Submissive 'Thought for the Day' Calendar 2007
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graceanne
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April 28th - words of myinnerslut
after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.
Objectification/Humiliation
after some more thought, i realized the thing that humiliates me the most is admitting that i like being you used, that i want to be hurt untill i cry, that i crave being treated like someones toy, a pet, not quiet my own person. the most humiliating thing is to admit im not being forced and i am seeking this out. to have to ask for what i want explicitly, instead of hiding behind a disguise of innocence. to have nobody and no situation to blame my arousal on. that is the most humiliating of all.
Objectification/Humiliation
myinnerslut
His chains. His lash.
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wow, thanks gracie 
graceanne
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April 29th - words of CutieMouse
This question comes up from time to time, and I always wonder where the idea that M/s D/s relationships are supposed to fit into a rigid definition came from, because the concern seems pretty prevalant (across multiple message boards).
In a traditional relationship, you can be a wife/mother/friend/confidant/lover/etc, and no one worries about the blurring of the lines between each "role", but once a power dynamic is established, it seems like people start worrying about a slave/submissive/girlfriend/littlegirl/partner/lover/friend/confidant blurryness...
Undefinable D/s relationship.
This question comes up from time to time, and I always wonder where the idea that M/s D/s relationships are supposed to fit into a rigid definition came from, because the concern seems pretty prevalant (across multiple message boards).
In a traditional relationship, you can be a wife/mother/friend/confidant/lover/etc, and no one worries about the blurring of the lines between each "role", but once a power dynamic is established, it seems like people start worrying about a slave/submissive/girlfriend/littlegirl/partner/lover/friend/confidant blurryness...
Undefinable D/s relationship.
graceanne
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April 30th - words of FurryFury
I have said that in slightly different words to people and about people so many times.
All this crap about deep down they are nice, sweet, okay, intelligent, so fucking what? When the demeanor they present is that of an Asshat, I simply don't care what is deep down.
It's sort of like Severus Snape in the Harry Potter Books. He was unpleasant to be around. I don't care if he "ultimately" did good. He was a jerk who did things for selfish reasons. He can't be redeemed in my eyes.
Now on another track, about females that change who they are based on who they are with. I honestly find that sad. I've seen it a LOT. I've seen it taken to extremes that are not healthy.
The thing is I'm not sure I have the right to feel that way. I mean it's their decision, their lives. Those decisions, one would assume are just as valid as following their own goals. Right?
Being a well socialized female around here usually does mean giving up some of yourself for those you love. God knows I've done that. I'm damned glad I have. It doesn't mean I've lost myself though. That's what I worry about for some.
I think this is why there are so many elderly and bitter ladies. Eventually the kids leave and rarely visit. The husband dies. She turns around and says, I did this for THEM, how could they treat me this way? How could I be alone? I've lived for others.
I listen to my friends. They tell me their dreams and goals. Then they get with a love interest and boom, everything changes or nearly so.
But is that bad? Or is that just life?
Sometimes other peoples dreams are so beautiful and wonderful they are hard to resist. You want to help make them come as close to true as you can too because you love them.
Sometimes your dreams turn out to be things you don't really want. Things that would have left you cold and miserable.
Every choice I made even if I factored others into it, I made. I'm comfortable with making those choices, changing my dreams. In fact, when I made choices with others in mind, I made the best choices of my life. If I only had me to think about, I'm sure my course would have been far more self destructive.
So I hope that when I am alone someday, I will still remember. I made that choice not for my daughter, son, husband, father or mother but because I made it and it was a good choice, a better choice for me and for them.
Then I think about men who change their goals, who they are and their visions for the people they love.
Well I try to. Can't really think of any but for the sake of argument let's say I can. Would I feel as sad for them? Would I have more of a right to?
I'm going to go with, it would bother me but perhaps a little less. I'll admit I have a double standard. I generally think men are far more selfish than women. I know of a few specific incidents that don't follow that but in general this is what I've seen.
I think society engenders these things.
Given that, I think when a man gives a little for the people he loves that's usually reflects some maturity and is a healthy thing. However if he gives up all his goals and dreams just like with a woman, it would make me sad.
