"To keep the review thread clean..."

[LadynStFreknBed]

Thanks for the mention, darkmaas. Was it a real haiku? Somehow, I doubt it. But it was a fun way to describe the mutt.

I probably should have explained why it isn't a haiku in my comment. Sorry. This is good, because others may want to give their opinion as well.
Here's the poem in question:

My Dog
by: starrkers

Strength, courage and power
A bark demanding respect,
Hollow is the threat



Okay, first of all, it has one too many syllables. The syllables do not have to be in 5-7-5 format. You don't even have to have 17 syllables. But, from what I've read on the subject, 17 syllables could be considered a maximum limit.

Secondly, it contains judgments and anthropomorphism. A haiku is like a snapshot- a frozen moment of nature. I would consider "demanding respect" as an anthropomorphism and "hollow" as a judgment. Even if someone did not consider "hollow" to be a judgment, it doesn't really fit with the single moment that haiku is restricted to. How would I know if it's a hollow threat unless I watch and see that no one is bitten?

"Courage" is an iffy word for haiku. I wouldn't use it, but some people have no qualms about using "courage" to describe an animal's behavior. To me, it's too anthropomorphic.

 

[starrkers]

I never intended it as haiku - I'm no good at it, I just like playing with that form, or something like it. I'll probably put up a few more in that vein over the next day or so.

They're more fake-ku than anything.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

I never intended it as haiku - I'm no good at it, I just like playing with that form, or something like it. I'll probably put up a few more in that vein over the next day or so.

They're more fake-ku than anything.

Oh, I know you never intended for it to be a haiku (as I mentioned in my comment on your poem). Most poems that are like haiku but don't fit the strict standards of haiku are considered senryū.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

thank you, hmmnmmish for your mention.

I'm not sure if the "Ahem" was a prompt for me to explain further..
It's about recovery from trauma. Safety in the distance, the trauma is over, but the effects can still cripple the victim. There is tempered hope in realizing the lasting effects of the trauma are internal and not as threatening as they seem.

 

[hmmnmm]

Well there, LadySheilaship: sorta kinda, your explanation wasn't quite what I took from it, but definitely similar. My interpretation was more to the tune that we can end up creating our own prisons, and the keys to freedom are really right in our own hands. Something to that effect. That's where that Ahem came from. Aren't multiple interpretations beautiful?

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Well there, LadySheilaship: sorta kinda, your explanation wasn't quite what I took from it, but definitely similar. My interpretation was more to the tune that we can end up creating our own prisons, and the keys to freedom are really right in our own hands. Something to that effect. That's where that Ahem came from. Aren't multiple interpretations beautiful?

Well done, hmmnmmish!!!

You could not have known this, but before I did the painting for this poem, I had done a few sketches that had the end of the rope falling across the hands-- as if it was the person's choice to be free.

These interpretations are not mutually exclusive, especially not to anyone going through any sort of recovery- whether from abuse, addiction, or trauma. There are days when the person feels powerless and bound. There are days when the person feels able to free themselves. The idea of being bound but being in control (at least somewhat) are the conflicting perceptions that I was playing with. Anyone who has ever been in recovery of any kind knows that these perceptions can alternate so very quickly.

And, no matter which way I am feeling today, I can at least feel secure that the threat is not real at that moment even though it may feel so real that I choke on it.

I've done more poetry on recovery in the past, and I'm sure I'll be playing with these themes for a long time.

 

[hmmnmm]

Ah ha!

must be time to call it a day, been poking around here all dang day, and they got the walls all gluey and can't pry away and can't... can't... see. but really, must do something that assumes another position. Like scratch on a poetic. On paper. At the window. At once. Goodnight. Really. Thanks for putting up with Friday's corpulence.

 

[AnonAndAnon]

Thanks for the mention yesterday.

There's an article i ran across which applies in general to all the reviews:

"New Literary Art Form Discovered! ---In praise of the praise of poetry"

http://www.slate.com/id/2199466/

 

[hmmnmm]

No hassle whatsoever. I'm glad one of yours came up on my watch.

Interesting article, but it also creates a new awareness to make unaware which could end up being an inner struggle of truly epic dimensions. But it is protected with bony fangs and scimitar claws and appears to have a voracious appetite. Maybe when it goes to sleep I will knock it unconscious, set its nest on fire and run away.

But not today.

 

[starrkers]

Thank you Le Broz for the mention the other day (though I was kinda forcing your hand, taking up 3/4 of the submissions ).

 

[fieryjen]

Just wanted to say thanks a lot to Eve for the mention today. I really appreciate it.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thankyou Eve for including me in your review. A Triolet yes, this Survivor is making me work hard at the forms ...... no need for the whip yet the other one is an Acrostic you nana! Le Broz is online perhaps he's nodded off lol

Ooops wasn't you made the remark I beg your pardon lol

 

[WickedEve]

Thankyou Eve for including me in your review. A Triolet yes, this Survivor is making me work hard at the forms ...... no need for the whip yet the other one is an Acrostic you nana! Le Broz is online perhaps he's nodded off lol

Ooops wasn't you made the remark I beg your pardon lol

Good job on the triolet. It was a lovely read.

Ah! I didn't even notice that it was an acrostic.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Good job on the triolet. It was a lovely read.

Ah! I didn't even notice that it was an acrostic.

Don't think you are alone on that and SafeBets one was funnier!

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Thank you, SB, for the mention!

...and for your comment on my Valentine's Day contest entry.

What do I owe you?
Are you going to keep a running tab?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thankyou from me too that's the stuff I used to write before I came here and found out that not all poetry rhymes! I am glad that the Survivor has given me a chance to try out old skills

 

[Angeline]

Thanks dear S-B for your kind words about my poem. I can say without hesitation that I did not know what I was doing when I wrote it.

It's so nice to be part of everyone writing and posting poetry together again in a challangy way. It feels real good.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

*snerk*

Thank you for the kind mention of my poem. If the Lit police come after me now to check my age, I'm gonna slap you! hard! after I tie you to my bed... the missus can watch.. or join in.. LOL

Just ask my daughter. She'll tell you that I am "plenty old," which is what she says when I get carded.
teenagers.. sigh.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I just got one of my poems published. It's a new poem called For Love and Baseball Check it out and let me know what you think.


Dan

Where is it please to read?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thankyou Hmmnmm for my mentions I am glad you liked my disrobing

 

[annaswirls]

I've been aware of
annaswirls existence for some time, but was not privileged with appropriate encounter, until I got to offer counsel about... things in life. And what a double whammy super duper privilege to have two of her pieces to behold. Of her two I prefer Garden Wall, again, showing us what beautiful expression and pictures and paintings can be made in the limitations of form frames.

Thank you very much! For your review, encouragement and braiding tips. Quite kind, much appreciated. I really like that form! The um Cinquain (Crapsey's) It felt very natural, unforced to write. The next one on the list is driving me to drink.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Gave up on the Cinqain and hid it in a corner hidden deep under a pile of books

 

[Angeline]

Thanks to those who recommended and commented on my poems these past few days. There's so much amazing poetry coming from the writers doing the Survivor challenge, and I'm so happy to be a part of it.

 

[champagne1982]

Thanks to SB for her bold review of both today's and Saturday's poems and for noticing my entries for the PS challenge.

Happy poeticking everyone.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Might I say here and not just in the Survivor thread as it concerns those doing the reviews too, that although I teetered on the edge for ages about whether to do it or not I am glad that I did? The camaraderie with everyone willing to help each other is outstanding and although I don't envy the poor souls doing the reviews with such a large influx every day you're doing a grand job ...... only the rest of the year to go!