"To keep the review thread clean..."

[LeBroz]

.
Thanks Art & 1201 for mentioning A Girl's Best Friend on the New Poems Thread. Its genesis came from 4degrees' recent work, rhetoric . I read those ending lines about diamonds and these lines came to me:
& sitting in her nineties
bejeweled with crystal rock
far warmer than her soul

And 12, if you see some weakness here, you should see the lame lines I cut as this thing progressed! Especially about her working her husbands to exhaustion as they provided her with her diamonds and other knickknacks she craved. And it certainly is different from End Times?!!
.

 

[twelveoone]

.
Thanks Art & 1201 for mentioning A Girl's Best Friend on the New Poems Thread. Its genesis came from 4degrees' recent work, rhetoric . I read those ending lines about diamonds and these lines came to me:
& sitting in her nineties
bejeweled with crystal rock
far warmer than her soul

And 12, if you see some weakness here, you should see the lame lines I cut as this thing progressed! Especially about her working her husbands to exhaustion as they provided her with her diamonds and other knickknacks she craved. And it certainly is different from End Times?!!
.

Your weeding and care with words should be emulated. Believe me, you are in the minority (over at new poems) as far as weeding goes Your's do not need tightening, perhaps more of the "diamonds and knicknacks", let the audience arrive at the message. There are two or three threads where sometimes excellent free advice is offered. You can even start a thread and ask for input. It is best to consider advice from someone you consider an opposite of you. When either Jim/jthserra or Pat/Rainman say something, I listen, not because we agree so much, but rather because we disagree on so much.
As far as lame lines, I've posted a few, what I like about you is I get the feeling you kill before you post, I kill 10X what I post, and can still come up with losers.

The diamonds may have served as an illustration, a counterpoint, who knows?

BTW your comments are beginning to grow teeth, keep up the good work.

 

[LeBroz]

Your weeding and care with words should be emulated. Believe me, you are in the minority (over at new poems) as far as weeding goes Your's do not need tightening, perhaps more of the "diamonds and knicknacks", let the audience arrive at the message. There are two or three threads where sometimes excellent free advice is offered. You can even start a thread and ask for input. It is best to consider advice from someone you consider an opposite of you. When either Jim/jthserra or Pat/Rainman say something, I listen, not because we agree so much, but rather because we disagree on so much.
As far as lame lines, I've posted a few, what I like about you is I get the feeling you kill before you post, I kill 10X what I post, and can still come up with losers.

The diamonds may have served as an illustration, a counterpoint, who knows?

BTW your comments are beginning to grow teeth, keep up the good work.

Thanks ~~ after months of reading poems and commenting I began to notice ways others' works could improve. And then someone up and went and suggested I submit. Don't remember who it was that had that idea, but whoever it was, they're who unleashed me, for good or ill.

Don't know if I'm quite up to going wholesale on a thread. Baby steps. But I do notice the comments and react to most. And yes, hearing from a different POV is more enlightening than hearing from someone who "sees" things the same way I do.

And I'll keep on commenting. But I've noticed that doing so is the same as writing poetry. Some days I'm more into editor mode than others (turning off the TV also helps).

.

 

[twelveoone]

Thanks ~~ after months of reading poems and commenting I began to notice ways others' works could improve. And then someone up and went and suggested I submit. Don't remember who it was that had that idea, but whoever it was, they're who unleashed me, for good or ill.

Don't know if I'm quite up to going wholesale on a thread. Baby steps. But I do notice the comments and react to most. And yes, hearing from a different POV is more enlightening than hearing from someone who "sees" things the same way I do.

And I'll keep on commenting. But I've noticed that doing so is the same as writing poetry. Some days I'm more into editor mode than others (turning off the TV also helps).

.

I understand, the object is improvement and an open mind. (they go hand in hand) A suggestion, if you ask, 10 people will tell you, it's human nature. A different opinion may not be right, your opinion may not be taken, it should illustrate an area of concern, that is all.
Good luck.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Thank you for your kind words I appreciate them very much, again thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And last one the menu today is
We hold the power
by RedHairedandFriendly ©
giving the power of words in this nice flowing pen...

More on the list to view ...if time permits go read and comment PLEASE!!!
they are all good...tcb/blue

 

[Guest]

Lit poets in the PNW

Fellow ducky friends, I hope you all faired well the last 27 days. You'd at least think we'd break the record for 33 consecutive straight days of rain after all that, wouldn't you?

 

[Tzara]

Fellow ducky friends, I hope you all faired well the last 27 days. You'd at least think we'd break the record for 33 consecutive straight days of rain after all that, wouldn't you?

My basement only flooded a little bit, once.

Brekekekex, ko-ax, ko-ax,
Brekekekex, ko-ax, ko-ax!

 

[Decayed Angel]

thank you bluerains for the mention in the new poems review.


m.

 

[TheRainMan]

Letters in Red Ink by TheRainMan

“I make it with these inventions of hands,
my red palms strong
on the glorious freedom of your knees
as I pry them open like paper bars.”