I know my core is the same regardless but yes, I'm influences a bit by who I'm with as they are by me. Usually, and this is what makes it a nice and healthy fit, we affect each other in good ways.
I'm probably talking to much.
As usual.
Undefinable D/s relationships.
I have said that in slightly different words to people and about people so many times.
All this crap about deep down they are nice, sweet, okay, intelligent, so fucking what? When the demeanor they present is that of an Asshat, I simply don't care what is deep down.
It's sort of like Severus Snape in the Harry Potter Books. He was unpleasant to be around. I don't care if he "ultimately" did good. He was a jerk who did things for selfish reasons. He can't be redeemed in my eyes.
Now on another track, about females that change who they are based on who they are with. I honestly find that sad. I've seen it a LOT. I've seen it taken to extremes that are not healthy.
The thing is I'm not sure I have the right to feel that way. I mean it's their decision, their lives. Those decisions, one would assume are just as valid as following their own goals. Right?
Being a well socialized female around here usually does mean giving up some of yourself for those you love. God knows I've done that. I'm damned glad I have. It doesn't mean I've lost myself though. That's what I worry about for some.
I think this is why there are so many elderly and bitter ladies. Eventually the kids leave and rarely visit. The husband dies. She turns around and says, I did this for THEM, how could they treat me this way? How could I be alone? I've lived for others.
I listen to my friends. They tell me their dreams and goals. Then they get with a love interest and boom, everything changes or nearly so.
But is that bad? Or is that just life?
Sometimes other peoples dreams are so beautiful and wonderful they are hard to resist. You want to help make them come as close to true as you can too because you love them.
Sometimes your dreams turn out to be things you don't really want. Things that would have left you cold and miserable.
Every choice I made even if I factored others into it, I made. I'm comfortable with making those choices, changing my dreams. In fact, when I made choices with others in mind, I made the best choices of my life. If I only had me to think about, I'm sure my course would have been far more self destructive.
So I hope that when I am alone someday, I will still remember. I made that choice not for my daughter, son, husband, father or mother but because I made it and it was a good choice, a better choice for me and for them.
Then I think about men who change their goals, who they are and their visions for the people they love.
Well I try to. Can't really think of any but for the sake of argument let's say I can. Would I feel as sad for them? Would I have more of a right to?
I'm going to go with, it would bother me but perhaps a little less. I'll admit I have a double standard. I generally think men are far more selfish than women. I know of a few specific incidents that don't follow that but in general this is what I've seen.
I think society engenders these things.
Given that, I think when a man gives a little for the people he loves that's usually reflects some maturity and is a healthy thing. However if he gives up all his goals and dreams just like with a woman, it would make me sad.
I know my core is the same regardless but yes, I'm influences a bit by who I'm with as they are by me. Usually, and this is what makes it a nice and healthy fit, we affect each other in good ways.
I'm probably talking to much.
As usual.
Undefinable D/s relationships.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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FurryFury said:Thanks Beautiful Graceanne!
I'm surprised and honored.
You just made my day/night!
I'm about ready to cry in fact but it's a good cry.
*hugs* You say lotsa smart things, I jsut don't always remember about this thread. lol
graceanne
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May 1st - words of BiBunny
I almost posted this somewhere else, but I didn't feel like donning the flame suit. I figured this thread was the best place to post with the least likelihood of getting bitched at.
What is up with the fucking pussy-fication (technical term) of BDSM? Why is it when someone posts a thread about breath play or breast bondage or whatever, it seems that the consensus is usually, "It's dangerous. Don't do it"? I'm not advocating doing stupid shit just for the sake of doing stupid shit, but damn. Educating oneself and minimizing the risks of any activity are things intelligent people do, obviously. But does every fucking activity have to be dumbed-down and totally idiot-proof before we can even think about engaging in it?
It's not supposed to be pretty and romantic and perfectly safe. It's supposed to be raw and primal and, dare I say, violent, at least in my world. To over-simplify, I crave BDSM because it's not vanilla. Vanilla bores me. To make kink into a slightly different shade of vanilla is defeating the purpose. I'm not into "kinder, gentler, prettied-up BDSM," sorry. I suppose it's fine if you are, but don't try to force it on me.
