"To keep the review thread clean..."

[WickedEve]

Dear Eve

I love that crows remind you of me. I am glad something reminds someone of me because I usually feel so invisible. Hence the current fascination with my new favorite poem.

my head is bloodied, but unbowed.

never again will I allow another's words to cause me to feel low or unimportant, but then, yours never did. Your poetry is uplifting in so many ways, but I especially have a love for your morbid ones. And I wish that bitch hadnt done what she did so youwouldnt have pulled your work, like you did. I read you often and with much itensity. You taught me so much

I you, mule sister

xoxox

j

Oh, sweet girl, I didn't even see this post until now. I was just coming here to tell WSO that I like her reviews. WSO, I like your reviews! And the parts in bold.

I'm happier with my poems not being here. This way I can keep up with them. I only have them at a few places. I trust Anna and her site with them. They have a good home there, along with my weird artwork. I miss the mule. I do need to start writing again and share some on the forum. I'll write something gross for you.

 

[wildsweetone]

...WSO, I like your reviews! And the parts in bold. ...

ty

 

[ghost_girl]

Oh, sweet girl, I didn't even see this post until now. I was just coming here to tell WSO that I like her reviews. WSO, I like your reviews! And the parts in bold.

I'm happier with my poems not being here. This way I can keep up with them. I only have them at a few places. I trust Anna and her site with them. They have a good home there, along with my weird artwork. I miss the mule. I do need to start writing again and share some on the forum. I'll write something gross for you.

it's okay! I know you love me

and I will be on the look out for that *gross* poem. But it doesnt have to be gross gross, just creepy would do, yeah, creepy is good

 

[starrkers]

Thanks for the mention, Angeline. I take is as high praise that my humble offering was even noticed.

 

[LeBroz]

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Good luck champs — you went and set a spell with your tea — now there are at least 45 new poems out there. And congrats on that poem posting on Red River.

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[champagne1982]

Thanks Leon. I will admit I'm happy to know I can produce poems worthy of note.

I don't know if I'm ever going to get back to the reviews although, there's work on the list by some excellent Literoticans. People could pass some encouragement on to Tihmmnmm as he explores the sonnet form and also to stop by and give the all-too-self-critical Dr Mabeuse a bit of honest feedback on his poetry. I'm sure these two gentlemen would appreciate the notice.

So, folks, if you find the inclination leaning towards recommending some reading or avoidance of today's poetry, stop in at the review thread and tell others about it.

 

[Rybka]

Thank you, LeBroz for mentioning my poem from among today's downpour of new offerings.

Yes, it is meant to be read/said in a northern New England accent and attitude. ~ There should also be a blank line (to indicate a pause) before the final line. The idea being that the 'man' has already left the body.


This is how I expect to die.

 

[ghost_girl]

Thank you, LeBroz

for mentioning my poem off course. You are correct it is about the monarch.

I had someone question the Spanish--- ... I'm not fluent, but I did run it past a friend who is and unless it came out on the page wrong, it means-

where are you going, miss?
if you are not lost,
why are you here?

and why did I do that? make a "poem" that many people look and say, huh?

lol, they migrate to Mexico every year, just thought I would speak to her in her own language.

Those of you who know more than I do, feel free to correct my spellings, accents, inflections, whatever you call it! I am here to learn, as always.

thanks again to those who read and commented-- LeBroz

oh yeah, and on my poem a couple days ago--just once, for me

Neo, LeBroz and under your spell, thank you all so much for reading and commenting. It means a lot to me, especially that you guys found my work even though it didnt make the cut. That shows me you guys actually read poetry here and I like that!!....

love ya'll !!

julie

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thankyou Ghostgirl for you comment on 'Surplus Women' it was written after reading an article in a magazine on a subject I had never even thought of before .. all the women left behind and a generation of eligible men all sent as cannon fodder so there were hardly any left to marry them. In those days all that was left to them was spinsterhood and frustrated virginity.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Jamison's 'Silicon Sex' just goes to prove what we have always known girls ... we only need a man around because you can't cut the grass with a vibrator!!

 

[Guest]

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[Guest]

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[Guest]

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[UnderYourSpell]

Wish I could have put a comment to Ghost Girls 'Washing rugs after a breakup' but can I say here it is fabulous?

 

[bogusbrig]

Washing Up Rugs After The Break Up, a clumsy title but a great poem ghost-girl.

 

[ghost_girl]

Lebroz, eve, BB and Underyour spell,

Thank you all so much. I have bee in one of those "poet funks" where everything comes out sounding awful, and was too chicken to face public comments.
I appreciate your kind, generous words more than you ever know.

 

[ghost_girl]

OK, not a direct quote per se, but I'm still looking. I remember you talking about that picture once upon time ago.

nooo, I think you did quote me directly

I'm giggling like a little girl. at least hubby will let me do stuff like that

thats the pic on the deer blind/stand thingie. the one you couldnt enlarge

 

[champagne1982]

I don't know who usually does Fridays ... so I hope I'm not stepping on any toes. If so, send me an email and blast me, I'm a sort of masochist anyway <snip>
Happy reading everyone! Read, comment vote leave feedback if that is what you care to do, but read. It is good for your soul.



julie

oops! I forgot the disclaimer.

