclosing my throat with an increasing pressure made me feel free in my own mind.
It was not sub-space but as if I had come home to a place and person I could trust with every part of me, physically and psychologically.

Since then I have loved the feel of his hands preventing my breath for a moment in time.
It is a beautiful and loving gesture which, at times when we are apart, I crave.

Asphyxia: Absolute Control Thread
Click to expand...

Makes me misty eyed!

Fury :rose:

chris9 said:
I'm not sure if the dates should follow up each other or be today's date. I decided to use today's date, feel free to edit it, Catalina. And someone should change Rebecca's post to say a date that has actually passed.

March, 14th
Words of His_pita

I have had a hard time understanding the term "vanilla sex" since getting into this lifestyle. I certainly understand boring or mundane sex and if that is what it is in reference too then I don't want that! However, if we are talking about sex that doesn't include some sort of "BDSM" such as bondage, beatings, ect. I just don't see that as boring. I happen to adore sex! I love it when he has me strapped to the bench and I'm attached to my magic wand while he is flogging the hell out of me. I also love it when the lights are out and he is on top of me while we make love in the most tender and intimate of ways. Sometimes we even do a mixture which I guess you could call a chocolate/vanilla swirl. :D

What is nilla sex?
Click to expand...


Beautiful!

Fury :rose:
 
March 15th - words of chris9

"Vanilla sex as I use the term and always understood it used here has nothing to do with 'boring', 'without passion' as it was described here. It's sex within a relationship of equals, without power exchange, a 'normal' relationship.

It can be kinky, trust me on that one I have a 'nilla partner, and we most certainly don't stick to missionary position, five minutes, done, sleep. We try out different things to please each other, use toys, different positions. Sometimes it involves BDSM play. Then I'm the bottom, he's the top. I'd still consider it as kinky vanilla sex, because it's not about him having the power and doing whatever he wants, because he takes the power only to please me.
Vanilla is just an easy way of saying non-D/s. It can involve some parts of BDSM, and if you read any sexual advice in books and stuff, many will suggest at least trying bondage to get some spice (back) into sex.

On the other hand I don't think I would consider sex in a D/s relationship 'vanilla' even if it doesn't involve any type of BDSM play. The D/s dynamics will still be there.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not the sex that's different, it's the relationship being without power exchange."

What is nilla sex?
 
Since bronn didn't put a date on seri's nomination:

March 16th - words of serijules

Ponyplay has something I have been fascinated with for a long time. As a child, I spent many hours playing a more innocent version of pony play, jumping bushes in my parents yard and setting up obstacle courses of gym equipment and pillows, whinnying and galloping, tossing my head and stomping my feet. As an adult, I recall that freedom of expression with fondness, and longed for a way to express that in a mature manner. The discovery of BDSM and in turn, ponyplay formed a fascination I unfortunately didn't think I would ever be able to embrace. The freedom of expression I had as a child turned into a shyness and admitted low self esteem, especially at the thought of being a ponygirl. So despite the desire, I didn't think it would ever be something I would participate in. The mere thought made my chest tighten in panic.

A conversation one evening with Dawnie during my recent visit with her turned to ponyplay. She shared with me that a pony was something she'd always wanted. Seeing the look of pleasure on her face, the affection in her voice as she spoke of her desire...all my worries and fears seemed to melt away in that moment. I wanted to be her ponygirl. I always look for ways to serve her and please her, and this seemed the perfect opportunity to show her how much I've grown under her care.

She mentioned one night while we were cuddling in bed that I needed a pony name. Not wanting to pry or seem too eager, I didn't say much, but my heart skipped a beat or two when she said that. I love all her pet names for me, they always make me smile inside and out, so I've become very fond of my various nicknames and pet names. I knew having a pony name would make it real, make me her pony instead of it just being an idea in our heads or a desire tucked away for another someday. I longed for that reality to come about.