I could go on and on, but I'd like to know what y'all think.
Taboo. Open discussion, no attitude.
I almost posted this somewhere else, but I didn't feel like donning the flame suit. I figured this thread was the best place to post with the least likelihood of getting bitched at.
What is up with the fucking pussy-fication (technical term) of BDSM? Why is it when someone posts a thread about breath play or breast bondage or whatever, it seems that the consensus is usually, "It's dangerous. Don't do it"? I'm not advocating doing stupid shit just for the sake of doing stupid shit, but damn. Educating oneself and minimizing the risks of any activity are things intelligent people do, obviously. But does every fucking activity have to be dumbed-down and totally idiot-proof before we can even think about engaging in it?
It's not supposed to be pretty and romantic and perfectly safe. It's supposed to be raw and primal and, dare I say, violent, at least in my world. To over-simplify, I crave BDSM because it's not vanilla. Vanilla bores me. To make kink into a slightly different shade of vanilla is defeating the purpose. I'm not into "kinder, gentler, prettied-up BDSM," sorry. I suppose it's fine if you are, but don't try to force it on me.
I could go on and on, but I'd like to know what y'all think.
Taboo. Open discussion, no attitude.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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May 2nd - words of CutieMouse
[hijack]
All that "gushy stuff" isn't romance [to me]...that's commericalism. While I'd struggle to see the "romance" in specifically having my breast nailed to a board, I do see romance in a hell of a lot of things that other people think are sick/twisted/abnormal.
Romance is the physical manifestation of my Love for my PYL, and his love for me... if you Love me [I mean capital L Love], don't pacify me with pink roses. Use me as you see fit; enable my suffering, allowing me an outlet for my devotion; offer me every opportunity to serve... that is romance.
[/hijack]
Taboo. Open discussion, no attitude.
[hijack]
All that "gushy stuff" isn't romance [to me]...that's commericalism. While I'd struggle to see the "romance" in specifically having my breast nailed to a board, I do see romance in a hell of a lot of things that other people think are sick/twisted/abnormal.
Romance is the physical manifestation of my Love for my PYL, and his love for me... if you Love me [I mean capital L Love], don't pacify me with pink roses. Use me as you see fit; enable my suffering, allowing me an outlet for my devotion; offer me every opportunity to serve... that is romance.
[/hijack]
Taboo. Open discussion, no attitude.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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May 3rd - words of Catalina_Francisco
For me those more sadistic things are romantic, but then I am also quite willing to be showered in roses and chocolates, taken to dinner, have sweet nothing whispered in my ear (in Spanish of course), given a massage once in a blue moon as a reward for being good, and see these things as equally romantic. I think a lot of people are afraid to want and/or welcome these more mainstream ways of showing romance incase others don't think them as D/s enough....I have no such insecurities, but then I also do not get the either/or arguments which arise in many of life's situations....diversity is the spice of life for me and keeps things interesting with the unpredictable contrast of dark and light.
Catalina
Taboo. Open discussion, no attitude.
For me those more sadistic things are romantic, but then I am also quite willing to be showered in roses and chocolates, taken to dinner, have sweet nothing whispered in my ear (in Spanish of course), given a massage once in a blue moon as a reward for being good, and see these things as equally romantic. I think a lot of people are afraid to want and/or welcome these more mainstream ways of showing romance incase others don't think them as D/s enough....I have no such insecurities, but then I also do not get the either/or arguments which arise in many of life's situations....diversity is the spice of life for me and keeps things interesting with the unpredictable contrast of dark and light.
Catalina
Taboo. Open discussion, no attitude.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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May 4th - words of NALA CAYENNE
I am a submissive.
Websters dictionary defines a submissive as: characterized by tendencies to yield to the will or authority of others.
Several books on submission in BDSM define a submissive as one who gives of themselves to a Dominant without thought of personal pleasure or gain. The owned submissive of a Dominant only thinks of his/her Dom/me or Master’s pleasure- seeing that their desires are fulfilled is what gives the submissive meaning and purpose.
