"To keep the review thread clean..."

[TheRainMan]

I love you all

don't you want to hedge that?

. . . maybe, just a little?

 

[RhymeFairy]

it’s 5 a.m. and still I do not sleep,
still I linger

at the spot where you try to travel
from one place to the next,

but you cannot choose the destination.
I have been here alone,
and lying after love, and always

I feel like I’ve broken into pieces
and entered every corner
of the city—I want to know them

prior to my arrival, to count myself
wise before the fact—

as the world is changing its look,
moving from one face to the next,

before it’s too late, I want them all
to hear me say
I know your suffering. It is my own.

this RM.

You caught my attention with your first line. Feel some deep pain here my friend. Love it ~

 

[WickedEve]

I love you all

I can't blame you for loving me...
oh, you said all.
All sounds a bit crowded. Wouldn't you rather just love me?!
Me and not rainman.

 

[wildsweetone]

I love you all

*hugs* hope you're doing better now Chris.

 

[RhymeFairy]

Just caught up on my reading here.
What an awe-inspiring ... awesome read !!

Congrats Neo ~!!!

... waiting to see what CC and T come up with next.
Like a soap opera never know where it goes and what will happen next.

Addicting I tell ya ~~!!

More, I n e e d more ....

 

[annaswirls]

hi HKS! Thanks for checking in, and for your input and participation in the forum, welcome!

hey-

new on this block.
this spot seems to rock.
I can be a bit silly,
a little willie-nillie,
and I might even give you a shock!


ok- don't be mean I was just having fun : )
yes, another lurker had come out of the woods...
--HKS

 

[annaswirls]

Yeah Champ and welcome Feathers and Cream!

I hope you find what you are looking for, there is a lot of great poetry here-- the traffic patterns change here quite a bit, so always come back if you feel like something is missing, it might show up the next time.


All the best!

Thanks to champagne1892, I have been redirected here to introduce myself.

I hope to learn more about an aspect of writing that I had never previously experienced. If you have time to give me feedback, please be honest. I hope to contribute ideas both for and about writing, and I hope to read (and help critique) some great poetry. My writing is just starting to explore erotic possibilities. My Xanga site is at <www.xanga,com/shealawind> I only post poetry there occasionally, but you may or may not learn something about me if you visited. I haven't submitted anything to Literotica yet, so... there you have me.

 

[annaswirls]

Sounds like you have poem fever that is for sure! I think you will find that even though it takes some time to find exactly how things fit, you will be able to meet and work with a lot of great people here!

And we try not to measure around here certainly your poetry is welcome and appreciated

Neteru here, was told about this site on another forum. Poetry is my life and my life is my poetry. I may see a phrase or a passage in a book, and the muse speaks to me , the poem flows around said phrase or passage. There are some amazing poets on this board, I can only hope to measure up.

 

[annaswirls]

Welcome Poppy! Glad you are bringing us some samples of your work! I am not in poetry mode right now, but I will try to give you comments later if you wish.... hope to see more of you on the boards and some more poetry submitted!

Welcome, stick around awhile!



~as

Hello...I'm kinda new here as a poster but I, too , have lurked a while off and on over the last couple years. I've recently decided to start writing again...for pleasure...but here is a couple samples of my work from a few years back. I have some stories to add here eventually I think in other sections...but this is a sample of my poetry. Comments/criticisms/suggestions are welcome.

I read here because I have come to appreciate the "imagining" of things too often much more than the actual reality of them...lol. Words are very powerful for me...even more than pictures at times...as my mind can conjure both wonderful and horrific images on it's own. So that's why I am here!

The Beast (Addiction)

I danced with the Beast and tasted deadness
Of my spirit. It smelled so sweet....I was deceived.
I embraced with a fool the futility of the hopeless.
My faith was altered (had faltered) and the beast crept in.

I pranced with the Dragon and touched the rotting flesh
Of wicked. It felt so warm.......I was deceived.
I grasped the golden ring and was confused to feel it burning.
My faith resisted (was twisted) and the beast crept in.

I writhed with the Serpent and heard the wailing
Of the charmer. I thought he sang...I was deceived.
I glorified the discord of the Father of ALL Lies.
My faith was reason (was treason) and the beast crept in.

I glanced at my shoulder and saw the tearful eyes
Of *Heppa. My angel cried...and I was grieved.
I prayed for understanding. I asked and did receive.
I saw with terror, my error, but the beast would not LET go.

I cried out to the Lamb and found the Light of Love
Within me. He touched my heart. ALL sin relieved.
My Mother smiled gently streaming strength into my spirit.
My faith revived (I am Alive!) and the beast crept away.

Before it Left it turned it's heads
I caught my breath in fear and dread
Before it Left I heard it say:
"I will be back someday some how some way..."

I pray each day: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference...

poppy (10/90)

*Heppa: my "guardian angel" since childhood

The Serenity Prayer of AA and all 12 Step Programs in italicized bold type.