My initial response was It’s just not fair! but of course it is.
We’re lucky to have such a talent and generosity among us.
Just go and reads it if you haven’t done so yet.

thank you, t.

 

[twelveoone]

Letters in Red Ink by TheRainMan

“I make it with these inventions of hands,
my red palms strong
on the glorious freedom of your knees
as I pry them open like paper bars.”

My initial response was It’s just not fair! but of course it is.
We’re lucky to have such a talent and generosity among us.
Just go and reads it if you haven’t done so yet.




Lastly, please go and read the poems on offer. Nowhere else (that I know of) allows us to show our poems so freely. We’re lucky, you know?

Thanks *steps off soap-box*

I've often felt that way too, I left two comment posts, erase one, go to it, eh Rainman?
Makes me look like a fan.

 

[Guest]

Much thanks for the mention and great comments on my poem today, Pains only when it rains. I've revised and resubmitted it with the points made in PC and in Tess' mention.

 

[wildsweetone]

litland playing up?

okay, who's the one that keeps tripping over the cables?

 

[Tzara]

Thanks, duckie for mentioning my poem. It wasn't supposed to come up on Wednesday. Sorry about that.

Thanks also to those of you who left comments. Comments are always helpful.

Mousie: It was supposed to be "Fiona French Freezes on Fir Island as Fleecy Eagles Feed and Fight" but the index finger on my left hand developed a blister. (Actually, this is a textbook example of don't change a title at the last minute!

Fly: Sorry about dropping the rock on your foot.

 

[flyguy69]

Thanks, duckie for mentioning my poem. It wasn't supposed to come up on Wednesday. Sorry about that.

Thanks also to those of you who left comments. Comments are always helpful.

Mousie: It was supposed to be "Fiona French Freezes on Fir Island as Fleecy Eagles Feed and Fight" but the index finger on my left hand developed a blister. (Actually, this is a textbook example of don't change a title at the last minute!

Fly: Sorry about dropping the rock on your foot.

No prob. Steel-toed poet boots.

 

[twelveoone]

Rybka,
Excellent Review, so good that when I went to post seconds, it would have taken it to another page. So I didn't, I did not want to detract from the review.
Excellent.

Raiman, you piss me off, Excellent again.

Note to Bill Dada, I thought old Syd got out, sorry if I mistook

I do like your style~strange.

 

[TheRainMan]

Next to be mentioned is another writer whose work would be worth studying by any new and aspiring poet. The first two poems recommended today are structured rhyming poems. This one is a fine example of quality free verse, and the writer has become a "must read". So go do it and enjoy TheRainMan's

Quote:

Tumbleweeds

I skitter across the heat of lonely towns
like a drop on a skillet, stopping only
to smooth myself out in bars
with strings of women
who don’t tie themselves
to lives like mine. There was a time

Right thread. . .

Rybka, that you very much for the mention.

Raiman, you piss me off, Excellent again.

Good.

I know if I don't piss you off, my writing is getting too complacent.

 

[The Poets]

Right thread. . .

Rybka, that you very much for the mention.





Good.

I know if I don't piss you off, my writing is getting too complacent.

Until I saw your post, I had completely forgotten about the poem. I meant to comment, but I got all worked up over skitter. It's probably the best word for the poem, but... skitter. I skitter. I skitter. I skitter. I shouldn't have repeated that to myself. I got so distracted by the skitter that I never commented--and that's probably for the best.

Eve

 

[TheRainMan]

Until I saw your post, I had completely forgotten about the poem. I meant to comment, but I got all worked up over skitter. It's probably the best word for the poem, but... skitter. I skitter. I skitter. I skitter. I shouldn't have repeated that to myself. I got so distracted by the skitter that I never commented--and that's probably for the best.

Eve

I like skitter.

You don't like skitter?

LOL

 

[WickedEve]

I like skitter.

You don't like skitter?

LOL

I'm fanatical about skitter.
I just got in a tizzy over it the other day--and it doesn't take much.

 

[clutching_calliope]

Hope this might go here

.....

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

17 illustrated poems, today. Wow!


----------

Purrfectly Perfect
by RedHairedandFriendly ©
This poem gets cute cat points.

-----------

Thanks For the mention Glad I got some cat points.... (Frisbee's excited too)

 

[Decayed Angel]

thank you eve for mentioning my poems...


m.

 

[Guest]

Much thanks to Flyguy, 4degrees, Anna, Saldne, Art and Eve for the mention and the comments on my poem, can't stop staring. I really appreciate the time, the feedback and the pleasant surprise.

 

[Guest]

******************

 

[champagne1982]

<snip> Anyone know what "colliery" means? Without googling?</snip>

Well, duh! A colliery is a place where they sell coal! It's argots I've got to look up.

Thanks for the mention ::guy and to those who RVC'd, thankyou. Your compliments are more precious than the votes.

I'd like to take the time to appreciate all of the poets who review each week. Yours is not an easy job but you all do so well, you make it look like sex, something we're always ready to do, with the right poet .