A close Dom friend of mine defines a submissive as a person who is driven to surrender his or her will to another to fulfill certain emotional needs. This of course is his very basic definition for submissive as a whole, because as he reminded me, there are more specific definitions to the varying degrees, i.e bottoms, slaves and submissives.
I define being a submissive as wanting to give wholly of oneself to another, taking into consideration the thoughts, feelings, emotions, pleasures and desires of that other person, a Dominant, without regard for personal gain or satisfaction; To make someone else happy by seeing that their needs are met and by giving of oneself totally, mind, body, heart and soul, trusting that in their capable and guided hands, you will thrive. Always growing, always learning.
I can’t see being anything else.
Does this make me weak, “fucked up in the head,” an attention seeker? I don’t think so. This makes me someone who is very aware of her place in life. Someone who has the desire to give of herself totally to someone and do everything in her power to make sure that person knows how important they are to my existence.
The Isolated BDSM Blurt Thread
I am a submissive.
Websters dictionary defines a submissive as: characterized by tendencies to yield to the will or authority of others.
Several books on submission in BDSM define a submissive as one who gives of themselves to a Dominant without thought of personal pleasure or gain. The owned submissive of a Dominant only thinks of his/her Dom/me or Master’s pleasure- seeing that their desires are fulfilled is what gives the submissive meaning and purpose.
A close Dom friend of mine defines a submissive as a person who is driven to surrender his or her will to another to fulfill certain emotional needs. This of course is his very basic definition for submissive as a whole, because as he reminded me, there are more specific definitions to the varying degrees, i.e bottoms, slaves and submissives.
I define being a submissive as wanting to give wholly of oneself to another, taking into consideration the thoughts, feelings, emotions, pleasures and desires of that other person, a Dominant, without regard for personal gain or satisfaction; To make someone else happy by seeing that their needs are met and by giving of oneself totally, mind, body, heart and soul, trusting that in their capable and guided hands, you will thrive. Always growing, always learning.
I can’t see being anything else.
Does this make me weak, “fucked up in the head,” an attention seeker? I don’t think so. This makes me someone who is very aware of her place in life. Someone who has the desire to give of herself totally to someone and do everything in her power to make sure that person knows how important they are to my existence.
The Isolated BDSM Blurt Thread
intothewoods
Truth seeker
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kick ass post from sinnocent - I think October 30...
sinn0cent1 said:It's called ENGLISH.
I won't speak for others, but I bet if I did I'd be on the mark for most in telling you that the use of possesive pronouns does not affect how much control a 'Dom' has over thier 'sub'. (PYL/pyl whatever)
Many PEOPLE... and 'subs' as you call them [pyl] have and do make use of a good portion of common sense in not mangling sentence structure, and grammar and the English language.
It's awkward for both the reader and the person speaking to use sillynilly phrases such as 'the Master of this one' ... 'the grand poobaa who lay claim to my subby ass'.
True fucking shmoooooo.
What kind of person, [regardless of how dominant or submissive they claim to be and/or identify as] makes it thier business to define what is and what is not.. especially in regard to taking it upon themselves to define other PEOPLE and thier relationships?
True what?? True ass? True fools? True ignorants?
This IS what you are referring to I am guessing.
intothewoods
Truth seeker
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sinn0cent1 said:Oops there goes my innocense right out the window!
Thanks. ITW
The grand pooba who lay claim to my subby ass? Oh yeah - now THAT'S a quote!!!!!
intothewoods
Truth seeker
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Heh heh. Yep. She's pretty bad ass.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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May 5th - words of sinnOcent1
"I am not just some wannabe slave who talks the talk.... I walk the walk. I stand by who I am and what I promised IYM when I agreed to serve Him at this level. I'm wired in that fashion both in or out of this relationship. I'm loyal. My word is valuable, and I don't make promises with a plan to break them. [ And it is NOT always fun.. and there have been times when I have wanted to be anywhere else than here...... and I am far too loyal to ever leave, and so am greatful that we always manage to work things out ...... and I am expressing this here because I am hell bent on 'keeping it real' and in order to dispell the myths that some will portray of this type of relationship being easy or perfect at all times... or of all slaves having to be 100% obedient to be *true slaves* ] --And if I wake tomorrow and He is suddenly a changed person and changed to any degree... I will be here to serve Him for as long as He wants me to. I will only seperate from this relationship by release or by death.