When I got home, I started looking up pony play online, looking at tails and tack and pretty ponygirls all dolled up for their handlers. Nothing about it really connected with me the way I expected it to, when I explored this idea by myself. That feeling of pride, of desire to prance and nuzzle and toss my mane and show my Owner what a good pet I could be came from being HER pony, not a pony in general. Just as I never connected with the 'typical' definition and display of being a slave, I longed to be a pony of HER making, not of a BDSM making. So the websites and pictures and stories just were not doing much for me. It kind of gave me a warm fuzzy feeling though, knowing that the pet in me, the pony in me, belonged completely to Her and would come alive under her words and her care.

I'm still shy about the role, but not in a way that makes me feel panicked about being her pony and showing her what a good pet I can be. I think I'm just a shy pony by nature. I smile and nicker quietly in my head when she calls me her pony or talks of training me and taking care of me. Someday I know those nickers and whinnies will find the voice they don't have just yet, but I'm content it will come in time and with training. It bothered me a bit that I embraced this role easier than I did that of slave, but I realized after awhile that I was looking at it the wrong way. My embracing my role as her slave has taught me to be more accepting of my place and my abilities. It's taught me to find a pride in myself I had to struggle harder to find in the past. All that training did more good in me than I ever even realized, and that makes me very happy.

Lately I've been playing on a friends' embroidery machine, and asked my Owner permission to embroider a colourful pony outline onto a black hoody jacket I bought in PA. She granted me permission and I embroidered the proud pony on my jacket and just as proudly showed it off to her. It wasn't much, granted, but I felt like I had my first piece of pony tack...a coat to keep the pony warm. I asked permission to embroider my pony name on the front, despite not knowing what it was just yet, and she informed me I would know my name when I earned it. I waited patiently, putting the coat aside to finish when I could.

A few mornings ago I was talking with Dawnie, feeling happy and snuggly as we chatted. I feel a strong happiness when I am in pet/pony mode, I feel carefree and just...content. Cared for. Not that I'm not cared for in general, of course I am, but as Her pony that dynamic of our relationship stands out more. I told her a pony needs a tail, envisioning a long, flowing pretty tail for her to brush, for me to feel the soft hairs tickling my naked legs. I was rarely allowed clothes in any of my other roles, I wasn't under any impression I would be allowed clothes often as her pony either. Her next message was a simple word "cherish". I read it, bit my lip and grinned, not quite sure my interpretation of the message was accurate, but asked her anyhow; "a pony named cherish?". She smiled back at me. I got it.

I wasn't sure how I earned that, it didn't quite hit me right away what I had said or done to earn it. A little prodding while later and she enlightened me; my eagerness to embrace the role and be the pony by wanting a tail, without worry and stress and doubts. By embracing the role, this pony earned her name as the cherished jewel she was.

And embraced it I have. I long for a bit in my mouth, to feel her tugging at the reins and guiding me as she pleases. I long to feel the hairs of my tail swishing against my flesh, the soft scratchiness of a brush grooming me. To feel her hands on my skin, petting me....and her crop on my thighs, training me, correcting me when I get too ornery or too distracted. I long to see that smile in her eyes as she enjoys her new pet, cherishes her new pony.

A pony named cherish.



***************************************

Just thought I'd share that with you all...and wondering if anyone else has any pony experiences to share or knows of any good pony forums or websites? Im not much interested in photos, but real information and experiences.

A Pony With A Name
 
March 17th - words of shy slave

This is something that has been asked several times and personally I think its a valid question.

Its not about whether online or r/l is better/worse than the other, its about what is fantasy and what is reality.

Several times I have read things and thought 'thats rubbish' it never happened, other times I think the opposite.

My favourite piece of nonsense was the one where he claimed to save his cum in a zip lock bag and send it to his g/f.

But the 'net does not have a duty of care to people, we are not the SSC or RACK police.
People have to make their own minds up about what is what, just like in r/l.

Thats where I think some act in a clique like manner, through policing some things but accepting other views simply beacuse they are online friends.

Everyone sees things differently.

Personally I love discussion and disagreement (without bloodshed) as it helps me focus on the aspects I want to take on board and disregard the rest with some knowledge as to why it would not fit into my thinking.

Which do you prefer . . . why?
 
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