"To keep the review thread clean..."
- Thread starter The Poets
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beautyandwine
Experienced
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Tathagata
Lazarus Monkey
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Thank you
Art for the mention and to those who commented.
Always nice to see Maria back
And Tess..have I told you about catching little visiting field mice under Tupperware and setting them free across the street?
It always seems to be at 2 in the morning and the cats are knocking over chairs trying to catch them.
I suppose there may be a poem in there too.
Art for the mention and to those who commented.
Always nice to see Maria back
And Tess..have I told you about catching little visiting field mice under Tupperware and setting them free across the street?
It always seems to be at 2 in the morning and the cats are knocking over chairs trying to catch them.
I suppose there may be a poem in there too.
unpredictablebijou
Peril!
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I haven't been paying attention and only just noticed that LeBroz reviewed my first attempt at audio submissions. Thanks for your comments.
It's true I was conflicted about the best way to read "A Curse". On paper it's such a strict form, it can get too sing-songy, which is why I only wanted to submit it after I'd done an audio version. What was important was to "undo" the breaks that the line structure creates. But I think I was overexcited. I may try it again someday.
The other one, Crush, has always been a big big hit at live readings.
Speaking of which, I have a technical question. I submitted a third audio piece, which has now been rejected twice because they say they have not received the accompanying audio. I sent it. And then again. And a third time. The submission method was exactly the same as the others so I don't know why they're not finding it.
Must I actually bother Lauren with a PM about it, or is there some way I can fix it without taking up her time? An assistant editor who can help me, or something?
Thoughts appreciated...
bijou
It's true I was conflicted about the best way to read "A Curse". On paper it's such a strict form, it can get too sing-songy, which is why I only wanted to submit it after I'd done an audio version. What was important was to "undo" the breaks that the line structure creates. But I think I was overexcited. I may try it again someday.
The other one, Crush, has always been a big big hit at live readings.
Speaking of which, I have a technical question. I submitted a third audio piece, which has now been rejected twice because they say they have not received the accompanying audio. I sent it. And then again. And a third time. The submission method was exactly the same as the others so I don't know why they're not finding it.
Must I actually bother Lauren with a PM about it, or is there some way I can fix it without taking up her time? An assistant editor who can help me, or something?
Thoughts appreciated...
bijou
Lauren Hynde
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You better not bother me.
Lauren Hynde
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Have you tried uploading the audio file directly to the Lit server?
unpredictablebijou
Peril!
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I will attempt to learn how to do that. Any hints? I'm truly NOT good at figuring that stuff out.
thanks,
bijou
thanks,
bijou
Lauren Hynde
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I never did it, but I think there was a thread about it a few weeks ago. Let me look around...
Lauren Hynde
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unpredictablebijou
Peril!
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Thank you so much. I will study this and make the attempt.
yay!
bijou
yay!
bijou
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
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While we are at it .. how do you do illustrated poems please?
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hmmnmm
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Well, UYS I asked the same thing some time ago, maybe there's an old thread. I like the idea too, and messed around with some ideas, but it's harder than it sounds.
Anyway, I really messed up. Nothing new, no. I submitted a piece last night, then just as quick, realized I didn't like it (which is nothing new, either) and submitted a Delete. I thought they'd see both at the same time, and the first one would not go up. But it's up and tomorrow it will probably go down. Then this evening I submitted a revised version which will likely go up shortly after the original one comes down. This confusion was not intended.
Just ignore them all, please.
Thank you.
Carry on.
Sorry.
Anyway, I really messed up. Nothing new, no. I submitted a piece last night, then just as quick, realized I didn't like it (which is nothing new, either) and submitted a Delete. I thought they'd see both at the same time, and the first one would not go up. But it's up and tomorrow it will probably go down. Then this evening I submitted a revised version which will likely go up shortly after the original one comes down. This confusion was not intended.
Just ignore them all, please.
Thank you.
Carry on.
Sorry.
Lauren Hynde
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UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
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Oh goodness I have saved it to favs but so far it is double dutch to me and I will have to study it at length later ... thankyou for the help though
RhymeFairy
Literotica Guru
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wildsweetone said:Caress by RhymeFairy. i liked this poem but think that it could be enhanced by improved line breaks. eg i like the line break on line 4, but don't feel line 3 is right. (line 6 'destines' should be 'destiny's' i think).
You are 1000% correct !!
Thank you for the mention and the improvements. I have been wrestling with my line breaks for years now.