Being owned certainly brings feelings of possessiveness and jealousy to the table at times. When it has brought those feelings our way, we dealt with them just as we do any other issue which may arise in our relationship. We talk. We communicate. ALOT. Often.. We do not stop until we both are feeling 'ok' with each other, ourselves, and the relationship.. again.
We understand better than anyone else that this relationship is not for everyone. We are told so by others, often. Likewise, on the flip side of the coin, we often find ourselves looking at the relationship of others and commenting between ourselves things like, "THAT wouldn't work for us.", and "That's so far from where we are." and sometimes, "Eww.. fuck that shit". Then we stop and remember that what works for others may not be for us, and we reflect on how lucky they are to have found SOMETHING out there that DOES work 'for them'.
In June of '04 I searched for a man with whom I could share exactly this type of relationship. It's what I decided I wanted. So many search for so long and never get what they want and need. WHY would I WANT to leave ? I have found the 'it' that so many only hope to find. I have found my ideal 'happily ever after'.
This type of relationship is right for us, and it requires work sometimes, just like any other... and I wouldn't care to be in any other type of relationship with Him.
P.S. TO answer Bandit's question posed by this thread: The joy that I get in being owned by my PYL is no different than most other pyls and who do not view themselves as owned: I enjoy pleasing Him. I enjoy knowing that *I* please Him by being who and what He requires and expects in a relationship."
Ownership
"I am not just some wannabe slave who talks the talk.... I walk the walk. I stand by who I am and what I promised IYM when I agreed to serve Him at this level. I'm wired in that fashion both in or out of this relationship. I'm loyal. My word is valuable, and I don't make promises with a plan to break them. [ And it is NOT always fun.. and there have been times when I have wanted to be anywhere else than here...... and I am far too loyal to ever leave, and so am greatful that we always manage to work things out ...... and I am expressing this here because I am hell bent on 'keeping it real' and in order to dispell the myths that some will portray of this type of relationship being easy or perfect at all times... or of all slaves having to be 100% obedient to be *true slaves* ] --And if I wake tomorrow and He is suddenly a changed person and changed to any degree... I will be here to serve Him for as long as He wants me to. I will only seperate from this relationship by release or by death.
Being owned certainly brings feelings of possessiveness and jealousy to the table at times. When it has brought those feelings our way, we dealt with them just as we do any other issue which may arise in our relationship. We talk. We communicate. ALOT. Often.. We do not stop until we both are feeling 'ok' with each other, ourselves, and the relationship.. again.
We understand better than anyone else that this relationship is not for everyone. We are told so by others, often. Likewise, on the flip side of the coin, we often find ourselves looking at the relationship of others and commenting between ourselves things like, "THAT wouldn't work for us.", and "That's so far from where we are." and sometimes, "Eww.. fuck that shit". Then we stop and remember that what works for others may not be for us, and we reflect on how lucky they are to have found SOMETHING out there that DOES work 'for them'.
In June of '04 I searched for a man with whom I could share exactly this type of relationship. It's what I decided I wanted. So many search for so long and never get what they want and need. WHY would I WANT to leave ? I have found the 'it' that so many only hope to find. I have found my ideal 'happily ever after'.
This type of relationship is right for us, and it requires work sometimes, just like any other... and I wouldn't care to be in any other type of relationship with Him.
P.S. TO answer Bandit's question posed by this thread: The joy that I get in being owned by my PYL is no different than most other pyls and who do not view themselves as owned: I enjoy pleasing Him. I enjoy knowing that *I* please Him by being who and what He requires and expects in a relationship."
Ownership
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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BTW, thanks so much graceanne for keeping this going and adding posts....hopefully we will get it finished this year!!
Catalina
you, both.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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catalina_francisco said:BTW, thanks so much graceanne for keeping this going and adding posts....hopefully we will get it finished this year!!
Catalina
LOL You're welcome. And maybe - but I would be surprised. Their's only two months left in the year, and I'm not even halfway through the year.
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