The poems mentioned in this post are ones that I liked. Not necessarily the best, or the only ones worth reading, only the individual reader could make that determination. and since I am not a regular reviewer anyway, who cares what i think??!!

It's usually my day, but I've been torn up with hospital attendance (a very close family member was amputated after a car accident. The details are horrendous so I won't amplify any more than that.) and all the other bits of life we get thrown each day. So, I won't be giving you grief about filling in for me. Your reviews have been wonderful. Thanks for taking the time.

 

[ghost_girl]

It's usually my day, but I've been torn up with hospital attendance (a very close family member was amputated after a car accident. The details are horrendous so I won't amplify any more than that.) and all the other bits of life we get thrown each day. So, I won't be giving you grief about filling in for me. Your reviews have been wonderful. Thanks for taking the time.

OMG, carrie, I am so sorry. I will send good thoughts your way. If you ever need me to do this for you, (until I go back to work), just let me know. I am stranded, in a way, being here totally alone, no car... but should have my lil sunfire back next week.

But anyway, let me know if you need me, I'm glad to do it.

 

[ghost_girl]

Thank you, Foehn, for mentioning my poem, no need for wings.

I truly appreciate those of you who took the time to read it and leave a comment. Ya'll know who you are

and to the person who sent me constructive FB via email, thank you!

You hit upon the same two spots I was having trouble with. Since posting, that poem has undergone some paring and I am still looking for that perfect word or two. It will be done eventually.

 

[hmmnmm]

Well, there's still a couple lines in Poontang that could stand some further manipulation, but the feedback noting the Nugent reference got me to remembering:

Back when I was a much younger juvenile, in the mid-70s, and I'd just started to learn to play the guitar, I asked a classmate whose judgment I respected - since apparently his folks let him grow his hair longer than mine - who he'd recommend I listen to for inspiration and learning. That's where I learned the name Ted Nugent. So I saved up my allowance, and picked out Free For All. When I got home and dropped the needle, the title song intro was a transformative moment to say the least. You know, when you're fourteen or fifteen, you really don't care about politics...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Hi Carrie I haven't been on here long but you get to care for people that you see putting down words for all to read and I do care that you are having troubles and I wish you well and know my thoughts are with you
Annie x

Thankyou Ghost_Girl for your kind words about my poetry, I often worry that it's not good enough .. the ideas and words are there but putting them down in the right order is another matter.

 

[champagne1982]

Thanks for your caring words, ghostie and UYS. I haven't been really putting any poems out there about the event, but I did write this on Ange's photo challenge thread...

For An Amputee

Now that my absence has imposed
an indelible presence,
we can see that we are much more
than the sum of all our parts.
We are each separate,
unique in the way
we complete the whole
and yet, the whole
is no less than I can make it
through the negative
impression of my shadow;
an imprint;
a space; where once there lay
a part to hold it all together.​

 

[RhymeFairy]

Thank you SweetOne ... for your kind mention of my new poem Milky Way MeltDown in the review yesterday. I did send you a pm, hoping to help you discover my madness.

As everyone here knows, I am on a path. To write, play, bounce and learn how to write, better !! I've been here a few years and still, I am learning sooooooo much. Thank you to everyone for helping me along my journey.




Also, a big Thank You to Sack and the WickedOne ... for their commentary. As always, I do appreciate a nod in the right direction.

 

[wildsweetone]

Thank you SweetOne ... for your kind mention of my new poem Milky Way MeltDown in the review yesterday. I did send you a pm, hoping to help you discover my madness.

As everyone here knows, I am on a path. To write, play, bounce and learn how to write, better !! I've been here a few years and still, I am learning sooooooo much. Thank you to everyone for helping me along my journey.




...

RF i decided to write my reply to your PM here because i'd like to know if i'm on the right track with my thoughts and perhaps an experienced poet could either confirm my thoughts or point me in a better direction as i'm still learning this stuff too.

i'm guessing that you're riding on metaphor for sex, am i right? that's what i thought yesterday when i first read Milky Way Meltdown.

so... i'm guessing that the words 'mea culpa' are used instead of the word 'guiltily'?

i think my difficulty is that there are so many differing concrete objects and they don't seem to tie in together very well.

i.e. you use the words 'cycling' and 'rim' which can both be image-connected with bicycle but then they're not used again, no extended metaphor carried on. their use here under a title that relates to outer space, seems odd on a face value basis.

'milky way', 'world', 'edge', 'orbit', all relate to outer space, but then you add in 'beach bomb' and 'plutonium' which don't relate to the outer space theme.

i think there are too many mixed metaphors within these sixteen lines. the strengths of the concrete images seem to be fighting against each other for who is the most important and consequently the clarity of your message is coming across mixed.

like i said, i think i'm on the right track, but would like confirmation from someone more experienced than i am... confirmation or correcting, please.