*********************************************************

PRISMS: A ONE KNIGHT STAND

The prismic man sighed softly
Cooing pleasure from the pain
For you, he hushed, this rainbow
Sensations and a game.

Don't hurt me please (in shadows)
Muted roses, teals and seas
Don't hurt me, echoed echoes...
Please don't hurt me please.

He teased and pleased in earnest
What marvelous sorcery!
My tears and fears he banished
Surrender sweet and free.

The prismic man sighed deeply
Murmured another's name......
My spirit wept in silence
Small pleasures for the pain.

poppy

 

[clutching_calliope]

2-27 Kingstown Portside

.....

 

[Aurora Black]

Bullet by Aurora Black is a harrowing write. Go read.

Thank you, sweetie.

 

[clutching_calliope]

Marco Polo 2-28

.....

 

[TheRainMan]

..... editing

 

[Aurora Black]

Am always a fan of the sea....and
Thalassa
by Aurora Black has made a splash with a light hearted tribute...

Thank you!

 

[wildsweetone]

i swear RainMan just mentioned the word soul in a poem... and not just any soul, but a satisfied soul to boot.

wow

 

[TheRainMan]

i swear RainMan just mentioned the word soul in a poem... and not just any soul, but a satisfied soul to boot.

wow

lol.

ALL words are fair game. words are just words.

IMO, anyone who says there are words (soul, heart, love, etc.) that are off-limits, are not quite right. i think they should be saying that those words are easy to use in cliched and uninteresting ways, so care must be taken to make them fresh and new.

it's not the word itself, but the words that surround it, that determine its legitimacy . . . that's my take on it, for what it's worth.

and that Calli's cue to attack.

 

[WickedEve]

lol.

ALL words are fair game. words are just words.

IMO, anyone who says there are words (soul, heart, love, etc.) that are off-limits, are not quite right. i think they should be saying that those words are easy to use in cliched and uninteresting ways, so care must be taken to make them fresh and new.

it's not the word itself, but the words that surround it, that determine its legitimacy . . . that's my take on it, for what it's worth.

and that Calli's cue to attack.

It's not just your take on it. I think anyone who basically understands poetry knows that. I actually commented on two "soul" poems today. In one comment I said, "I get a little freaked out over the word soul in a poem, unless it's used brilliantly or in some bizarre or cool way." Maybe saying it has to be brilliant is a bit much.

 

[RhymeFairy]

It's not just your take on it. I think anyone who basically understands poetry knows that. I actually commented on two "soul" poems today. In one comment I said, "I get a little freaked out over the word soul in a poem, unless it's used brilliantly or in some bizarre or cool way." Maybe saying it has to be brilliant is a bit much.

Loud n clear ... still wanna see your dildo collection.

I may not be brilliant, but I do so love ... toys.

 

[TheRainMan]

It's not just your take on it. I think anyone who basically understands poetry knows that. I actually commented on two "soul" poems today. In one comment I said, "I get a little freaked out over the word soul in a poem, unless it's used brilliantly or in some bizarre or cool way." Maybe saying it has to be brilliant is a bit much.

yes, maybe, "brilliant" is a bit much.

some of the best advice i ever read on poetry was from Ezra Pound.

"make it new," he said.

 

[TheRainMan]

It's not just your take on it. I think anyone who basically understands poetry knows that . . .

and, that is what i thought, that anyone who understands poetry knows that all words can be used well . . .

but that is not the case. there are poets, and good ones, here and elsewhere, who have made the argument to me that certain words should never be used, because they are unpoetic, per se.

i don't buy that at all . . . nevertheless, i have been unable to convince them.

that's what makes the world go round, and i'm all for the world goin' round.

 

[wildsweetone]

yes, maybe, "brilliant" is a bit much.

some of the best advice i ever read on poetry was from Ezra Pound.

"make it new," he said.

i've a feeling you could turn every cliche in the world on its head and make each one new.




i wonder if that's worthy of a forum challenge...

 

[clutching_calliope]

2-29 The Fat Pauper and the Mousie

.....

 

[bluerains]

Thanks~

Christian for the mention!
Thanks Eve for the feedback ..good advice...and ty to selkie...

 

[poppy1963]

Welcome Poppy! Glad you are bringing us some samples of your work! I am not in poetry mode right now, but I will try to give you comments later if you wish.... hope to see more of you on the boards and some more poetry submitted!

Welcome, stick around awhile!



~as

Thanks annaswirls for your response! I intend on sticking around a while so no rush!

I will try to remember to mark all my posts as FEEDBACK PLEASE! As this is what I am here for...to learn and share with others.

 

[RhymeFairy]

A big thank you going out to Eve for the commentary on my new poem.

I said it and I mean it ... Good or bad, if it helps my writing I am all for it. Thanks Eve for taking the time to read and spend some *quality time with me ~



Also, I want to Thank Blue for her mention in the new poem reviews.
I was surprised by that one my friend ... much appreciated ~