twelveoone
ground zero
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 5,882
fridayam?Oh I am a Robert Fripp fan but don't don't change the subject
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fridayam?Oh I am a Robert Fripp fan but don't don't change the subject
A warm thank you to my old friend twelveone for his comment on "Heff in Epping", but I must correct him: The whole piece is speech, so why put inverted commas around "fuck me"
If my poem can be opaque to even such bright minds as have commented, then I must be at fault for burying the imagery too deeply, though I am not prepared to give up the game just yet
Ask yourself who else was a superb mechanic, limped and was ugly and yet was married to and cuckolded by the most beautiful woman
Btw, I have spent all day trying to get someone to come and fix my heating which has packed up on a bleak, drear day, without success
it was worth all those and morethankyou to all that commented on my poem "creating shadows"
to 1201 tense issues seem to abound in my writing, this is the third time it has been picked up by three different poets, all of whom I respect, I must work on it.
to Harryhill, thanks for bringing the piece up in my old thread to workshop and share thoughts on,
greenmountainer and ishtat, unsure why I used the word infinitesimal, it is a mouthful, I cant justify it, thank you for pointing it out as a hurdle,
To desejo, punctuation and spelling are two glaring faults of mine also been spoken about a couple of times. I wasn't expecting so many comments so thank you all.
tod, I admire youthankyou to all that commented on my poem "creating shadows"
to 1201 tense issues seem to abound in my writing, this is the third time it has been picked up by three different poets, all of whom I respect, I must work on it.
to Harryhill, thanks for bringing the piece up in my old thread to workshop and share thoughts on,
greenmountainer and ishtat, unsure why I used the word infinitesimal, it is a mouthful, I cant justify it, thank you for pointing it out as a hurdle,
To desejo, punctuation and spelling are two glaring faults of mine also been spoken about a couple of times. I wasn't expecting so many comments so thank you all.
todski
I admire you, comment you left on OB63, you do one a week like that, you will go much further faster....
Thanks 1201, in the new year I plan on opening a thread to break down poems from my perspective but put it in open discussion format so people can critique the critique as well as the poem, to critique what I think is at least half properly takes more work than generating poems which I think may be half your point in regards to comments in general. I will finish this 30 in 30 run and hang up the keyboard for a little while in regards to writing because I feel I have hit a plateau there and attempt to critique, reiterate that attempt to critique
My thanks to 1201, Angie, OldBear, and Harry for taking the to comment on "on the Origin of Language."
PS. Thanks to Neo too.
look, you called it like you saw it, extensivelyThanks 1201, in the new year I plan on opening a thread to break down poems from my perspective but put it in open discussion format so people can critique the critique as well as the poem, to critique what I think is at least half properly takes more work than generating poems which I think may be half your point in regards to comments in general. I will finish this 30 in 30 run and hang up the keyboard for a little while in regards to writing because I feel I have hit a plateau there and attempt to critique, reiterate that attempt to critique
look, you called it like you saw it, extensively
Right down I cut down on poetry crit, decided social is the way to go. I probably just pissed three more people off. They deserved it.
If you liked the poem and it made you feel something, it is a good poem in your opinion and worthy of that recommend you gave it. oneiria writes well, go and read the body of work on their submission page. Reading others poetry not only teaches you what good poetry is, it also improves your own writing.
Maybe I will if I find something to comment on in depth without boring myself or the poet.Hello, Neo
A much better way is the occasional comment in depth. i.e work your way though it. Same goes for the person you were talking too.
In short, cut the crap "good" is always subjective, you make it less so by parsing it out.
Or like that poet whine
Show don't tell
Show don't tell
nah, nah
big year coming up - it ends in four
Sincere thank yous to Desejo, Oldbear63 and Todski28 for their kind comments on "Recycled Paper".
Desejo, I loved your detailed comments May I just say that, reading your own lovely poems, we follow different drummers. All the points you make, I have chosen because of the rhythm I wanted, the way I felt it should be read out loud. I normally cut any extraneous words, but these words made the rhythm right so I kept them
Btw, the present tense is often so dull--it hovers uncertainly between the past and the future