One day it seems OK, the next, " what was I thinking ? " lol .... And destiny's is absolutely right. A single minded mission left me with a brain fart here and there. What gets me, is I still didn't get it/see it before I submitted. Thanks again Sweets ... You are fantabulous ~!!
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UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
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Oh dear
Both my new ones submitted days apart have gone online with 37 other new ones!! which I have just read and gone into overload mode, reviewers you are martyrs to the cause!
Both my new ones submitted days apart have gone online with 37 other new ones!! which I have just read and gone into overload mode, reviewers you are martyrs to the cause!
ghost_girl
Really Really Experienced
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Thank you
Thank you, Wicked Eve, for reading and commenting on my poem.
It takes a special person to appreciate that type of humor, and when I wrote it, I couldn't help but think of your Bob poems, and your Conrad Dimple, of course
julie
Thank you, Wicked Eve, for reading and commenting on my poem.
It takes a special person to appreciate that type of humor, and when I wrote it, I couldn't help but think of your Bob poems, and your Conrad Dimple, of course
julie
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ghost_girl
Really Really Experienced
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Jamison said:Thank you wildsweet for the mention in your review. I don't know anything about enjambents, if I used them, it wouldn't have been on purpose. In this case, however, I call it a leading line break where the last word "does" makes you wonder "does what?" and reader goes to the next line to find out. I'm sure it has a technical name, but I don't recall what. The assonance of "forgot, shot, etc" didn't go over well for others, though I'm glad you appreciated it.
I privately emailed those who left Public Comments, but I'd like to say thank you again here as well.
Dear Jamison
I enjoyed your poem very much, but feel the need to say this.
That phrasing did seem awkward. But it did not ruin the work. As for all those poetic devices? well, I used to feel ignorant because I didnt have my nose in a poetic devise dictionary but I am over that now..., but, I feel that if you HAd done it on purpose, then I would have said, "well, sometimes you must sacrifice the assonance, disssonance etc, for a line, phrase that doesnt made the reader say, uhh, what?
Not everyone understands those ( what I consider poetry-snob) techniques of writing. It always tickles me to read people with MFA's who arent half as good as someone like you who writes what feels natural and comes out so wonderful, as your work consistently is. ( The rain man said I was what he called an intuitive poet, and I think you might fit that bill also) I can honestly say that out of all your work I ever read, that was the first time anything you wrote made me do a double-take for a reason other than being so friggin wonderful..
ps, thank you for what you said about the heart/ lemonade poem, I have always known you were a gallant man and equally as talented and sexy, not to mention sensitive and sweet. Too bad youre taken, cuz your damn near perfect
julie
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UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
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I think that maybe I should push off for a while .. I seem to be going downhill here
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
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I remember my mom and my grandma canning jams and vegetables. I used to help my mom when I was little. It's such a great thing and it should be mentioned in poems.ghost_girl said:Thank you, Wicked Eve, for reading and commenting on my poem.
It takes a special person to appreciate that type of humor, and when I wrote it, I couldn't help but think of your Bob poems, and your Conrad Dimple, of course
julie
I wrote one poem--never shared it here, at least not this version--about my Tupperware loving friend. In the poem, I went downstairs to get her soul. It was in Tupperware on a shelf, where she had vegetables she had canned. I love basements with jars of canned food. Anyway, she opened her Tupperware and her soul was still fresh. She was smug about the whole thing. lol
Oh, and I thought about you this morning while I was walking. There's a family of big, fat crows around here and when I walk, they make this awful racket. They're inside of bushes or on the phone lines. I think they're talking about me. Maybe I'm just paranoid.
ghost_girl
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Dear Eve
I love that crows remind you of me. I am glad something reminds someone of me because I usually feel so invisible. Hence the current fascination with my new favorite poem.
my head is bloodied, but unbowed.
never again will I allow another's words to cause me to feel low or unimportant, but then, yours never did. Your poetry is uplifting in so many ways, but I especially have a love for your morbid ones. And I wish that bitch hadnt done what she did so youwouldnt have pulled your work, like you did. I read you often and with much itensity. You taught me so much
I you, mule sister
xoxox
j
I love that crows remind you of me. I am glad something reminds someone of me because I usually feel so invisible. Hence the current fascination with my new favorite poem.
my head is bloodied, but unbowed.
never again will I allow another's words to cause me to feel low or unimportant, but then, yours never did. Your poetry is uplifting in so many ways, but I especially have a love for your morbid ones. And I wish that bitch hadnt done what she did so youwouldnt have pulled your work, like you did. I read you often and with much itensity. You taught me so much
I
you, mule sister xoxox
j
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